Hi Mumsnet. I'm a long time lurker/ sometimes poster but have namechanged.
I have ptsd and past childhood abuse issues which I am dealing with with a private therapist. Had nhs assessment before but they dismissed me, so no crisis team available etc.
I'm in a very bad place tonight and have no one to call etc. Last night I cut myself for the first time in a long time, and have been doing other self harming things. The suicidal thoughts that began again last week are really threatening me tonight and I don't know if I can keep myself safe. I have taken 15mg of valium but it;s not helping with the emotional state Im in, just making me feel a bit drunk.
I think unless the valium fully kicks in soon and starts to sedate me, I need to get some emergency help tonight, like going to a hospital. I have never been in a hosputal before and I don't know which one would be best to go to for this. I am in London, and I think Guys and St thomas's are connected to the maudsley psychiatric hospital, so would guys + thomas maybe be the best a and e dept to go to?
What will happen if I go? Can they give me stronger drugs to calm me down tonight?
If anyone has any experience of this, any info would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you x