To not want toy guns

[yesiamwhoyouthinkiam]

I know I will get a lot of 'boys will use sticks as guns, it's just what they do' responses but I wondered if there were any other parents here who have successfully managed to at least keep toy guns out of their houses?

My DS (almost 4) has already started making shooting actions, talking about 'good shot' and mentioned 'killing monsters with guns' which I know he has picked up from nursery and my DHs tendency to let him watch slightly unsuitable cartoons (scooby doo, super ted).

I have tried explaining that guns are just not nice things to have but clearly it's all just a game to DS.

Was quite aghast at his similar aged cousin threatening to shoot my DS this week.

Anyone been able to successfully keep guns away from their kids (boys I suppose) even after they have started school?

I think trampoline cause neighbours,less so passerby,most distress in gardens

Sorry ScottishMummy but I disagree that a) limiting free play is 'bad' - it's disingenuous to say you never limit free play and b) that not buying a particular toy is limiting my children. Or otherwise we're suggesting that there should be a mandated basic set of toys all children should have access to so they are not 'limited'.

You seem to be suggesting that adult perceptions of guns are not really 'real'. That death and destruction is something that only happens on TV. That's not true. I'm very aware that the time is rapidly approaching where I will have to explain to my children why our town is infamous and hope it doesn't make them scared to go to school.

ScottishMummy I think you may have missed my first post on this thread about why this is a particularly pertinent subject in my area.

My DH (whose favourite game as a child was to hide behind the hedge at the top of the drive, dressed in his cowboy outfit and shoot old ladies) was desperate to stop our youngest DS from having guns, because there is so much more on television about the gun culture in some areas. His argument was that changes in society make it more important to show boys that guns are not acceptable.
I could see his point, but in the end we were fighting a losing battle. He would play at guns anyway, with Lego etc, and go to other children's houses and play shooting. Eventually we gave in. He is 19 now and is not violent, nor does he have any desire to own a 'real' gun.
Is it the running about and making noises that is the attraction, rather than the idea of shooting people?

I used to play with toy guns - was just using my imagination - never dreamed it was actually about killing people - "bang bang you're dead" was said - but never meant in any REAL way.

I have used real guns - clay pigeon shooting - and would never dream of using one on a person - despite all my previous childhood indoctrination or whatever..

I would not keep REAL guns in the house, toy guns are just another part of the role play - good guy, bad guy experience..

DD13 had to go to hospital when young and the doctor hurt her a lot getting the needle in to take blood - her role play was about pushing the doctor off the roof, about shooting him ("at least 2 times so he is deady dead") - because he hurt her... she is the most girly girl imaginable now - yet if you saw her role-play age 5 you would have put her down as a future psychopathic revenge killer...

SM that's a slightly odd question? It's not unusual surely for people to see children playing in their gardens/the street.

But yes, lots of people walk here rather than use their cars. It's a small place. So yes, people walk past our garden all the time.

My dds have no, and will have no, toy guns.
My dh is ex forces and he is adamant that guns are not toys.
They will be taught to shoot when they are old enough, and when they can truly understand what guns are all about.

we brought up two Ds's without any toy guns except for a super soaker water thing that was more of a space gun and not a replica type thing which we hated. we also managed to avoid the horrid www wrestler things that were popular when they wee little, just said nope when they asked for them. they survived, had plenty of other stuff so were not deprived.

We don't have toy guns in the house. DS has gone through the toast gun phase and now accepts that he isn't allowed toy guns - and why. If you read our local paper and regular stories of gang violence and armed robberies you might pause on whether it's something you want your DS emulating too.

My son went through a phase of being totally and utterly obsessed with guns. I even started a thread about it because I got so worried - and I'm not a worrier as a rule. We'd always been quite relaxed about him having toy guns but I started to wonder if we should chuck the lot away and refuse to buy any more.

He grew out of it. He's 11 now. He moved from guns to wands (HP influence, obvs) and now it's wands and sonic screwdrivers.

Phil I didn't miss your post.your describing horrific but fortunately rare event
That bear no relation to children playing,but yes may have resonance for some
That's a set of events,unfortunately unique to your community

Most gardens are back of property,not visible to passerby that's why i asked
Garden are also usually fenced so not wholly visible
Where I live passerby couldn't see into a garden

Not unique to our community sadly SM (although rare in the UK) which is kind of my point.

Stepping back a bit from that though - would allow your children sweetie cigarettes?

Ah that explains the question SM No one plays out where you are? No front gardens?

No front garden no.

I'm not bothered by guns and shooting games or by anything that children say during play
It is play

My kids, when older, will use how to handle firearms properly, if they want to.

I vaguely thought I wouldn't allow ds guns.
Lasted until he was about 4. He is obsessed with weaponry and has an impressive arsenal of swords, guns and lightsabers.
He also loves stuffed toys. If you ask him what he'd like most in the world he will inevitably say a cuddly toy, a bag of haribo and a sword.

He plays a lot of sword fighting type games, he has playmobil knights, they fight all the time. He hasn't been encouraged towards guns / swords. It just seemed to happen organically. I would say he is at the far end of the loving weapons scale. He wants to play fight more than most little boys I know.

Sigh.

I absolutely loved sweet cigarettes as a child. My friends and I thought we were very sophisticated puffing away on them.
I have never even tried a real cigarette.
I felt nauseous just being in the same room as a smoker. Buses were absolute torture, because the smell wafted downstairs and I still feel sick at the thought of going on a coach. I am forever grateful for the smoking ban.
Are we underestimating our children by banning toy guns?
I was perfectly capable of drawing a distinction between toy cigarettes and the real thing at quite a young age. Perhaps children do this with guns.

In my day we played on scrub and wasteland. Lots of passerby action there. Where the garden is is so variable I think it's pointless just to assume one narrow option of an enclosed walled back garden.

For the final time, I am not suggesting that toy guns = growing up to be a murderer.

On a larger scale though I do think we have a tendency to encourage violent or aggressive pay in boys. I don't like it and I don't like guns, toy or otherwise.

Sweetie fags,loved them and the rolling tobacco when was wean.
Knew they weren't real,knew was a prop
I'm a non smoker,playing with sweetie fags didn't lead to smoking

I'm not assuming garden options?im factually telling you where I live gardens aren't visible to passerby

Post of 09:58 was what I meant.

Although she does say that she's glad DH and I can shoot and can teach her if the Zombie Apocalypse comes

Very important!

I was initially adamant that my children wouldn't play with toy guns for various reasons. I ended up relaxing that stance a bit though. [toast guns, banana and lego guns...]

I didn't want them playing with something that in 'real' form hurts people.

My Dad has a firearms licence [he lives rurally]. My children have an understanding and respect for firearms, they have shown an interest and have been taught all the safety rules by my Dad.

One of my children was an army cadet and has learnt how to handle [dismantle, clean and rebuild] a weapon. The ACF has very strict rules on the cadets handling the weapons.

One of my main worries about them playing with toy guns, was that they may be seen and the toy guns may be mistaken for real weapons, triggering a response from SCO19. That may sound far fetched, but some of the toy ones look very real, also, some 'concerned members of the public' would miss the orange tip on the toy, put 2 and 2 together and come up with 5.

Funnily enough, when my children played with them, they were usually in the role of either armed police or soldiers. Never 'bad guys'. But, only ever inside the house due to the above.

I soon realised it is pretty much impossible to shield them from the idea of weapon based play, I believe outright banning of things just increases the attraction, my children have learnt about the serious side, but still also managed to play without and adverse effects.

Incidently, when I was a little girl, I was also very interested in toy guns and swords, it wasn't such an issue back then though, we were allowed to just get on with it.

They still sell sweetie fags don't they?

To be honest I would never encourage my children to join the cadets, TA or any kind of military service. Of course it may be an action they choose when they are older but I wouldn't personally encourage it.

I am not sure we encourage violent or aggressive play in boys. I think their testosterone makes them do it. I read somewhere that they get a surge of testosterone at four.(Might be Steve Biddulf's Raising Boys).
You can of course encourage them to do lots of running around, bike riding, kicking balls etc, but when they get with other boys they want to roll around like puppies and play fight or shoot each other.