...to not find this funny?

[Mindyourownb]

Long time lurker! Been meaning to write this for a couple of weeks now.

I am pregnant with my first baby, a girl, due in December.

I work directly opposite my manager in a small office (other colleagues all in a large, open-plan space directly outside our office. Starting to get incredibly hacked off with manager constantly making remarks about how squeamish she is about my pregnancy ("eww can see your stomach move" "hummus, eww, is that a craving?" etc etc). I have been experiencing really bad sickness and she is apparently severely phobic of sickness and will constantly say "eww the thought of throwing up makes me ill"..I go to great lengths to vomit in secret, armed with toothbrush etc out of respect but I really do not need to hear these constant comments.

She notices EVERYTHING, it's bizarre, nothing more repulsive than someone with whom you are not close commenting on how big my boobs are. Just generally don't want to hear every 5 minutes how repulsive she finds pregnancy when I am quite a private person and always endeavour not to bore people with accounts of personal things.

It is just exhausting. Is this something you have to just take on the chin though?? The constant negativity is killing me!!!

Start telling her how repulsive you find her various habits.

Sounds like a touch of jealousy?

From her,I mean...she may secretly wish she was in the same situation.

I have thought that myself. She is generally very intense but this is next-level annoyance.

"You're clearly not excited about my pregnancy and that's fine, there's no reason why you should be, it's personal to me and my partner. Let's make it off limits shall we? I won't bring it up and I don't expect you to do so either".

I also think it's probably jealousy.

I used to work with a woman a bit like this. She was very nice to me until the day she found out that I was pregnant when she suddenly became a bit of a bitch.

Always saying how she could never have children because it would ruin her perfect life. Going on about the freedom she had as a childless woman. Turning her nose up at anything baby/child related and generally being a cow to me. She also used to talk a lot about her stupid cat like it was a child.

I just assumed it was jealousy because despite my being pregnant, her arse was still significantly fatter than mine.

And congratulations!

If it was me I'd make a comment such as, "Oh dear you do seem to comment on this pregnancy a great deal. If it continues I might have to complain about harassment! Ha ha ha!" I would say it in a joking manner but with a knowing look so she is aware that the topic is off-limits. This IS harassment and she needs to shut up or find herself possibly in trouble.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.
I agree with others that she is probably jealous but whatever her reasons you surely shouldn't have to put up with it. It sounds like you would have a case against her for bullying at the very least and I'm sure a male colleague would never get away with commenting on the size of your boobs wether pregnant or not so why should she be free to comment.
Not surprised you are upset by it.

I think you should go and vomit on her desk. That will solve the problem .

On a more serious note, I agree that this is a form of harrassment/bullying.

If you have a union, I would ask them for advice. If not, do you have a trusted colleague/mentor you could speak to?

Fab idea flippinada

While yes she should try to stay hush about how gross she finds it all... Tokophobia is a REAL condition. A lot of people find the idea of pregnancy horrifying as well as the changes to your body. So YANBU to find what she says offensive and rude but everybody saying she is jealous is BU for forgetting that not everybody has to feel giddy/jealous/excited about somebody being pregnant.

I would try drawing her attention to it in a polite way, such as:

"gosh not another comment about my pregnancy."
"you do seem to talk about my pregnancy alot more than anyone else I know. I wonder why'
"to hear all these comments anyone would think you've forgotten I'm a person/ colleague first, who happens to be pregnant' polite smile.
Etc

And if that doesn't have a positive effect I'd go see hr / another senior person you have a relationship with/ seems sensible. It is harassment and you shouldn't be persecuted in this way.

Imagine if she said the same things about you because of your gender, ethnicity, physical appearance ... Or a health condition. It's her being weirdly obssessed due to some issue she has, and she needs to control it in a working environment.

Please tell her keep her unwelcome comments to herself, or to tell them to her own line manager if she thinks they are so valid.

Just say 'I'd appreciate it if you don't any further comments about my pregnancy and body shape'

"Eeew... Your opinion keeps falling out of your mouth.."

Really, just tell her to cut the shit. Pregnancy is a medical condition and it's protected by law. She's not allowed to treat you different because of it.

If I was in the throes of morning sickness, someone telling me how bad my sickness makes them feel would make me want to punch them.

Its bullying.

Do you have a HR department?

I think her behaviour is very unprofessional. Clearly she has issues.
I would just tell her that pregnancy is a condition, like myopia, and you do not think her constant comments are appropriate.
Is your company large enough to have an HR department? If so, I would seek their advice.

Aw I'm having a girl in December too! She's jealous and she's being very rude

overslept true, and she can feel whatever she wants about the pregnancy, but she has no right to express it in the workplace.

Even assuming she has an actual phobia about vomiting, as well as a deep seated issue or phobia about pregnancy (which seems a little surprising to genuinely have both), she cannot persecute someone else who is doing everything in her power to not impact on her colleagues.

Especially when she is the boss and in a position of authority over the woman she's picking at all day.

If she genuinely has such a deep seated issues, she needs to make arrangements for reasonable adjustments due to her illness, not take it out on the person she's supposed to be managing.

Not that it makes it okay, it doesn't but maybe she can't have children of her own so is jealous.

I suffer a severe phobia of sickness, and tbh it's ruining my life. I go onto meltdown if I know that someone's been sick. Again not excising her behaviour but maybe there's more of a reason to her being a bitch than just being one for the sake of it

I'm in no position to say which of the suggested responses is best, but in any event congratulations

She's being rude op,whatever her reasons whether a phobia or jealousy or just being a bitch it doesn't give her grounds to bully and belittle you.

Next time say something bitchy back like for example if she says anything about your stomach tell her at least yours will ho down after the baby. If she says your boobs are big tell her you're glad they're not saggy like hers.

There is absolutely no need to be polite to someone being such a bitch.

Like most bullies I'm sure the second you stand up to her she will stfu.

Congratulations on your pregnancy