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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think it's ok to knock on a neighbours door and ask for a cup of coffee?

42 replies

fluffyduffydoo · 17/08/2014 20:20

Yesterday a new neighbour moved into the flat next door to mine.

He knocked on my door at 4.30pm with a cup in his hand, introduced himself and explained that he'd got beer as a thank you for his friends who had helped move his stuff in (there were about 5 people) but he forgot about the driver and didn't have coffee,milk, sugar in so would it be possible for me to make a cup of coffee for the driver

Not a problem at all in my mind, so made a coffee and gave them a few biscuits however I've spoken to a couple of people today and they seem to think that the neighbour was overstepping the mark and shouldn't have knocked on my door to ask for a cup of coffee without knowing me?

Oh and if he's knocking on your door for a cup of coffee he's sussing out if your a soft touch and will be asking for money off you by Monday

Who is being unreasonable personally I think it's them

OP posts:
Sirzy · 17/08/2014 20:22

I would have done the same as you, with an offer that if when he is settled in he wants to come back you will make him a coffee.

Its only a cup of coffee but its a good way of building a good relationship with your neighbour

PenisesAreNotPink · 17/08/2014 20:22

It would be fine with me but I live in a naice road.

If it happened on the estate I lived on before they'd have been round bumming fags and beer off you within hours Grin

Rokenswife · 17/08/2014 20:23

I think them too! It's exactly the attitude my DH has - thinking that everybody has some sort of hidden agenda and it drives me crazy.

Tikimon · 17/08/2014 20:23

Slippery Slope Fallacy

If you wanted to give him a cup of coffee, then that's fine. It's when you say no and they don't accept it that it's a problem.

At least you know if you run out of sugar or eggs, you have a neighbor to run to in a pinch. Wink

callamia · 17/08/2014 20:23

Sounds fine, and quite sweet.
It sounds like he might be a nice person to have living next door.

Dontlaugh · 17/08/2014 20:23

It's a cup of coffee, not the deeds to your house. Of course you were right to give it to him!
Why on earth wouldn't you? If he does indeed ask "for money by Monday" THEN you can say no.

Salmotrutta · 17/08/2014 20:26

YANBU!

He sounds like a nice chap who just forgot to buy some coffee.

starlight1234 · 17/08/2014 20:26

I think the people you have spoke to are cynical and part the reason why there is less community spirit. If you can't ask for a cup of coffee without a hidden agenda.

morethanpotatoprints · 17/08/2014 20:26

I would have done it without thinking anything negatively and I agree with building relationships with neighbours. You never know when you might need them too.
Could this person have just been joking with you?

morethanpotatoprints · 17/08/2014 20:31

Forgot to say, it used to be the way you met your next lover according to the adverts "Gold Blend" anyone?

I can remember the lines, how Sad

I am holding a dinner party and seemed to have run out of coffee, I don't suppose....

Hey watch out OP, if you are single he could be the next Grin

Please somebody see if they can link to a clip, my stupid lap top won't let me.

nocoolnamesleft · 17/08/2014 20:32

Nice way to break the ice...if he were dodgy, I think he'd have wandered off with your cup, rather than bringing his own. Probably...

Trills · 17/08/2014 20:33

:o at the Gold Blend advert.

Did he look like Giles?

Original poster
fluffyduffydoo · 17/08/2014 20:42

I think the problem is I'm now in a council flat highrise, due to homelessness from unexpected advents

And whilst my friends and family are mostly working class they are prejudiced about the 'type' of people who would live here despite the fact me and DC live here

I think it's actually a normal thing to knock on your neighbours door when you first move in

OP posts:
muffliato · 17/08/2014 20:43

I would have done the same as you. It's nice to be able to get on with your neighbours. Not everyone has an agenda.

ThatBloodyWoman · 17/08/2014 20:46

Sounds fine and a great ice breaker.

MrsWinnibago · 17/08/2014 20:48

I think that's perfectly fine! He wasn't asking for your daughter and a bag of heroin.

WhatDidYouJustSay · 17/08/2014 21:00

I would have happily made him a coffee too.

Primadonnagirl · 17/08/2014 21:06

Perfectly fine... as the opening scene to a porn film Grin

WhatDidYouJustSay · 17/08/2014 21:10

Lol

Cyclebump · 17/08/2014 21:10

Our downstairs neighbour and I take each others deliveries, swap things like coffee and DS (3) is always knocking to say hello (and get a biscuit from the pack lovely neighbour buys in specifically for him).

Lovely neighbours are a wonderful thing.

Chrysanthemum5 · 17/08/2014 21:11

Sounds fine to me. I live in a quiet street and when new neighbours arrive everyone pops round to say hello, and offer a hand.

BackforGood · 17/08/2014 21:21

Well I think it's normal / nice / neighbourly, and it would certainly happen around here, but I read a LOT of things on MN that do often make me think I live in a parallel world from some posters Smile

Purplepoodle · 17/08/2014 21:25

It's a cup of coffee not a kidney. I'd say it's fine. IMF he asks for more stuff you can just say no.

Purplepoodle · 17/08/2014 21:26

Plus he sounds nice trying to make sure the driver got a drink too

evelynj · 17/08/2014 21:29

I think that's lovely. Would be delighted in the unlikely event that any of my naice neighbours tried to be neightbourly. We should totally be rebuilding communities. There's nothing nicer than living somewhere where people are decent rather than constantly thinking people are out to get them. It's sad.