to not want to add my partner to my deeds?

[blueone19]

First time poster, basically i bought a house before this relationship but not DP has asked to be added on to the deeds of the home. DP does pay half of the bills as they are now but there is no mortgage as i paid house in full.

Am i being unreasonable in believing deeds should remain in my name alone for this reason?

She will be saving £650 a month, that's enough for her to get a buy to let so she has her own property. She should definitely not be put on the deeds, tbh I think she has balls of steel to even suggest it when she has contributed nothing to it. In her shoes I would be thrilled to be saving on rent every month and be happy with that.

YANBU - but if you get married it won't make any difference.

yanbu and I wouldn't do it however I can see she may want some financial security. what would happen if you were to die for example? is her name on your will? is she paying a lot of money to maintain the property, eg - if you needed a new roof would she be expected to pay half? I think she needs to look at how to make herself financially stable by saving her own money and buying a buy to let for example.

YANBU, it's your home and he benefits from less living costs.

However there was a thread recently where the man owned the house and he was declared to be all sorts for daring to protect the mortgage free property from his partner. It seems it's only suitable to do this if female.

Daisy, I think there were children involved in that thread... But there aren't here.

I wouldn't (and didn't) add someone to the deeds in your position OP.

YANBU. You'd make yourself very vulnerable doing this.

Point her in the direction of an estate agents and tell her to get an investment property of her own if she's concerned about having a property. This is nothing to do with how much you love her.

Your partner also needs to protect themself somehow, in that should you split up years down the line, you will have a house, and your partner won't, and more than that, given the inexorable rise in house prices, probably won't be able to afford to buy one either.

Your partner needs to seriously consider buying a buy to let, now. Your partner maintains and improves that, and you maintain and improve the house you both live in.

Failing that, you both need to see a solicitor and get a 'deed of trust' drawn up, that takes the value of your house now, and states that in the event of your separation, you will pay your partner half of the difference in price between now's price and that future separation date's price, if that makes sense? And then you both pay for any maintenance/improvements to your house, i.e., the house you live in.

If your partner can't afford a buy to let where you live, then look elsewhere. A cheap terrace anywhere is at least a roof over your partner's head, and some security, should you split up.

I was in your partner's position and was very concerned that I wasn't invested in the property market. My partner had basically paid off the mortgage.

We got the house valued and then agreed that we would split any increase in the value of the house if we split up. We did split up after 6 years and so my partner have me cash for my share in the increased value. It meant I had a small deposit for a flat and worked out fine for both of us.

She could save up her rent and buy 50 percent of the property from you?

No she wants a stake in the house that she has not contributed to. Wants to save )650, that's a lot. Noway.

I think the will issue is an interesting angle. Who would leave your house to?

My DCs will enter adulthood with a fair whack of cash and I often wonder how it will effect their relationships. Is like to find a way to take the option of sharing their money out of their hands as much as possible. Some sort of trust or something. The reality is that people do split up.

OP. I think I would explore ways for your DP to be able to invest in a house. She is saving £650 a month which is a lot of money. What is she currently doing with this money?

Are you planning to get married and have kids.

Might it help to get outside help and sit down and discuss and agree everything? In writing? It might be a bit clinical but at least everything would be out in the open and agreed upon. Much better than having lots of underlying 'issues'

(Sorry I mentioned having kids, I did read the OP but got carried away with my thoughts )

Is it just me that thinks the easiest option would be to say 'if you want to be on the deeds you pay half the price'

Whether you decide this is current value or the amount you have paid originally is up to you but just getting added for nothing seems a bit cheeky.

What country are you living in blueone19? For some reason I picked up that you might be in Ireland, but on re-reading I'm not sure now why I thought that.

Anyway, if you are in Ireland she would probably have a financial claim on you if you split up unless she is paying rent to you. The logic of it is that if someone receives a financial benefit from being in partnership (in your case living rent-free) then they will be entitled to get financial reparation for the loss of that benefit when the relationship breaks down. This happened to my cousin who owned her house in her own name, her partner moved in and they subsequently had DC together. She paid the mortgage and most of the bills, and as well as living there he used one room of the house for business purposes to see clients. When they split up she ended up having to give him a really hefty sum to cover both his rent and the cost of renting a business premises for something like two years.

They pay half the electricity because they use half the electricity, half the gas bill because they use half the gas, half the tv licence because they watch the tv half the time, HD the phone bill because the use the phone/Internet.

Basically, they pay half the bills because they use half of the utilities.
They don't pay half the mortgage because there is no mortgage. They don't pay anything into the equity of the property so why do they thing they should have their name on the deeds and be entitled to half of the value?

Tell them to open a savings account and start paying that £650 that they will no longer be paying on rent, that can be their equity.

Either that or they can pay you £650 a month in rent and if you sell or move they can have whatever they paid you back from the equity of the house.
It's exactly the same result, they are just using you as the savings account.

Def shouldn't go on the deeds.

However, she shouldn't pay for any capital items in the house either. So any new bathrooms, roof repairs etc need to come from the owners pocket.

Saving rent each month is great, and she should use that to invest in property or elsewhere as she sees fit.

I never post on AIBU posts but I had to post on this one.

YADefNBU - Don't do it. I moved into my now DH's house when we first lived together and I stated from the outset that I would never contribute towards his mortgage as it was his house which he built up a lot of equity in. I had my own property which I rented out for a while, in case we did not last, and once I sold that I started saving quite heftily so that I had some money behind me to put into our new house.

Even after we married I still refused to pay towards the mortgage until we bought a house together and even now DH pays the mortgage and I make an over payment every month to try and reduce our mortgage as quickly as possible. This works for us because I am now pregnant and when I go on mat leave I will not be able to afford to pay the overpayment.

Don't do it - it would be a big mistake.

As long as you arent pooling your combined money and budgetting in a way that leaves her unable to save money, then YANBU

Another one saying YANBU. She is definitely taking the piss here.

Buy a property together then rent yours out as a let to buy.

No no no no no. Wow, what a cheek! An offer of living rent free and saving £650 a month - she should be biting your hand off not trying to get more.
She is already getting more financially than you out of this arrangement (assuming her paying half the bills won't save you £650 a month) - i realise relationships shouldn't necessarily be about separate finances but given that you are not married and have no children, the fact that she is profiting to the tune of such a decent amount each month by your decision to move in together whereas you are presumably not, doesn't in itself seem fair before you even add the question of putting her on the deeds.

I don't really understand the point of her being left with nothing if the relationship finishes as she will not be left with nothing having had the ability to save £650 a month. She is therefore significantly better off than she is before moving in with the OP even if the relationship does end.

That said I can understand her wanting some financial security and there have been some good ideas on here. Given she will be saving a fair amount it shouldn't take her long to save her own deposit. If you were willing to allow her to buy in to your house, then depending on your house price, I would have thought unless your house is worth ££££, her mortgage payments would be less than £650 a month anyway so she would still be better off than renting. Especially when you take into account that she will be able to benefit from decent interest rates given that the LTV would only be 50%. Again, something else I would bite your hand off for.

Nothing to do with gender - I would advise man, woman or hamster in the same situation to not sign over their house in these circumstances in a million years.