Aibu to be upset my mum does not want to live with us

[Stresshead123]

I am upset with my mum as my dh & I asked if she would like for us both to sell our houses & buy a big house together (ours worth twice as much as theirs). My parents stay at their static caravan for 9/10 months of the year which they love they are mid 60,s. I have a brother with mental health problems who lives with them (but doesnt go to their van with them) he isn't much bother but has agoraphobia/depression etc. We are worried for the future if my parents stay in their house as if need a carehome etc what will happen to my brother if they go in a care home etc plus it's 15 miles from where we live & I know I am going to be driving back & forth etc as they age to help them/& brother. Also I have an autistic son who takes a lot of my time. When we put forward the idea & how much it would save them in gas/electric bills etc my mum said "she couldn't live with me" & that really upset me. In my & dh eyes it would be perfect solution my brother would benefit, my dad is all up for the idea as they don't live in a great area & their house is very small & no central heating. We had reassured mum that we would get mortgage protection plus pay off mortgage in 10 years so we would be secure. If we lived together the money they saved would help with upgrading their caravan, give them a good quality of life. It's not about money but I know that I am going to be left to deal with everything at some point in the future if anything happens to their health.Am I being unreasonable to be upset she doesnt want to live with us?

[Stresshead123]

Most wicked sounds like my dh got it right then & she is being over dramatic.

[MissDuke]

I think you are right to leave it now op. If your brother needs to come and live with you in the future, I am sure you will find a way round it. Your dh could set up a desk elsewhere in the house, I am sure. We have no spare rooms, but manage regardless. Try and speak to your mum about the three years thing, and be sure and explain that that is the reason you suggested this move, so she can see it is her own fault that you suggested it!

[Floisme]

I must admit my first reaction was that your parents were enjoying some well deserved 'me time' and that you were pissing on their parade with (albeit well-intentioned) talk of care homes. I can see now that it's more complex than that so apologies if I sounded a bit harsh. I do think it would be better if we all made plans for our old age while we were still active and in good health but the fact is that very few of us do.