To not want this kid to poo in the cafe?

[BeyoncesCat]

Was at a cafe today and a lady pulls out a potty and allows her son shit. Just there openly not trying to hide it. The cafe was packed full of people eating too

Her friend then pulled out potty
and was going to get her
daughter on but we complaied before it happened.

The toilets were out of order however there were loos about 10 second walk outside

They both thought we were UR for suggesting they use the other toilets and we don't know how hard it is potty training twins ( we have twins in our immediate family).

One of them started crying and the shouted at us then left.

AIBU to think this disgusting and not something people want to see when trying to eat our lunch?!

[MissBattleaxe]

If your child needs a poo and you have to see to it immediately then the child is not being trained for real life. In real life, you have to hang on a few minutes until you find a toilet.

If a child thinks one word will instantly produce a magic potty then they are not being toilet trained.

I think what annoys me most about the original post is the entitlement of the parents who feel so entitled to let their children shit in a public eating area, as if their rights trump everyone else's.

[OwlCapone]

The twin comment was strange maybe she left a twin at home?

I assumed that they were boy/girl twins and the girl didn't belong to the friend.

Utterly rank anyway.

[TinyTear]

my DD can hang on a few minutes, but we do have a potette plus potty with us, and have had to leave trains to let her use the potty at the end of the platform and then put the bag in the bin and get back on the next train...

it seems like these people would have just done it on the train!!

And in the playground, i much rather my DD used the potty which I can then dispose of the contents in the bin, rather than see what other parents do and let their children pee and poo behind the trees where some of the kids like going exploring...

I have to keep my DD away from the trees as sometimes it stinks in there... i go first if she is really insistent to check there is no poo on the ground

We have had 3 accident free weeks so I think we are there, but I might still carry the potty with me for a little bit longer to be on the safe side, but 9 out of 10 times we use public toilets

[Squabblesthedog]

I had a similar thing last summer where we were out with a few other families at a covered picnic area, and no one seemed to think anything of changing nappies on the tables, albeit covered with mats and separate from food.

It was outside and not busy, but there were other people using the same shelter to, erm, eat their picnic, so I felt really uncomfortable about it. I was the only one who trudged mine away somewhere else to change them, didn't know if I was being overly fussy as everyone else seemed fine with it, but I found it embarrassing.

It's the same at people's houses, I just naturally go up and find the bathroom, even for a baby's wet nappy, nearly everyone else I have come into contact with just changes them where they are. I would say that it is more the norm and I feel the odd one for doing it differently.

[GhoulWithADragonTattoo]

I told my friend a story about how a woman had told me off for holding my 2 year old DD over a drain to wee when she was potty training and literally on the verge of wetting her pants. My friend agreed the woman was out of order and told me how she was told off for putting her DS on his potty in a cafe. I have to say I thought that was quite a lot different from what I'd done but didn't say anything to her.

I don't mind small kids having an outdoor wee as long as it's into the drain or onto soft ground and you do it as discretely as you can but a poo where people are eating is totally unhygienic.

I do think when you have small kids you do have to lose your sensibilities about bodily fluids in order to manage the basics of childcare. In some people this happens to the extent that they forgot that these things are still disgusting to normal people!

[Ronmione]

This is a portable potty with liners that my friend chooses to get out meters away from a toliet

[TinyTear]

That is the one I have ronmione
So your friend is a bit silly, as the frame can be opened up and used as a booster for an adult toilet seat. it's what I do in public toilets...

[m0therofdragons]

wow I'm currently potty training twins and have done the potty thing in car parks and the park but if there's a loo nearby we'd go there. Never in front of people in a cafe, yuk. The only time I've done it in front of people was at a child friendly festival.... queues for the loo were over 30 minutes and 2yo twins couldn't hold it that long :( yuk, yuk, yuk

[Balaboosta]

Worked with a woman, oo, fifteen years ago. announced asked if "this is a child-friendly office - ISNT IT" and then proceeded to place a potty in the centre of the office for him to sit and poo on. Then gave him all the milk in the office fridge (which we all paid for) because "he loves it so much, he only gets ORGANIC SOYA milk at home"...
The Toddler Who Came To Tea, anyone?

[SpeedofSound0]

Cafe= food= hygiene=YANBU

Poo is poo, these two women are disgusting skanks for doing this. I would have said something and complained to the manager.

Just out of interest OP, were you in an independent cafe, or a chain/supermarket-type one? I only ask because cafe chains or supermarket cafes would have told them to leave, assuming staff had got in there first before you spoke to them.

[SwearySwearyQuiteContrary]

There are places to eat and places to shit. It's not on to ask a breastfeeding mum to feed her baby in a toilet. It's not on for a parent to let their child shit in a cafe.

[plantsitter]

We'll obviously it's gross. But I think you go a bit mad when potty training as it's so awful. You sort of get inured to poo and wee and wonder why everyone is so squeamish about it.

I wasn't organised enough to have a travel potty though, so no dining table shits for us.

[browneyedgirl86]

I can't believe there is people out there gross enough to do this. It's just disgusting.

[vladthedisorganised]

Gross - YANBU.

I encountered an odd one at the park recently. DD starts playing with a 5 year old - her mum is with her, nothing unusual there.

The park has an area at the back with large bushes where people often take toddlers who are caught short and have to go NOW - but since it's in the town centre and about a minute from the public loos, it's not something I've had to do with my 4yo for some time.

Mother informs girl that they have to go home and asks if girl needs the toilet. Girl promptly goes into the bushes and has a crap, then shows DD the result with a 'this is where I always go to the toilet'.

The mother confirms this, as 'she doesn't like public toilets and it's very convenient'. For a 5 year old?? Even in the bushes, some poor sod is going to have to maintain it and be faced with piles of human shite (and the other detritus that is probably there too). It's taken me a few explanations to DD on why this is Not On in my eyes, and just because other people are encouraged to do it by their mad parents doesn't mean it's not wrong.

[ADinnerofHerbs]

Yadnu! Yuck and such lack of regard for other people. What is it with people who come to your house and cannot do as you politely suggest re changing either? A friend used to visit with her 1 year old and 2 year old and change them in my living room despite my reminding her that she was welcome to use the changing table in my son's room or the bathroom or shower room. I would then return with drinks and snacks and be gagging at the smell! And it takes alot to put me off a slice of cake!!

[Teddybeau1988]

I toilet trained both DDs with out taking a potty out with us. Although there were a few wees behind trees on dog walks with no toilets for miles.

Surely the fun of being out and about whilst toilet training is having the learn the whereabouts of every public toilet wherever you go.

OP yanbu. That's really gross and I'm surprised the cafe staff didnt throw them out.

[ShadowStar]

YANBU.

Totally disgusting to let a child use a potty in the cafe.

We do have a travel potty (currently toilet training DS1), but IMO that's for situations where a proper toilet's not nearby, like car parks. Or even for sitting them on inside toilet areas if the child refuses to use a proper toilet. Although our travel potty also folds into a booster seat for an adult toilet.

[RobbStarksBitch]

That is gross! Yadnbu! I was at work one day (well known cheap department store) and a lady starts setting up her sons potty in the middle of the children's department. She didn't think we'd mind apparently!

[Notso]

I think if you take a potty around with you then the temptation is there to use it rather than say "ok hold on we will find a toilet".

Sometimes there is need for an emergency nature wee or surprise nature poo and very occasionally we had wet pants but mostly I found they could hold on.

[YouTheCat]

When I was potty training twins, if we were going somewhere I knew toilets would be a problem, they'd be popped back in a nappy for the day. If it wasn't a very long trip, I'd just make sure we had a change of clothes with us.

It's not some mystical art. And the 'training' part is about getting them to recognise they need the lav and to be able to hold on a bit.

[TSSDNCOP]

When DS was about 2 we were in a pub restaurant having Sunday lunch. Nice restaurant, quite pricey, sort of place you treat yourself too.

Couple on the next table with toddler whip out one of those potette jobs upthread and their kid squats next to the table and drops a poo.

The toilet was next to our table!!!!

[BellaVida]

YANBU

That is utterly foul! People would soon complain if a dog came in pooped in a restaurant, so why is this any different?? It's unhygienic!

I have potty trained my own 4 which includes a set of twins and we never even took a potty out with us. Just used the nearest loos. Some people have a child and lose all sense of reality lol.

[dottytablecloth]

Dirty, filthy and disgusting.

[mrsbucketxx]

This isn't potty training is it. If a child cannot hold themselves for that amount of time. Its to early .

In a restaurant is out if order.