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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I grounded my 10 year old daughter for a month for kicking her brother in the groin

108 replies

TiffanyG · 14/08/2014 07:48

So my 10 year old daughter and 13 year old son were arguing over their favorite chair and it got pretty heated. She's slapped him and pulled his hair before, but tonight she kicked him in the groin as hard as she could. He was on the floor for quite a while and he's still pretty sore. I'm scared she could make him sterile if she did that again so I grounded her for a month. AIBU?

OP posts:

Original poster

TiffanyG · 14/08/2014 08:16

It depends, honestly. She was just tired from practice and wanted to sit down and watch TV, so when her brother got up from the chair to get something to drink, she took it and that's when the argument started

OP posts:

MrsBungle · 14/08/2014 08:16

I think I would stick with a month and give her the chance to earn some time back. I don't agree at all with the posters saying you've been way too harsh. I totally disagree that your son is responsible for being assaulted by his sister!

Original poster

TiffanyG · 14/08/2014 08:18

I just know how fragile a male's testicles are and I would like to stop this from happening again. I can't have my son being a eunuch because of another argument

OP posts:

3stripesandout · 14/08/2014 08:22

My friends son had this happen to him at school (yr8).

The girl was excluded for 5 days and police went round and scared the crap out of her. Girls need to be taught they can't just attack males with impunity!

ChasedByBees · 14/08/2014 08:23

I think you need the punishment to metaphorically hurt OP as the others have said.

DepressedMom · 14/08/2014 08:23

He should have accepted that she was now sitting there, in our house if you get up and somebody else sits there it is tough unless you need to sit there - we only have one chair near the power socket for charging a laptop.
However her response was totally unacceptable and it's her responsibility not his.

PoppyAmex · 14/08/2014 08:25

"I think I would stick with a month and give her the chance to earn some time back."

I agree.

I would come down like a ton of bricks on this type of violent behaviour; "ott" is exactly what I'd be aiming for (especially considering she's been aggressive before).

Goldmandra · 14/08/2014 08:26

The punishment isn't too harsh. I don't think anyone is saying that. It's just too long and drawn out to be effective and will affect everyone's quality of life for a whole month.

It would be better to give out a shorter, more severe sanction, perhaps combined with her brother having priority over her on having the chair for a while. You can present this as a natural consequence of her assaulting him, i.e. you can't be trusted to negotiate about the chair in a safe manner, therefore I have made the decision about who gets it.

She certainly needs to know how unacceptable this is.

PureMorning · 14/08/2014 08:26

If your son had kicked her in the vagina or punched her in the face I think you'd be getting different responses

^^
This.

Siblings fight but this is beyond a lityle scrap. Physical violence isnt acceptable.

Original poster

TiffanyG · 14/08/2014 08:28

I think I can teach her how wrong what she did was. She does love her brother, after all is said and done. Once my husband and I were play fighting and I gave him a light hit to the groin. After seeing him bend over in pain for a couple of minutes I never did that again

OP posts:

TobyZiegler · 14/08/2014 08:28

You need to have a talk with her. Explain (she's 10 so in a way you feel you can). That her reproductive organs are inside her and protected, explain that her brother's aren't and that she has hurt him and he is very sore. Make her realise she can't kick him like that. Make her regret it by explaining how painful it is. Then ground her for a week. (A month is too long and you won't stick to it, making the punishment useless).

Waltermittythesequel · 14/08/2014 08:30

Stick to the month because backing down but I agree about letting her earn time back.

And I certainly wouldn't be letting her sit in that chair for a while!

HumblePieMonster · 14/08/2014 08:32

Your over-concern for your son's 'fragile testicles' suggests a deep-seated favouritism.

You should have provided enough seating for your daughter not to need to fight for a place to sit down.

However, your daughter was wrong to deliberately kick her brother.

A month is a long time. Maybe allow her to earn her way out of some of it by good behaviour?

And get more chairs.

LingDiLong · 14/08/2014 08:36

I agree it's not about it being too harsh a punishment, it's about it not being an effective punishment. Short and sharp would be more effective imo.

Waltermittythesequel · 14/08/2014 08:38

Your over-concern for your son's 'fragile testicles' suggests a deep-seated favouritism.

You should have provided enough seating for your daughter not to need to fight for a place to sit down.

Are you joking?!

ICanSeeTheSun · 14/08/2014 08:39

What is so special about this chair.

I used to hate the unwritten rule that on your feet loose your seat. I find it disrespectful that at home you can leave your seat.

Stick to the punishment and during that time not allowed on the chair.

backwardpossom · 14/08/2014 08:42

^Your over-concern for your son's 'fragile testicles' suggests a deep-seated favouritism.

You should have provided enough seating for your daughter not to need to fight for a place to sit down.^

backwardpossom · 14/08/2014 08:42

Aargh, formatting fail...

GnomeDePlume · 14/08/2014 08:45

I think a good biology lesson is needed. No pussy footing around and explaining gently. At 10 a bit of scaring her will go a long way. She probably doesnt realise her own strength in that a badly aimed blow could permanent injure or even kill. Up until now she will have not been strong enough to really do damage. She is now strong enough.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 14/08/2014 08:45

A eunuch? Really?

Alisvolatpropiis · 14/08/2014 08:48

Yanbu

Humble that post of yours is at best a bit odd.

capant · 14/08/2014 08:49

She was in the wrong and a punishment needs to happen.

But there is a lot of hyperbole about how fragile testicles are. A 10 year old kicking a boy in the groin will not cause him to die.

Notso · 14/08/2014 08:54

If your son had kicked her in the vagina or punched her in the face I think you'd be getting different responses

I don't think so. A months grounding for kicking someone in the vulva or testicles is just too long to be effective is all.

Pyjamaramadrama · 14/08/2014 08:54

Wow, I can't believe that you are getting so many yabu. What she did was dreadful.

Hitting is an absolute no no. Surely you don't not carry out a punishment just because it's difficult.

Although I'd be tempted to say a week, no TV, no computer iPad, no favourite chair, no treats or anything.

She is plenty old enough to know not to hit.

capant · 14/08/2014 08:55

Serious groin injuries are dangerous for both females and males because of the risk of damage to the pelvic bone and surrounding bones. In rare cases a testicle can be ruptured causing infertility. But actually the risk of damage to the pelvic bone and surrounding bones is far greater than the risk of a testicle rupturing.

The groin is a vulnerable area for both sexes. Just explain that to her.

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