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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I have a 9 week old puppy. She has cried ALL NIGHT. I am exhausted. AIBU to have her in bed with me?

77 replies

JustDontWantToSay · 13/08/2014 03:33

As the title says. I am desperate to sleep. But also desperate not to teach her bad habits :( She has a crate and this is the source of the problem :(

OP posts:
BOFster · 13/08/2014 03:36

Either harden your heart or accept she will be be in your bed forever which is not so bad as long as she's small ...

Guess which path I took? Grin

JustDontWantToSay · 13/08/2014 03:54

I could harden my heart. Alas, I cannot harden my ears :(

OP posts:
Gennz · 13/08/2014 03:56

Awwwww. What sort of puppy?

We were uber strict about crate training and put our puppy in a crate in the bedroom at the end of the hallway which seems totally unnecessarily strict and OTT now I think about it. Poor thing.

Now he sleeps in a dog bed in our room Hmm (so all the trauma of the crate training/howling was really worth it ) but is happy to be parked out in the hallway (as long as he's in his bed). He'll often try it on and curl up between us on our bed but gets off as soon as he's told to.

notagainffffffffs · 13/08/2014 03:59

Ahhh ges just a baby! He needs a warm cuddle.

LoveBeingInTheSun · 13/08/2014 03:59

It depends, on the bed or tucked up under the duvet Grin

TravellingToad · 13/08/2014 04:00

Aw he's only 9 weeks. Just a newborn. Let him in :)

pieceoftoast · 13/08/2014 04:01

Let her on the bed!

(I'm soft)

Crate trained one dog at night and he ended up with issues. Other dog was allowed on bed and never assumed it was her right. She prefers to sleep in her basket at the foot of the bed nowadays snoring loudly

Gennz · 13/08/2014 04:02

plus we got our boy at 14 weeks. 9 weeks is sooo little! I wouldn't be able to resist.

nooka · 13/08/2014 04:26

We didn't use a crate for our dog. He slept in the room next to ours. For the first couple of weeks I sat with him until he settled, then went to bed. Got up every time he whimpered, re settled him and/or took him out for a pee. After 2am dh took over, except he lay down with ddog on the sofa after taking him out for his pee. Took a few weeks before he went through the night and he has slept fine on his own ever since.

JadeJ123 · 13/08/2014 05:25

I did this before with a 11 stone mastiff, he then thought he was boss of the bed Shock new dogs have to sleep on the floor downstairs on there beds. Smile

Bean89 · 13/08/2014 05:53

I had a dog trainer around a while back (she was AMAZING) who said that leaving them to cry isn't good. They've just been taken away from their mum and their home & need comfort. Instead she said its best to initially have them on the bed, then in their own bed next to yours, then gradually move the bed away until it's out of the room.

CuttedUpPear · 13/08/2014 06:29

Have you tried the ticking clock and hot water bottle thing?

catwithflowers · 13/08/2014 06:37

I couldn't with mine (now 4 years old) but didn't want her upstairs either so I ended up sleeping on the sofa for the first week after we brought her home. It was lovely to be so close and to give her cuddles when she cried.

julieann42 · 13/08/2014 06:38

Mine came to bed and now sleeps there with us to. Depends wether you will mind that or not. We like having him there but it isn't for everyone!

mumminio · 13/08/2014 06:40

Where's his or her mummy? Perhaps the dog would be happier staying with its mummy for a little bit longer.

JustDontWantToSay · 13/08/2014 06:50

Awww, I thought you were all going to come back and say DON'T LET HER ON THE BED - LIFELONG ISSUES WILL BE HAD BY HER AND ALL THE FAMILY. I miles prefer the response I got! Thank you all Thanks

She's a 9 wk old Jackadoodle (Jack Russell crossed with toy poodle). And to be honest I grew up with dogs but larger breeds like border collie and Labrador and they weren't allowed on the furniture, or upstairs. This was my rule with the 2 yr old for about a year and he didn't put a foot wrong. And then we realised that actually, he s a lapdog really and he likes cuddles and just to be near us and gradually we relaxed the rules until now he's allowed everywhere, inc children's beds Shock This goes against the grain, let me tell you, but it works for him and us. He either sleeps with DD1 (12) which I think is a lovely experience for a child to have, or he sleeps in his basket downstairs - he does whichever he wants/we want. Good as gold. Happy dog Smile

So, long story short - I'm not bothered about her sleeping rigidly alone/in crate/downstairs. If she wants to sleep on my bed (am separated from DH) then so be it. But I'm so pleased you all thought the same! And very interesting what the dog trainer said about not leaving them to cry. It makes sense doesn't it? She's just left her mother, father and 5 siblings so she's bound to need human company for a while. And yes, she went to bed in her crate with a hot water bottle wrapped in a tea towel (it had its cover on too!) and a ticking clock wrapped in a tea towel but to no avail. Hey ho, we gave it a shot and I'd rather have a sleeping, quiet, contented puppy in my bed (she's not actually in but may as we'll be!) than a distressed, crying puppy shut in her crate.

That said, I have 2 DDs and the puppy has now kept me awake for far more of one night than they ever did!! Grin

OP posts:
JustDontWantToSay · 13/08/2014 06:55

Mummy is back with the breeder.

OP posts:
HappyAgainOneDay · 13/08/2014 06:58

On / in the bed? Good God! No.

Others have come up with good ideas like the clock with a hot water bottle or gradually move the dog bed away from yours over time.

MothershipG · 13/08/2014 07:05

I did what I thought I was supposed to do and made my first dog sleep downstairs in a crate (she settled relatively quickly), but my next 2 dogs were smaller and in bed with us from the first night.

Interestingly the 2 small ones are more bonded to me than DDog1, obviously this has pros & cons to it ie they have much better recall but are more bothered about being left.

Dinnaeknowshitfromclay · 13/08/2014 07:09

A heat pad to keep the pup comforted and Zylkene, follow the instructions on the pack.

Branleuse · 13/08/2014 07:09

id have her in bed

londonrach · 13/08/2014 07:14

Photo please. X

Camsie30 · 13/08/2014 07:16

Sorry to sound harsh, but where did you get the puppy from? 9 weeks is too early for it to hVe been separated from it's mother in my opinion, and no legitimate breeder would let pups go that early. It's crying and unsettled because it should be with it's mother.

hippoesque · 13/08/2014 07:25

Not true, we've recently bought our puppy home but spent nearly a year researching different breeds and visiting them at home. Out of 5 there was only one over 8 weeks.

Bakeoffcakes · 13/08/2014 07:38

We didnt use a crate but found our Jack Russell settled really well when we put her bed on the landing, outside our bedroom door. She still sleeps there now 11 years later. I think she could sense we were right near her and we never heard a peep all night.

(She does get to have a cuddle in our bed, first thing in the morning)

Having said that, if you don't mind her on your bed then go for it. I coslept with DD for 2 years and I loved every minute of it! Sharing your bed is good for the soul IMO.

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