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Original poster

To not want toy guns

307 replies

yesiamwhoyouthinkiam · 24/08/2014 23:02

I know I will get a lot of 'boys will use sticks as guns, it's just what they do' responses but I wondered if there were any other parents here who have successfully managed to at least keep toy guns out of their houses?

My DS (almost 4) has already started making shooting actions, talking about 'good shot' and mentioned 'killing monsters with guns' which I know he has picked up from nursery and my DHs tendency to let him watch slightly unsuitable cartoons (scooby doo, super ted).

I have tried explaining that guns are just not nice things to have but clearly it's all just a game to DS.

Was quite aghast at his similar aged cousin threatening to shoot my DS this week.

Anyone been able to successfully keep guns away from their kids (boys I suppose) even after they have started school?

OP posts:
PhilandLil · 25/08/2014 10:41

I don't think playing with toy guns will lead my children to a life of crime, but personally I don't want them to have pretend handguns.

Similarly I feel that seeing a child with a sweetie cigarette would make a fairly unpleasant picture.

However, I see that we aren't going to make any headway on this on either side so I'm off to the gym.

Have a lovely day all.

WaxyDaisy · 25/08/2014 10:42

We have no toy guns, and they are not allowed to make them out of other things either. I do not want by children role playing violence. Mix of boys and girls from 2-9years. Tbh, it has been no problem at all.

KneeQuestion · 25/08/2014 10:45

On a larger scale though I do think we have a tendency to encourage violent or aggressive pay in boys

I agree.

But, on the other hand, there is also a tendancy to discourage any kind of conflict related play, I don't think that is a good thing either. Children need to learn how to stand up for themselves and often do this through those sorts of 'games'.

I would like to elaborate further, but DS3 is badgering me, so I have to go!

RonaldMcDonald · 25/08/2014 10:47

I was a cadet, loved it
Absolutely not military as an adult
Used sweetie fags
Absolutely not a smoker
My girls like pirate and princess costumes/games
I'd guess not either as adults

JustAShopGirl · 25/08/2014 10:59

I'd rather they had a toy gun (role play is good in my opinion) than a shoot-em-up computer game. I am under no illusions that they will gain access to these games as they get older - but the number of pre teens playing them is obscene.

Kids have always played cops and robbers/cowboys and indians etc - but the messages given in the games are much, much more violent and I'm sure have effects on attitudes as the kids grow.

(if on screen suggestion through repetition does not work, how do advertisers make any money?)

KneeQuestion · 25/08/2014 11:11

To be honest I would never encourage my children to join the cadets, TA or any kind of military service. Of course it may be an action they choose when they are older but I wouldn't personally encourage it

I used to think in a similar way.

For various reasons I wouldn't want any of my children to go into the forces. My children are aware of my reasons for feeling this way. But I have always encouraged them to be free thinkers, if they show an interest in something I don't like the idea of based on my personal principles, I give them the room to make their own judgement. One of my children had an interest in a military career, that lasted a few years, but now he is older, he feels differently. His Dad was very anti the idea and not at all supportive, if anything, that attitude probably kept my sons interest going longer! If my son had decided on a military career, then I would have been supportive of that.

I have to say though, being a cadet shouldn't really be bunched in with joining the army or TA. ACF is a youth organisation and a good one at that. It is cheap to participate in and offers lots of opportunities.

armycadets.com/parents-and-carers/

aintnothinbutagstring · 25/08/2014 11:31

I think parents naturally don't buy into things for their children they don't agree with or just plain don't like, class has nothing to do with it. My dh was never allowed to do any art/drawing as a child, it was contraband as his dad thought it not promoting academic work, similarly anything else extra curricular was restricted.

I don't/would not buy a toy gun for my ds, for one I think toy guns (replica of real) have generally fell out of fashion, I don't see many in the shops (other than water guns) nor would I go out of my way to look for one.

I myself am not too keen on Disney princess/barbie for my dd. She was told in preschool she couldn't be a Disney princess when playing with the other little girls as she is 'too brown', she's mixed race. She's not interested in dolls much but the ones I have bought I have sought out non-sexy brunette dolls with olive/dark skin so she can see an alternative to anorexic bleach blonde barbie.

Hakluyt · 25/08/2014 11:36

"I'd rather they had a toy gun (role play is good in my opinion) than a shoot-em-up computer game. I am under no illusions that they will gain access to these games as they get older - but the number of pre teens playing them is obscene. "

Why does it have to be either/or? We had neither in our house when mine were small.

Tanith · 25/08/2014 11:57

I don't have toy guns.
My early years were spent in the Army so I learned that guns are not toys.

When he was old enough, DS joined a shooting club at school, learning to treat guns with respect.

I don't mind the boys playing with sticks, lego whatever - I do think a replica gun is a step too far and it can be very scary for the other children, too.

shrunkenhead · 25/08/2014 12:13

OP I have to confess to having a girl so not been an issue, instead we battle over nail varnish, lipstick, skinny underweight eating-disorder-promoting dolls etc (she's only 5)! Whatever the gender we are just doing our best to raise wholesome, healthy, well-rounded, kind-hearted little people!

scottishmummy · 25/08/2014 12:16

My children dont find toy guns very scary in the least they know its not real
isn't that you projecting your anxieties onto children?assuming they'll be very scared
Some children are very scared of clowns,theyre not restricted or banned on basis a minority may be very scared

PPaka · 25/08/2014 12:18

I used to feel like this too when ds was about 4, hated it.
I don't think too much about it now
He's nearly 7.
There are worse things to get worked up about!

britnay · 25/08/2014 13:17

I had toy guns when I was growing up. I also shot rifles at school.
Still not shot anyone and don't have any desire to either.

Besta · 25/08/2014 13:34

We didn't want our kids to play with toy guns or swords etc. They did have water pistols, but we always called them water squirters. They did play with guns etc at other people's houses, but not in ours. It never seemed to bother them, and I've never seen them pretend with a stick/lego etc.

I don't think playing with guns necessarily turns kids violent or into homicidal maniacs. But neither do I think it stunts their imagination to NOT play with guns.

In the same vein, we have never allowed Call of Duty to be played in our house. If you want to run around pretending to be a soldier - join the army. We are the only parents we know who have banned CoD. I'm sure both older children have played it at friends houses.

We all choose different things for our children. What one person finds acceptable, another doesn't. For us, toys like guns and swords etc just don't float our boat. I just don't think encouraging guns is acceptable. It's interesting that nurseries and schools don't encourage guns and gun play though.

Tanith · 25/08/2014 13:52

I'm a childminder, Scottishmummy, so I'm looking after children with different backgrounds and cultures.
Sometimes children are scared of guns because they have good reason to be.

scottishmummy · 25/08/2014 13:54

Nursery doesn't discourage toy guns,having seen a few sheriffs
And ive sent a dragon slayer into school,complete with toy sword

scottishmummy · 25/08/2014 13:55

Yes,if a child has exposure or reason to fear a gun they will.fortunately its not the norm
My children,like most children,has no reason to fear toy gun

pictish · 25/08/2014 13:56

I never had toy guns as a child and neither did my brother...my mother was dead against it.
Turns out there's a lot of people I'd quite like to shoot.

StillWishihadabs · 25/08/2014 14:07

Ds (aged 10) doesn't play with guns. I hate them ( have worked in A&E and have seen at first hand the damage they do). I have banned all shoot em up computer games. They have both shot an air riffle at a target and done archery. Their dad clay pigeon shots in the autumn and I would have no problem with them doing this or even shooting pheasants (ideally we would then eat them). I completely understand that there are thousands of years of evolution complying boys to aim at a target, but pretending to shoot people is just not ok IMO.

pictish · 25/08/2014 14:18

What about sword fighting stillwishIhadabs? Is it ok to pretend to slash each other to death with a foam sword?

CountBapula · 25/08/2014 14:24

Larry I read recently that there is no evidence whatsoever that the testosterone surge at age 4 exists. Studies by endocrinologists show that testosterone levels are static between the age of six months and the onset of puberty. It appears that Steve Biddulph made it up has got his wires crossed somewhere.

We absolutely do, as a society, encourage violent/aggressive play in boys. You only have to look at toy displays in supermarkets to see it. I find it incredibly depressing, as the mother of two boys. I dislike a lot of toys aimed at boys, but I pick my battles.

I don't allow toy guns for DS1 but he does love knights and has toy swords and shields, Playmobil knights etc. He's also recently latched on to Star Wars and will be getting a light saber for his 4th birthday next month. I'm not so bothered about either - light sabers aren't real, so firmly in the realms of fantasy. Swords are a historical thing - you don't get people fighting with them on the mean streets these days. But guns - they're a real problem, and they hurt and kill people on a regular basis. (We live in South London - so a fair amount of gun crime here.) I don't want my children emulating this. I'd feel the same about knives or daggers.

It's personal preference, though. I dislike it so I limit it. Just as I dislike that horrid toy cow I saw advertised on TV the other day - you have to milk it and then it shits on the floor. Of course DS1 loves it and wants to get one...Hmm

CountBapula · 25/08/2014 14:27

Awful cow game Hmm

StillWishihadabs · 25/08/2014 14:33

Not great no. However chance of locating real and dangerous swords I would say is quite remote. Ds and dd did have swords, only ever played with on visits to castles and when friends came over when it was total carnage TBH for me swords are definitely outside toys.

pictish · 25/08/2014 14:36

Swords are ok because they're historical? Hmm
Clutching at straws there I think...

Basically here's what I think it is - snobbery. Pirates and knights are 'in' for naice children, looking all retro with their floppy hair and stripy tops, whereas guns are for common children who don't know how to behave.

Betcha.

KneeQuestion · 25/08/2014 14:36

If you want to run around pretending to be a soldier - join the army

That doesn't make sense.

Swords are a historical thing - you don't get people fighting with them on the mean streets these days But guns - they're a real problem, and they hurt and kill people on a regular basis. (We live in South London - so a fair amount of gun crime here

Swords are a real problem too, there have been a number of sword attacks in the last few years.