Urgent help needed (mental health) Please help me. posting here for traffic

[Insecurelyattached]

Hi Mumsnet. I'm a long time lurker/ sometimes poster but have namechanged.

I have ptsd and past childhood abuse issues which I am dealing with with a private therapist. Had nhs assessment before but they dismissed me, so no crisis team available etc.

I'm in a very bad place tonight and have no one to call etc. Last night I cut myself for the first time in a long time, and have been doing other self harming things. The suicidal thoughts that began again last week are really threatening me tonight and I don't know if I can keep myself safe. I have taken 15mg of valium but it;s not helping with the emotional state Im in, just making me feel a bit drunk.

I think unless the valium fully kicks in soon and starts to sedate me, I need to get some emergency help tonight, like going to a hospital. I have never been in a hosputal before and I don't know which one would be best to go to for this. I am in London, and I think Guys and St thomas's are connected to the maudsley psychiatric hospital, so would guys + thomas maybe be the best a and e dept to go to?

What will happen if I go? Can they give me stronger drugs to calm me down tonight?

If anyone has any experience of this, any info would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you x

[cheepsskram]

I hope you are ok.

[AndyWarholsOrange]

Insecurely please let us know you're ok, I'm worried about you xx

[spidey66]

Ps hope you're feeling better x

[spidey66]

Insecurelyattached
I'm probably too late, but just wanted to give advice. I'm a CPN in London and have been for more years than I care to remember.
If you do get admitted to hospital (and as others have said it's not a given) it will be the one nearest the borough you live in and/or where your GP is. This is in order that the ward can tie you in with local services ASAP. So even if you go to Guys or Tommy's, and admission is deemed necessary, you will be admitted or transferred to a unit local to your home. This is how mental health services work- in a similar vein choose and book does not include mental health services. The only exceptions would be if there wasn't a bed in your local unit or you need a specialist service which may not be offered in your borough eg a secure unit, drug an alcohol detox, or a mum and baby unit.

[LadyLuck10]

Op how are you feeling today

[juliascurr]

how's it going, op?

[AndyWarholsOrange]

How are you doing today? Did you manage to get some sleep?

[AndyWarholsOrange]

Agree with Tea. I know MN has its moments but people will always get support if they need it.
Also remember that, on any of these threads, there's a whole army of lurkers who don't feel they can offer advice but are there in spirit supporting you.

[TeaAndALemonTart]

Hope you had a good sleep, never be afraid to reach out for help on here. There are some amazing mners on here.

[LatteLoverLovesLattes]

I hope you were OK through the night and sleep well for a few hours yet.

I am so sorry that you didn't have a great childhood - it's always so sad to read. There are a lot of MNers who didn't either. I don't know which sections you have 'found' on MN yet, but there are loads of different boards offering support for different things - so have a look around, or just ask if there's something in particular you want to talk about or want help with.

[AndyWarholsOrange]

Hope you are getting some sleep OP. I can't PM as on my phone but will tomorrow if that's OK. Also wanted to say that the mental health boards are very supportive with lots of very knowledgable posters. Sweet dreams xx

[Katkins1]

I've just been reading. Op valuim is a brilliant thing, sometimes. Use it if it helps and I really hope it does. You are very brave getting help, and I hope you get to see a doctor next week to get some longer term help. In the meantime, reach out and talk. On here and in rl. You are not alone.

[PowerPants]

Insecurely, you sound like a truly lovely person, you really do. I so hope you are feeling better when you wake up tomorrow. Sending you a huge hug across the Internet.

[Insecurelyattached]

Thank you so much to you all for holding my hand through this.

I have had a chat with a truly lovely MNetter, and all of the valium I took is kicking in now, so I feel extremely numbed out and no longer frightened that I will lose control tonight and do something lethal. Therefore i don't think I need hospital tonight now. If it is just as bad again tomorrow, I will go then. I kind of feel like I have my mind made up to go the next time its unbearable now that I've broached it here/ on phone.

I know the valium is not a long term solution, and I still know how much pain is right there, but I honestly can't feel it just now. It's like being at the dentist and the whole side of your face having no feeling - you know there's something very wrong causing pain enough to drive you to insanity, but for now it's frozen.

Thank you, I really mean that. Mumsnet is an amazing place, I love it, I don't even have kids yet, I joined to try to learn how to re-parent myself and learn how to be the kind of parent I want to be someday if I can.

[Bonzobodaband]

OP. Sending you lots of good wishes xx. Heartened by the kindness, concern and good advice by others. Some lovely, lovely people out there. God bless you all

[VSeth]

Just text if you want transport, sent you my number.

[bunchoffives]

Update us when you can Insecurely. Let us know how you are getting on.

[Egghead68]

Do go to King's or St. Thomas'. As others have said they will do their best to help you but they are unlikely to admit you and will go for home treatment wherever possible.

Stay safe.

[meltedmonterayjack]

You are so brave. Hope you soon get the help you need to support you through this. Hugs and .

[x2boys]

And don't worry about your job ,please mental illness is like any illness it shouldnt be treated any differently as a. Mental health professional I hope you get all the help you need during this crisis , mental health breakdowns can happen to anyone whatever their circumstances x x

[FinnsMum19]

Please keep posting OP, and get to hospital if you can. Don't be frightened, we are all with you x

[fluffydressinggown]

Just re-read what I wrote, hope it doesn't scare you, just trying to emphasise that there are alternatives to hospital. If you do get admitted IME the units were clean and I have always had my own room (with a lock on it so felt safe inside). They can be noisy and busy but there are also quiet corners and staff to help and support you.

[VSeth]

Cross post just before.

If you need transport let me know. Genuine offer.

In my history I was taken to hospital in similar circumstances and my housemates (lived in a flatshare in Ealing) never knew what was happening, no medic or health proffesional would divulge information in these circumstances.

Do you feel like you could sleep? If so do that. If you can't sleep try eating and drinking water and if you can tea with sugar. Wrap yourself in a duvet, tonight will be chilly. Crying is good, sleeping is good

[fluffydressinggown]

IME they do everything they can not to admit you, beds are scarce and accute MH wards can be very busy and scary.

Be prepared for a wait in A&E, take a book, a drink and some money for a snack or something. Oh and if you smoke take plenty of cigs. When you see the liasion team be honest with them and also tell them what you want - support at home, meds etc.

I have struggled with self harm and spent time in psychiatric units. Things can and will get better even though it seems very dark now.

Take care x