Disgusted with DP's attitude re using a disabled sticker.

[Zatch]

Ok so we have been given my DP's recently sadly deceased grandmothers car. With this came a disabled sticker - the kind you hang from the rear vision mirror. Valid for another 2 years.

He pointed it out and said mentioned there's no need to pay/wait for parking just use this. I thought he was joking but still replied that no I wouldn't be. Cue tonight's phone call (he's only home 9 days a month but we talk everynight) where he again asked if I had and then why not? He would be.

It led to disagreement and eventually me stating that I was disgusted with his sense of importance that he would take a space someone else would really need. I ended the phone call because I just couldn't get past it.

He thinks anyone else would, and I vehemently think otherwise. It'll cause a row if he tries to do it with me and ds in the car as I won't be party to it. We're in oz so it's not policed in private car parks as far as I know but that's not the point. How to I get him to see reason?

I mean, can you imagine your child asking what the badge means?

A man like this probably lies without even thinking about it, but it makes me sick to think of children growing up in an environment where they see their father behaving so abhorrently. I hope that in this scenario the OP does more than just purse her lips.

I agree with you totally selfish thing to do. Thing is even people that you know well can surprise you.

When there was a petrol shortage a few years back my DM used her doctor status to get filled as a priority even though she no longer worked, I was ashamed for them, but DM and DF seemed really proud of themselves as if they had got one over on the system. It feels as if your DP isn't thinking through the logical consequences of what he is doing, or feels it's a victimless crime, even though he'll be taking spaces away from those who deserve it.

I wouldn't LTB over it if it's his only transgression in an otherwise happy relationship, but I would respect him somewhat less than I had before.

I have a badge for me, and although it is perfectly legal for my husband to use it if on a trip specifically FOR me, he absolutely never would. He always says he doesn't see why he should use it, when he's capable of parking in a regular space and leaving the disabled bay free for someone who genuinely needs it.

If someone like me came along and there were no spaces, I wouldn't have the option of parking somewhere else, I simply couldn't get out of the car. YANBU, and your partner quite frankly is an uncaring idiot. Well done you for having morals!

I've got a blue badge and I think he is a cunt!

Hushabye'you need to read the terms and condition of your Blue Badge. It is only legal to use it if you are in the car, not if he is making a trip for you!

It's a criminal offence to use a badge which isn't yours in the UK. It could land you with £1000 fine and confiscation of the badge.

Blue badge leaflet

As your dp's grandmother has passed away the badge should be returned.

He is not allowed to use the disabled sticker. There isn't an opinion on this. There is right and wrong. He shouldn't use it. What a bad attitude he has.

Hopefully, he will have a rethink and see what a pillock he has been. It's a scummy thing to consider doing.

I would be with diddl on this and the arse would find himself wifeless very quickly

MIL had a handicap sticker in her car. DH abused it a few times to park her car in a handicap space.

The ticketer saw he looked healthy and called his bluff (DH decided to run to the building because he was in a hurry). Gave him a double ticket/fine. If he was truly legit he could sort if out in court and get off. Last time he did it.

If you're caught it comes with a hefty fine. So keep in mind that you might be paying pretty massively for the convenience.

From a moral viewpoint, just park in the normal space. There are people that truly need it and will be in pain to walk too far.

Not only that we have a freaking obesity problem. Walk. It's good for you.

"...He's very considerate of his family/friends/ those he interacts with but the rest of the world can do one as far as he's concerned..."

What a highly unnatractive character flaw that is. That alone would really erode any love I had for someone. The disabled badge issue would make me lose even more respect.

What a highly unnatractive character flaw that is. That alone would really erode any love I had for someone.

Bit harsh.

If your love is truly so conditional and unforgiving, it's hardly love at all, is it?

"Handicap?" Have we gone back in time?!

YANBU to be disgusted, OP. I would LTB over this to be honest.

ADHD, I think she means that she would never fall in love with someone like that in the first place and, if she did, seeing behaviour like this would erode the love.

Not harsh in the slightest. I totally agree.

"If your love is truly so conditional and unforgiving", what an odd thing to say. If we were talking about him forgetting to by a birthday present, then perhaps. We are talking about someone screwing over disabled people. You might think that isn't a big deal but thankfully most people think that is pretty vile behaviours.

Ah i see, ADHD...you love someone who has behaved in this despicable manner and abused the blue badge. Well, you can see from this thread that you DH isn't exactly seen as a catch in most people's eyes!

Well, you can see from this thread that you DH isn't exactly seen as a catch in most people's eyes!

Well, luckily for you, I'm married to him and not you.

People make mistakes, we move on. It is quite possible to be upset with someone and still love them, something MN forgets it seems. Not every scenario is LTB worthy. Sometimes a partner needs a smack upside the head.

All I'm saying is that if you really loved your partner, one stupid mistake would not "erode your love". Or maybe it would. Luckily for me, I'm not married to you either.

(and "Handicap Parking" is commonly used in the US and written on our signs)

It's worth highlighting that some local authorities may restrict blue-badge parking to cars specifically licensed to carry a disabled person (i.e. zero road tax). In these cases using the badge in another car could lead to prosecution.

I've never heard of this. Really hope my local local authorities don't introduce it. I'm entitled to a blue badge but not DLA/PIP so don't get zero road tax. I've always used my bb in a number of cars as I often travel as a passenger in someone else's.

Sorry you are living with this man. What he is suggesting is fraud. You are right to be disgusted. The card will have an issue address, send it back or to the CAB and inform the DVLA immediately, that the car has a parking permit attached that is still valid, but you have no entitlement to. YANBU

I have a badge for me, and although it is perfectly legal for my husband to use it if on a trip specifically FOR me, he absolutely never would. He always says he doesn't see why he should use it, when he's capable of parking in a regular space and leaving the disabled bay free for someone who genuinely needs it.

I agree. I have a blue badge too and my DP is the same. He is aware obviously of the fight I had to go through to get it and the extent of my disability. He hates them being misused and in the past has confronted people about it.

Not sure how purposely abusing a disabled badge several times is "making a mistake". In my book, it's called "being a twat".

It's worth highlighting that some local authorities may restrict blue-badge parking to cars specifically licensed to carry a disabled person (i.e. zero road tax). In these cases using the badge in another car could lead to prosecution.

Not sure how that works though. What if someone is taking you somewhere that isn't your car? For example my father often has to take me to physio and hospital appointments.

www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/206022/blue-badge-rights-responsibilities.pdf

None of this is rocket science

"It's worth highlighting that some local authorities may restrict blue-badge parking to cars specifically licensed to carry a disabled person (i.e. zero road tax). In these cases using the badge in another car could lead to prosecution."

We have encountered this a few times. Certain shopmobility schemes (Worcester) will only allow zero-tax vehicles to park (with blue badges) in disabled bays.

Also, IIRC, Edinburgh Castle - they checked the tax disc before they let us park in the Castle Grounds.

Sadly, it's a natural progression to the blue badges being abused :(

"Making a mistake"??

This twat wants to use his deceased grandmother'a blue badge. He still does. He hasn't seen that what he is doing is wrong, hence the OP starting this thread.

ADHD, your DH did this thing that most of us think is abhorrent. Your DH got caught. He didn't realise what he was doing was wrong either. No doubt he would still be doing it if hadn't got caught? So of course you are going to think it is no big deal, because you treated it as such.

The vast majority think it is very shitty behaviour and indicative of quite a nasty little personality. Someone who wouldn't think twice about lying and deceiving others. Something worth thinking about...

I'd be worried he was showing his true colours tbh.
Ask him what else he is prepared to steal and lie about.
Send it back, tell him how sickened you are and that his behaviour speaks volumes as the type of person he is.
I'm glad he's not my dh.

I would say nothing for a week or two. Give yourself an 'alibi' like you were shopping when the badge mysteriously disappeared. Leave his car unlocked at the same time but make out he accidentally left the car like that! Ask if anything valuable was stolen like the radio, and just express relief that nothing more important was stolen. Just blag it and look mighty innocent.

Bin it of course!