To not want toy guns

[yesiamwhoyouthinkiam]

I know I will get a lot of 'boys will use sticks as guns, it's just what they do' responses but I wondered if there were any other parents here who have successfully managed to at least keep toy guns out of their houses?

My DS (almost 4) has already started making shooting actions, talking about 'good shot' and mentioned 'killing monsters with guns' which I know he has picked up from nursery and my DHs tendency to let him watch slightly unsuitable cartoons (scooby doo, super ted).

I have tried explaining that guns are just not nice things to have but clearly it's all just a game to DS.

Was quite aghast at his similar aged cousin threatening to shoot my DS this week.

Anyone been able to successfully keep guns away from their kids (boys I suppose) even after they have started school?

[Hakluyt]

No, I'm not. I don't like my children playing killing games. I don't like it. So I discouraged it.

No comments on my Mattel "My First IED" kit idea?

[scottishmummy]

It's a killing game to you.because you bring adult baggage and prejudice to free play
I'm heated in defence of child's Free play,not toy guns.the ability to play,explore,be
You're imposing a sinister attachment to play.

[starlight1234]

I was the same with my DS..I knew he would want them but wasn't going to buy them till he asked for them.

He watched Peter pan once and became obsessed with them and swords all at the same time..He even had a nerf zone party but essentially grew out of it.

[yesiamwhoyouthinkiam]

PhilandLil, thanks for posting. It must be incredibly hard to explain. I appreciate you posting.

Haven't read all the responses posted overnight but will do.

Just to explain again really don't think owning a toy light saber = morphing into a Jedi knight any more than I think eating lots of bananas turns you into a banana.

I AM one of those people who just doesn't like guns and the violence they represent. I also don't think that children have a natural tendency to shoot people with anything including toast or sticks. It's something they learn for sure and I do appreciate that they will see guns and other weapons all around them and that it is hard to stop that now.

[scottishmummy]

Yes read your posts,the two i your imposing your negative association to gun onto child
It's unnecessary,and a heightened reaction
Unless your child becomes police/military/agricultural unlikely they'll see or use a gun ever

[Hakluyt]

Yes. I agree. As I have said. I don't want killing games in my house. So I discourage them.

[yesiamwhoyouthinkiam]

RE killing, I too think it is awfully sad to hear one three year old say to another that he wants to kill him. As much as I think it would be awful for my son to say he wants to kill a spider or a snail.

I do understand that some parents think there is nothing wrong with that too.

[scottishmummy]

Guns and other weapons aren't all around.thats your skewed and heightened perspective
Your right though.mine have never shot with toast.no.here it's carrot or cucumber
Toast is for eating,quickly whilst it's hot.carrot is the oozie of choice in this house

[Hakluyt]

I think that the people who are in favour of children playing with guns are usually the types who go on about "you can't say anything nowadays- it's political correctness gorn maaaaaad"

I have a right to have some say on what goes on in my house. I don't like killing games so I discouraged them. My children do not appear to have suffered.

[yesiamwhoyouthinkiam]

RE toy daggers, I always cringe a bit when at a kids party and the balloon maker gives all the boys a sword and all the girls a flower. Maybe I am wrong to think it is a strange thing to do, particularly in an age when so much violence is caused by the male population. This kind of gender socialisation happens so y.oung and without really thinking.

[Sallystyle]

I don't care if I am imposing my adult interpretation on my kids.

I don't like them and don't have to have them in my house. My children are not deprived for their lack of guns.

I don't particularly like violent role play and while I know that children who play with guns aren't going to turn into murderers I don't have to watch them play those games in my house.

My friend lost her child when he shot himself. I don't want to look at my kids pretend shooting each other with that memory in my mind.

Each to their own, but lets be clear; no children are going to be harmed either way.

[yesiamwhoyouthinkiam]

U2TheEdge, so sorry to hear about your son's friend.

[scottishmummy]

I don't think Barbie play turns girls into my little ho
Gender is complex,roles largely modelled and enacted at home and in family

[scottishmummy]

Edge,sorry to that your friend son died

[Sallystyle]

And the children who play with guns are pretending to violently kill people.

It's just a game, but one they are pretending to kill people. It's not a game I want in my home and never did. I didn't like them watching too much violence in movies either when they were young, even though that too is pretend and they know it.

Thankfully, I get to make the decisions and I doubt my children are going to need therapy for it.

[Sallystyle]

Thanks SM :)

[Sallystyle]

And OP.

[PhilandLil]

ScottishMummy you have now repeated that proposition multiple times in this thread (no toy guns = limiting child free play) but it's at very least a serious over statement. There are all sorts of toys I may or may not choose to buy for my children for a variety of reasons do they all count as me having 'limited^ them, even if the reason was say, economic, rather than ideological?

As adults we put adult interpretations on our children's play all the time.

I wouldn't allow my children sweetie cigarettes either because that's not adult behaviour I wish them to model.

I won't buy my 6 yo daughter high heeled sandals.

Or lipstick.

I'm really not keen on Bratz dolls

I monitor and limit as do most parents their Screen time. (All though I quite like Scooby)

I'm their parent. It's my responsibility to make all sorts of decisions about what is appropriate for my children. Even if it differs from the opinions of others (who are of course completely entitled to make different choices for their children)


My children are lovely, funny, happy children with wonderful imaginations. Their lives are not being blighted or their imaginative play stunted by a lack of toy guns.

[yesiamwhoyouthinkiam]

RE catapults. I considered buying my neice a kit which you could put together to make a big wooden catapult thing but then thought about it again and wasn't sure her parents would approve so decided against it.

To be fair I do remember making my own bow and arrow as a child, though I never would have used it to play at killing an animal or a person.

I definitely wouldn't buy a gun (toy) for any child I know. Odd perhaps but I just wouldn't do it. Same as I wouldn't buy them an American Indian head dress or a case of lipstick and nail varnish or high heels. I would be cautious not to offend as you never know what kinds of things their parents dislike.

[scottishmummy]

If you're worried about gender socialisation,well that's largely modelled at home and society
Is it patriarchal housewife set up or Does man share tasks?whats the gender roles
Gender socialisation is not about limiting pink.its about developing free enquiring children.

[scottishmummy]

Phil,illl. Continue to discuss free play,as it is crux of it.adults not imposing sinister perspective on children
Much in same way others will repeat they don't like guns,or toy guns.as that's their crux
That's how discussion go.people have consistently held opinion,that they express consistently

[PhilandLil]

yesiam thank you. I can't bear the thought that my children unwittingly distress a neighbour/ passerby because they are running round the garden with a toy hand gun.

[scottishmummy]

How would you ascertain if passerby or neighbour unwittingly distressed by your children playing with toy gun?
Do you get a lot of neighbours or passerby viewing play in your garden