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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to babysit again?

67 replies

ThistleDoMeNicely · 14/08/2014 00:01

I look after my friends child quite a lot.

Have a family event this weekend that I can't take DD to and months ago asked friend to babysit to which she agreed.

Spoke to friend a few weeks ago to ask if all was still ok and she said that she would let me know and not heard a thing since. Text again a couple of days ago and nada.

I don't expect her to look after my DD turn for turn. This is a one off and I genuinely have never felt taken loan of with the amount I babysit for her but I'm pretty annoyed that 1. She first said yes so I confirmed my attendance and then flaked a bit with the oh I'll let you know and 2. That she hasn't let me know for certain.

Wibu to just say no to babysitting for her in future?

OP posts:
picnicbasketcase · 14/08/2014 10:22

Never ever make yourself available to help her out again. Forgot, my foot. You've contacted her in between asking and now to confirm and it's been ignored. Some people are just all take.

ajandjjmum · 14/08/2014 10:24

Has she ever babysat your DC in return?

YouTheCat · 14/08/2014 10:26

Definitely no more favours for her. What a user!

Original poster
ThistleDoMeNicely · 14/08/2014 10:26

She's babysat about 4 times. Once overnight twice during the day and once for a couple of hours while I attended a hospital appointment.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 14/08/2014 10:26

No, no more sitting for her. She's a pisstaker. You are her free, go to childcare. Yet you ask once and she wants paying. Says it all, really.

Just be busy from now on.

Original poster
ThistleDoMeNicely · 14/08/2014 10:29

It's a shame cause the kids love the time together and I enjoy it too but it would now leave a bitter taste I think.

I can't believe she actually asked me to cover her pay. I completely understand that work comes first but just wished she'd dropped me a line and said I'm really sorry but I'm skint and I'm going to have to work.

OP posts:
MrsHathaway · 14/08/2014 10:30

I think this is horrible. You have regularly saved her £30-40 by sitting her daughter for nothing.

I am also a great believer in the "one excuse" rule. One excuse sounds plausible, but as you add more it sounds more and more suspicious.

"I forgot ... and anyway I never got your text ... and I meant to reply to it but an EAGLE SWOOPED DOWN AND BIT OFF MY TEXTING THUMB."

YouTheCat · 14/08/2014 10:31

So you've done every Monday and some over nights and she's babysat 4 times?

Unless you can find someone to cover at short notice I doubt you'll be getting to go out. Bloody awful for you being let down.

I'd text her and let her know not to bother asking you to babysit in future, because she will ask or she will assume you'll be available on Monday.

expatinscotland · 14/08/2014 10:31

You had to hound her together an answer. Some friend.

expatinscotland · 14/08/2014 10:33

I'd tell her used and let down I felt and not to expect any more babysitting in the future. Forgot, my arse. She ignored you and then tried to use you some more. What a bitch.

Original poster
ThistleDoMeNicely · 14/08/2014 10:33

The regular Monday stopped a few months ago so I'm just going to leave it till she next asks.

Just away to ring organiser to tell them I can't go as I don't have anyone else I would ask.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 14/08/2014 10:35

Just keep refusing her.

WanderingTrolley1 · 14/08/2014 10:39

What a shame.

I would let her know how she's let you down.

PeterGriffinsPenisBeaker · 14/08/2014 10:41

Oh, she's going to be pissed (and screwed) when you refuse! Serves her right, the cheeky mare. I can't understand why people are shitty enough to let others down when they've been helped so much in the past.

I wouldn't put myself out for her ever again. Hope you get sorted.

Original poster
ThistleDoMeNicely · 14/08/2014 10:45

I'm not responding. She can figure it out herself or chase for an answer to not get one.

Sad thing is if she said she was really skint before I would have offered to lend her some cash to tide her over. I'm disappointed that a 12 year friendship has come to this.

OP posts:
eddielizzard · 14/08/2014 10:45

i agree she had no intention of babysitting for you. totally taking advantage.

no, i would not be babysitting again. i might have her dd for a couple of hours at my convenience, during the day, if my child were missing her, but otherwise it would be a flat NO.

and certainly no overnights.

Original poster
ThistleDoMeNicely · 14/08/2014 10:47

Aaaaw family member who's meal out it is has just phoned and said he'd rather have his family there than go to the posh place and invited me and DD. I told him not to be daft but he has said he's already booked new child friendly venue Smile Smile

OP posts:
asmallandnoisymonkey · 14/08/2014 10:51

That's lovely of him! I'm glad you can both go! Shame about your 'friend' though. Some people really are just that selfish :(

ajandjjmum · 14/08/2014 10:55

That's just lovely - sad it's taken a shitty friend to get there - but you're obviously well loved by your family! Have a great night.

Original poster
ThistleDoMeNicely · 14/08/2014 10:58

It is and I'm very glad that I can still go to see him and celebrate

OP posts:
ICanSeeTheSun · 14/08/2014 11:09

Awww that's nice, will admit I was just being noisy last night.

Cheeky76890 · 14/08/2014 11:10

That's awful that she's agreed to it, then said she didn't know, then left it to last minute to get back to you (when you needed to make arrangements) and then asked for money.

Can you text her and say 'you did say you could have her originally, it's very last minute to arrange other babysitters now. I'm surprised and hurt you have asked for cash, I've never done that to you!'

Original poster
ThistleDoMeNicely · 14/08/2014 11:14

To be honest I don't want to respond.

I think I'm more tempted to work out a rough estimate of the times I've looked after her daughter and draft an invoice with a deduction for the weekend and ask her to settle the bill within 30 days Grin

OP posts:
Cheeky76890 · 14/08/2014 11:15

Sorry slow reading. Great to hear you can both go.

You really mustn't sit for her again.

Cheeky76890 · 14/08/2014 11:15

I like your style!

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