To ask for Ideas how to punish my 15 year old 2nd Daughter for being horrible to her elder sister and rude and demeaning to me.

[smokepole]

I have recently posted about my DD2s behaviour in upsetting DD1 about her school and demeaning her potential University and course . The worst part is she is now calling me 'Thick' and an embarrassment because I don't have a degree from a top University like all her friends parents and that I have to do an OU one because I have no qualifications .

She said 'Sorry' about an earlier outburst, but she is at again calling me , DD1 and her friends.

How can I shut her up?

She has never been like this before.

Humble and thefishwife - what is that approach going to solve? Surely OP's open discussion and understanding the emotion behind the outburst makes more sense, not just driving everything underground with punishment?

RiverTam

Can't get into a spat with you as we each have our own ideas but to me any 15 year old who is upset by stupid comments from 12 year old children and then call their mother stupid and belittle her and her older sister sounds immature to me.

Of course it's not serious and of course the op will deal with it but to write to the school, not her dds own school either, but another school complaining that their children were rude and mean won't help the matter and may cause her dd to be teased.

Far more posters were much harsher than me.

My first advice was for the whole family to stop stressing about exam results and go out for a family meal or have a DVD night and just relax.

Hardly bloody harsh Advice I think.

I'm more interested in the underlying dynamics between you all and the issues behind her behaviour.

Something is bothering her.

Do you treat her the same as your 1st child?

As she has 'never been like this before' I don't think punishment is the way forward. There is some conflict in her - help her resolve it.

Animation. possibly a need to show her own identity and maybe she is a bit worried about year 11 and meeting her grade predictions.
Incidentally she has been lovely today, she made DD1 breakfast this morning before DD1 went to work. She is being loving and caring to me constantly wanting me to cuddle her . DD2 is being like she was when she was 12.

Yes - she's been having some kind of struggles - and needing a bit of TLC. And feeling a bit bad bad for taking it out on you all.

Glad you didn't punish her

You can't punish somebody into being empathetic and kind!!!

Discussion is not required. She's fifteen, she knows. Now she needs to believe that she has young-adult responsibilities including being kind to the people around her. Remind her.

Have you ever read Marian Keyes' books with Mammy Walsh in them?

Because you write just like Mammy Walsh and it's hilarious.

As for the rest, you are far too involved in the petty squabbles and dramas between sisters and teenagers. Laugh at her and move on.

I don't punish- Op your attitude towards your 15 yo DD sounds quite disrepectful "how can I punish" "how can I shut her up".

Perhaps she models her disrespect on other family members?

She's apologised, move on.

And all these posters saying remove her technology, what's the point in that? In your thread title you ask for a suitable 'punishment?'

She's obviously got snobby ideas about education, maybe influenced by friends, school, her family. Her attitudes need tackling and she needs to know you are upset but 'punishing' her for a rude comment seems ridiculous to me.

OH. I am not quite sure, if you mean I could 'sell' millions of books or that my grammar and punctuation is appalling, as pointed out to me on a previous thread. However, I am glad that I make you 'smile'

For the benefit of OH and other 'fans': Its amazing how 24 hours before exam results come out, your normal logical and focused 18 year old loses the plot. She is convinced she is going to end up with 3 Ds now and has been bombarding her school with telephone messages asking for the head of sixth form to ring her back. The reason for her sudden loss of confidence ( even last week she was reasonably confident) was after reading the Times and the expected grade downgrading ,her reasoning is 11+ failure's can't be allowed to get top A level grades. I am expecting another sleepless night tonight hearing DD2 telling DD1 to go to sleep. Thankfully though DS is at least away with his dad for a week.

These are the day to day strife's of a single mum with three teenage children, who all 'vie' to be the most important one.

read this OP

Thanks Oh. I might have a future other than 'Tesco' then.