AIBU to request my OH just shuts the f**k up during my programmes?!

[Y0rkshirePudding]

I swear he's driving me bonkers with this... I don't watch much on tv. Its usually taken over by cbeebies (by 2 yr old ds), by crap films on netflix (by 13 yr old dss) or boxing/motor racing on sports channels, storage hunters, sin city motors and various othrt mind-numbing mens sh*t (by OH). So I have to catch up on the few programmes I like on catch-up tv in between everyone else...

I don't ask for much, I'd just actually like to WATCH and HEAR these programmes when I get the rare bloody opportunity to have the privilege of watching tv. But will OH let me without rattling on and ON and OOOON all the way through EVERY GOD DAMN PROGRAMME about total bllcks that I could not give a flamin' frig about - NO he bleedin' well won't.

So this evening after settling down to a crime documentary I was interested to watch, OH decides he's going to yap on and laugh constantly about a police detective looking like Gary Linekars even uglier brother... So I snapped and told him to just shut the f**k up and just let me watch one bloody programme without this inane shit for once!

He did shut up... he flounced off upstairs and I haven't seen him since lol. I don't feel guilty though. I dont do it through his programmes. And I know it was harsh, but Christ almighty, put a sock in it man! I've asked him politely on many previous occasions but he just keeps doing it.

AIBU?

Oh my, this thread has tapped into a deep well of rage.

If we are talking and he seems to be listening, having initiated the conversation, but there happens to be a sport (any sport, even bog snorkelling or tiddlywinks or banana juggling) on TV...even if he is not interested in the sport he will roar instructions at the TV in the middle of me talking.

It seems that me stopping talking, lancing him with the glare of doom and, if he continues, simply leaving the room is very unreasonable.

I cannot fathom where (some) men get their entitled, couch commando, remote control hogging, TV fixated bullshit from, but I would happily take the plug off every TV in the house.

For me it wouldnt matter what the show is, its the total lack of respect that pisses me off. I make a point of not talking over other peoples programmes but it seems they dont care enough to not talk over mine.

DD is a particular pita for doing this and really gets arsey if you pull her up on it, yet disturb her and the world is ending.

The same with him not listening, I get the same. He can repeat every word back to me but the next day will argue until he is blue in the face that we havent discussed it.

It says "You are not important enough to me to listen to or care about", and is one of the reasons I am considering seeing a solicitor next week :(

Hi OP, I have the opposite problem as my h hardly speaks to me at all (), TV on or not. However that YouTube film is and not funny!

YABU - my husband is the same.

I have three main tactics I use, none of which are successful:

1. Pause the the tv. Look pointedly at him until he has finished telling me what cannot possibly wait. Ask if he has finished? Play programme.

2. Pause tv. Listen. Say "that was very interesting, I'm looking forward to understanding the link between that and cake because I know you wouldn't interrupt GBBO to tell me an unrelated story about cars."

3. Pause tv. Listen. Look grumpy. Offer to get him a notebook so he can write down his thoughts and we can discuss them after the programme.

It doesn't work though - he still yabbers away

Arrghh - YANBU - obviously!

This posting has touched a deep well of resentment in my soul ! So glad my DH is not the only one to do this .Men are definitely " couch commandos " as some smart poster pointed out.
Few years ago FIL and DH went into FIL' s study to do computer type things , leaving me alone to watch tv. I was feeling pretty pissed off anyway as they had been " busy " all day leaving me marooned in fil's house ( which is miles from anywhere ) whilst they did DIY etc. So, settled down to watch a film ... which was really good . After an a hour or so they both deigned to join me and FIL started talking really loudly ... I ignored him. He then said loudly " ah, the rugby is on now " and approached the remote . My DH ( bless him ) took one look at my face and dragged his dad off to the kitchen to watch the rugby on the portable . He also brought me a chocolate eclair and a glass of Prosecco . This is why I am still with him.. .. in spite of all his faults !!!

FIL also once got up at the end of an evening's viewing , turned off the tv and announced he was off to bed . He turned off the living room lights as he left the room, leaving my poor MIL sitting in the dark , totally bemused . Good job I wasn't there ....

Luckily he's not into footy thank the Lord, otherwise I would have to reconsider marrying him next yr!

However he is a big car fanatic and likes motor sports and likes any tv progs involving cats (top gear, sin city motors, chop shop, BTCC etc). I don't begrudge this at all. He's more than entitled to an interest/hobby. I don't share this hobby though, but he thinks I should. Im constantly tutted at if I say im not bothered about a car that hes drooling over... to me cars are just for getting to places I can't walk to, and the cheaper I can do this for the better. I appreciate some cars are nice and some are quite ugly. But we're not millionaires that can take their pick and stick twos up to however many litres of petrol it guzzles in a simple trip to the supermarket. Therefore I don't give a shit.

But his dad is a footy fan, and despite knowing my OH couldn't care less he still after 30 odd years still ttiez to talk to him about it. So I politely remi d him of tjis when he does it to me with cars... it doesn't work though

God that you tube video - Is he 13?
Although DP is just as bad really - a few years ago someone gave him their old phone - they hadn't cleared it and it had a stupid song (not a video - think it was a ring tone) on it - went like something like 'olly olly olly, tits in the trolley, balls in the biscuit tin, sitting on the grass with a finger up my ass' - he thought it was hilarious...and didn't delete it.

Then he let DD1 (then 9-10ish) play with his phone - of course she found it - I grabbed it off her so she didn't hear the whole thing. I was furious and he thought it was funny and was laughing at me for overreacting! And he still didn't delete it... and later found she had heard it all - not sure if on the sneak or DP had played it to let her...

Foxsticks I think your error is in listening to him at all. In each of the examples you give of trying to deal with his yammering over your programme, you stop what you are doing and listen to him. Even if you do it grumpily, he gets the response he wants, which is attention...like a child.

I actually find this behaviour quite disrespectful. My dh tries it on sometimes too, and I say something like "dh...I want to watch this, but you keep talking over it. This is not Butlins, and I am not an entertainment officer. Please stop it."
He usually says "sorry" and looks a bit sheepish, before retreating back to his PC to leave me in peace.

If you can say something like that to your dh, and then still have him continue to disturb you with pish, then I think your problems run deeper than having a chatty man about the place.

Um, he sounds a bit of a dimwit, to be honest. Is he?

We're not too bad although apparently I'm always asking her "who's that, why did he do that" etc. during Corro which drives her mad.

My bugbear is that without fail, at the crucial point in a sentence - whether funny, sad or critical to the plot she'll let out a bloody great smokers cough.

If it's on Netflix I'll rewind to see what I've missed, but if it's on "normal" TV I'm scuppered & spend the next 5 minutes trying to work out what I missed....

It's like she does it on purpose.....

And yes omg at that video.
Ok then.

Bogey, my dd is the same. Fine for her to put on her headphones and then guffaw loudly through anything I am watching but god help me if I dare to utter a word during something she is watching. I do it more to piss her off.

Dp does like to talk through things but it's not a constant stream and is usually because something reasonably important has popped into his mind. He does the describing what has happened thing (even though I'm watching too) but I think that's a throwback to when he spent a lot of time with his mum who has sight problems.

Lol RiverTam - no he's not a dimwit. Which is why it annoys me even more. Hes actually quite a bright man, respectful to me in all other areas of our relationship mainly, works hard, is a good father, holds strong morals and principles. But he just can't seem to shake off this childish side that enjoys winding people up and annoying them. I know he does it more when he knows it gets on my nerves. But eventually I tire of it and really snap at him quite abruptly. Then he sulks and says I speak to him like crap/ a child sometimes. But speaking to him like an adult just causes him to behave more childishly so what do I do.

You could try my stop what you're doing and get out of my face nuclear option phrase :

' sense the tone DH, sense the fucking tone '

It indicates nicely when the line he is not meant to cross is actually behind him.

Littlegreyauditor - it still wouldn't do any good. My annoyance, in whatever tone, just ignites further 'winding up' until I explode.

He treats me like he used to treat his older sister when they were growing up. Hes told me before that she was easy to wind up, and the more she became annoyed the more he'd do it because he thought it was the height if hilarity. And a couple of months ago after amother row about his childish behaviour I pointed this out. And that if he see's me like a big sister to just play jokes on then we have no future as a couple. Because quite frankly I find it difficult to then be intimate eith him - because there's nothing less attractive and unsexy about a man who behaves like your annoying little brother!

This seemed to flick a switch in his brain for a while and he promised to stop doing it. But several weeks passed and that conversation has become so distant hes forgotten about it, and slowly but surely the rows have started up again.

Now it seems we will have to have this conversation again tonight...

I had forgotten the "quick, look at this You Tube clip" bit. Or even worse, if I'm looking at You Tube for some reason (rare) he'll come over and say, "start it again"

No, YOU have your own fucking laptop. Use the little keys and find it yourself! He only seems to watch his own laptop when I've settled down to listen to something on the radio, cuppa to hand, comfy and suddenly "BLAHH!" and he's watching something on You Tube at full fucking volume

Sometimes ripping his arm off and beating him with the bloody end sounds like a very reasonable plan.

OP he sounds a bit of an arse to be honest. And not very nice.
I know you say he's wonderful, fantastic, bright and fabulous...but what you're actually describing is a person who gets pleasure and amusement from winding you up until you're upset and angry. The more upset you get, the better he likes it.

This is nothing to do with his sense of humour, but indulging a cruel streak that gets sated by bullying you into a state of distress!

Interesting that he should have subjected his sister to the same - he's a coward as well. As most bullies are.

What a dick.

As for his bum-bum-titty-titty-poohead rubbish - words fail me.
Plank.

Its a fact then - its clearly the male chromosome... mainly (I see there is a small minority of women letting the side down!)

I wonder if DNA technology can advance enough one day so that when men (mainly) get to, say 21, the juvenile part of their DNA can be extracted and we can all live in harmony... and I can finally watch a full fuckin episode of corrie!!

I do exactly what funkycoldribena does back on page 1. With a big sigh I pause the programme, stare blankly, wait for a finish, turn around and press play. Make a big show of it and they soon get the message.

It's not the male chromosome - it's rampant arseholery, that applies to him.

okay, he's not a dimwit, he's just very juvenile. Oh, and not a male chromosone, just an idiot one.

I don't think I could put up with any of that for a day, left alone a marriage!

YANBU. DP does this too. I never talk during rugby as I know he likes it yet as soon as Corrie comes on, which is one of the few programmes I likes, he feels the need to tell me that his parents next door neighbours have just purchased a new lawnmower or something equally boring