Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to babysit again?

67 replies

ThistleDoMeNicely · 14/08/2014 00:01

I look after my friends child quite a lot.

Have a family event this weekend that I can't take DD to and months ago asked friend to babysit to which she agreed.

Spoke to friend a few weeks ago to ask if all was still ok and she said that she would let me know and not heard a thing since. Text again a couple of days ago and nada.

I don't expect her to look after my DD turn for turn. This is a one off and I genuinely have never felt taken loan of with the amount I babysit for her but I'm pretty annoyed that 1. She first said yes so I confirmed my attendance and then flaked a bit with the oh I'll let you know and 2. That she hasn't let me know for certain.

Wibu to just say no to babysitting for her in future?

OP posts:
cookiefiend · 14/08/2014 00:11

YANBU. She is taking advantage if you.

stayingdry · 14/08/2014 00:11

tell her exactly what you say in your post 1st thing tomorrow. honest and truthful, no problems then.

Cheeky76890 · 14/08/2014 00:25

Carry on with the arrangements unless she says no. So turn up, give her the child, attend the function.

Afterwards do much less babysitting.

Justpickone · 14/08/2014 00:27

Do you need to travel for the function?
I'd be tempted to ask along the lines of specific times she's arriving so you can book a taxi, something like that.

ICanSeeTheSun · 14/08/2014 00:50

First your op, yanbu it seems like she is taking you for a ride.

Can I ask why your dd can go to a family event and one you have to RSVP to. This would be total alien to my family.

NameChanged1967 · 14/08/2014 00:50

Go round in person and get an answer face to face.

mimishimmi · 14/08/2014 01:40

If she won't babysit for you, I'd definitely be too busy to do it for her in future if I were you. If she's just flaky about responding but still does the favour, I'd leave her in the lurch until the last minute next time too Grin

BitOutOfPractice · 14/08/2014 01:44

ICanSeeTheSun

Hen night?
Wedding evening reception with no child policy?
Funeral wake?
Posh dinner at a restaurant where dd would not feel comfortable?
Concert that family member is playing in that needs total silence?
Function in a pub that will not allow kids?

Shall I go on? Grin

NameChanged1967 · 14/08/2014 06:57

It's the fact that she's not let you know there's a problem that's the main issue. Yes plans can change and something's come up that means she's no longer available but she should have told you so you could make alternative plans.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 14/08/2014 07:46

She's probably just forgotten to reply. Give her a call and check she's still available.

Balaboosta · 14/08/2014 08:32

She's probably going to do it. I'd only get upset if she said no in the end.

expatinscotland · 14/08/2014 08:36

Call her or go round. She says no, NO more babysitting.

Original poster
ThistleDoMeNicely · 14/08/2014 09:39

I just feel a bit awkward about asking again.

Yes I have to travel (it's 2 hours away so no taxi and my attendance determines number of cars travelling also). It's an evening meal for a big birthday at a very fancy venue. Not a place for toddlers.

OP posts:
stayingdry · 14/08/2014 09:48

why feel awkward about asking againHmm
its obviously worrying you, one phone call and you know where you are, sortedGrin don't see thr problem, why put yourself through this?

Annarose2014 · 14/08/2014 09:48

You'll have to text again, I'm afraid. I'm presuming there's no-one else who can babysit? If thats the case you just have to have a brass neck and text a bright and breezy "Hiya, have to leave on Saturday by 4.30 - will that time suit you? Tks hun!" Leave it until closer to the weekend to text so you look like you're just presuming its all fine.

If she doesn't respond to something like that, then she's being a rotten friend and the friendship is dead in the water anyway.

Original poster
ThistleDoMeNicely · 14/08/2014 10:02

Rang her she said she forgot and not possible Hmm

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 14/08/2014 10:04

She's got a helluva cheek. No more sitting for her. No is a complete sentence.

Next time she asks, you reply, 'No, not available.' Over and over.

Sounds like a flaky user rather than a mate.

WanderingTrolley1 · 14/08/2014 10:05

Sounds like she had no intentions of babysitting from the get-go!

I'd definitely make myself too busy too babysit for her in future.

Tinkerball · 14/08/2014 10:05

Well you know what to say now I suppose when she asks you to babysit " sorry it's not possible".

rollonthesummer · 14/08/2014 10:14

When have you been babysitting for her? Evenings? After school? How does she ask you-text or a regular weekly arrangement?

Original poster
ThistleDoMeNicely · 14/08/2014 10:18

She has just text me basically saying she's been offered a shift at work and needs the cash and she's really sorry. (Fine I understand that, although wish she'd just been upfront) and if I catch her wage she'll watch DD instead Shock

I've never asked for money when looking after her child. Not for outing we go on, the food she eats. Anything actually. We are both single parents so I absolutely get that it's hard when you're skint but seriously? That's fucking cheeky isn't it?

OP posts:
GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 14/08/2014 10:18

Very mean of her to let you down without good reason and good notice. I wouldn't babysit for her again.

Original poster
ThistleDoMeNicely · 14/08/2014 10:18

Match*

OP posts:
Original poster
ThistleDoMeNicely · 14/08/2014 10:20

Rollon, it's been mix of all of them. I used to watch her every Monday 8-6 then it's now about 2 or 3 overnights a month while she works. Occasionally do a night for a night out for her or a day here and there when her nursery is closed.

OP posts:
Catsize · 14/08/2014 10:21

Why am I cynical about the shift at work thing?...
I would be fuming.

Swipe left for the next trending thread