She's eaten all of the fecking cheese strings AGAIN!!

[KingJoffreysBloodshotEye]

DS's friend.

I gave them both enough money (£10 each) for them to get a cinema ticket and some snacks (shop on the way - not cinema food) this morning, had (large) sausage rolls and other picnic stuff in the fridge for them for lunch and she's already nagging me for more food despite me telling her that I have feck all here until my Tesco shop comes at 6pm.

Yet, she's still been into the fridge while I've been pottering around and eaten 10+ cheese strings.

I don't know how to handle this.

She'd happily eat everything in the house while my back is turned. I have told DS not to let her eat stuff without checking with me (my pizzas are pretty shit once 'someone' has eaten the entire packet of pepperami) but she still does it.

She takes stuff during the night/early in the morning too. I'll come down and find 8 yoghurts gone, that kind of thing.

I provide so much stuff when DS has guests. Always make sure there's drinks, picnic stuff, crisps, pop corn, fruit. It's not like they starve.

Would it be okay to stick a note in the fridge saying 'FECK OFF MY FOOD'? Or would that be a bit twattish?

I don't know what to do and I'm feeling a bit irritated about it.

I can't believe you haven't said a thing to her directly

Speak to her, tell her thse agre snacks for her to eat, anything else gas to last you all until next week so they aren't allowed those.

Just be clear. Sounds to me as though you have made this acceptable so she doesn't know he boundaries

Has she got worms?!

Alex, I was about to ask the same thing!

Threadworms don't make you hungry - they make you itch. Tapeworm makes you hungry. And you only have one.

Nothing went AWOL over night.

I did ask DS if there was any change from his cinema visit and he said there was but the friend spent it on a meal deal.

But she did stick to the food I gave them last night and didn't take any more after I told her/them not to. Guess that's a result.

I don't like to say anything because I had my own food issues when I was younger. My mum liked to tell me I was fat/overweight/had a big bum. I was average sized. She was very overweight. (Obviously I didn't know about 'projection' back then.

My lunch at school was a teeny sandwich when everyone else had nice full lunch boxes. At home my meals were small - 3 runner beans, 4 pieces of carrot, tiny bit of potato and one sausage - that kind of thing. I used to go to my grandmother's house and gorge on chocolate (which was all she had available, I'd happily have eaten healthier stuff) because I was hungry.

I still have this mindset that I must eat a lot while it's there as I may not get much tomorrow. I can also go for days without eating.

Funny how that stuff never leaves you.

But anyway, she stuck to what I gave her last night. Pretty pleased with that. Ridiculous that without MN that wouldn't have occurred to me. Feel weird about 'telling off' other people's children.

:)

Glad it worked.

It sounds to me like she has a genuine medical issue here, not just that she's a bit greedy or even that she's properly hungry. Even a very hungry person wouldn't scoff down 8 yogurts in one go, especially as from what you've written it sounds like she's had a decent amount of food in the preceding hours. Also, the getting up in the night to take food.

Her behaviour reminds me of a child featured in a documentary I watched a few years ago. Have a read about Prader Willi Syndrome:

www.nhs.uk/conditions/prader-willi-syndrome/Pages/Introduction.aspx

I'd be very surprised if it was Prader-Willi syndrome. People with Prader-Willi usually have learning disabilities and other issues.

I would maybe plan meals around jacket potatoes when she visits, so that you can do several toppings relatively cheaply, and she can have a 2nd potato if she's still hungry or choose which potato she wants (bigger, smaller). Maybe have a sponge pudding / custard as dessert - aim for filling, cheap meals but then no snacks apart from fruit.

I'd be annoyed about the spare money from the cinema being spent on food - it may be how you typed it, but it reads like she found there was spare money and decided "oh, I'll spend it on food for me then" when it wasn't her money to spend.

You don't have to tell her off, though, OP. You just need to tell her, although you may be a little late now. "Don't take food without asking." Also, what does your DS say about this.
They go to the cinema. There is money left over. She spends it on a meal deal. Why does he let her. Why doesn't he tell her this was YOUR money?

Only on MN can you ask a simple question about telling another child off and have to explain why a girl stays over, why you have so many snacks in the house and why you are paying for a friend of your child's cinema trip.
Outstanding stuff.

OP, if that happend here it would be immediately stopped with "Excuse me, it's impolite to help yourself in other peoples houses. Please ask me if there is something you would like".

My first thought, as somebody who has it, is bulimia. She's taking fast quantities of food that are relatively easy to get rid of. The yogurts are a big clue, because they lubricate things and don't taste horrible in reverse. Is she drinking a lot too, because that is another sign. Please OP, mention it to someone, even if you just say something like 'she's been very hungry this visit.' to her parent. I started struggling at this age and continued suffering badly into may mid to late 20's. I have recovered now, but I will never be free of it and have to keep and eye on it. It's a shit life when you are in the grip of it.

vast, not fast

This is something that really baffles me about Mumsnet - that people have other children in the house that help themselves to food

No one in my house, not even my own children are allowed to help themselves to food without asking as it might be an ingredient for something.