Disgusted with DP's attitude re using a disabled sticker.

[Zatch]

Ok so we have been given my DP's recently sadly deceased grandmothers car. With this came a disabled sticker - the kind you hang from the rear vision mirror. Valid for another 2 years.

He pointed it out and said mentioned there's no need to pay/wait for parking just use this. I thought he was joking but still replied that no I wouldn't be. Cue tonight's phone call (he's only home 9 days a month but we talk everynight) where he again asked if I had and then why not? He would be.

It led to disagreement and eventually me stating that I was disgusted with his sense of importance that he would take a space someone else would really need. I ended the phone call because I just couldn't get past it.

He thinks anyone else would, and I vehemently think otherwise. It'll cause a row if he tries to do it with me and ds in the car as I won't be party to it. We're in oz so it's not policed in private car parks as far as I know but that's not the point. How to I get him to see reason?

Ask him if his grandmother would have approved of him using her badge.

I know its for the person but it only has the cars details on it so he thinks that's fine.
I know it's not so will have a look and either bin it or send back.
He's very considerate of his family/friends/ those he interacts with but the rest of the world can do one as far as he's concerned. So whilst I see his view I don't agree.

Perhaps when he bounds out of the car someone will get suspicious & report?

i don't know how he can even think about it tbh.

I'm assuming that he didn't inherit her disability when she died?

The fact that my disabled dad fell over in a car park the other day, because there were no disabled spaces available, says enough. We didn't have space to get the wheelchair beside the car, so he was trying to walk out of the space to the chair, and he fell over. It was horrible and, for him, totally humiliating.

Now I am assuming that the disabled spaces at that particular car park were taken by those who needed it, and it was just our bad luck that others got there first. But if I found out that one of them was taken by your DH, he would, in my eyes, be responsible for my dad's pain and embarassment that day. And I can't promise I wouldn't wish just as much pain and embarassment back on him.

"So whilst I see his view"

Really?

Because I can't see it at all!

If you are in WA you can call 9242 5544 to speak to the ACROD parking scheme. I'm sure they (or the equivalent in your state) will discuss with you what you should do with your partners Grandmothers permit.

This is why our Northern Ireland badges have photos on them!!

Where are you in Australia? Usually here they don't have car or person details on them. Legally you are required to send them back. Since the recent law change, we no longer qualify for one for DS2 and were supposed to return it when it went past its use by date

I'd tell him the dept sent a request to return it and you did. And gosh just where did you put that letter?

"The rest of the world can do one as far as he is concerned"

Including disabled people struggling to make it to a shop doorway because too far to walk because your tosser of a partner thought he/she should "do one" and he parked in disabled.

Really disgusting man. And you can see his point of view? . Then again, you wouldn't be with someone like that if you couldn't "see his point of view"

I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone with so little integrity. People like him are the reason people like me, with invisible disabilities, get so much abuse while going about our business. My DH wouldn't dream of using my blue badge. Ever.

Perhaps when he bounds out of the car someone will get suspicious & report?

He will lie through his teeth. Say he is picking up some essential medication for his disabled grandmother or something similar.

If you are prepared to use a disabled badge that belonged to your desk eased grandmother, then you are perfectly happy to lie and goodness knows what else.

Desk eased should read deceased

Where in the world are you OP?

Op is in Oz, as it says in the OP

"Say he is picking up some essential medication for his disabled grandmother or something similar."

I guess so & I suppose he'd just get a warning that if GM isn't with him then he's not entitled to park in allocated places.

well OP, maybe you should just dob him in.

I use a blue badge ( legitimately).Your DH is a cunt of the first order and so are you for not just taking the badge down and returning it. You really want to try living life with a disability. I normally wouldn't wish it on anyone but sometimes I'm sorely tempted...

I still have my Dads. I was going to send it back but his photo on it stopped me. I realise it was sentiment but I just couldn't part with it.
It's been on top of the kitchen cupboard since he died 6 years ago. I would never have dreamed of using it without him in the car with me.

Just to help out UK posters ...

(England and Wales) Blue Badges are issued by the local authority, in respect of their own criteria. They are assigned to a PERSON, and may be used in any vehicle CARRYING THAT PERSON, in accordance with any regulations issued with the badge, and the appropriate local parking bylaws.

It's worth highlighting that some local authorities may restrict blue-badge parking to cars specifically licensed to carry a disabled person (i.e. zero road tax). In these cases using the badge in another car could lead to prosecution.

Any other use is contrary to the rules and may result in a fine, prosecution, and withdrawal of the badge. And, yes, there have been cases where abuse of a badge by a family member has resulted in removal of the badge, penalising the disabled person.

On the occasions, I've seen someone hop out of a car in a BB bay, without the BB. I shout over "Oi, Mate don't forget your free parking pass - thye're shit hot in here" and wave our BB at them. Either the exaggerated play of being mates in ignorance, or the simple drawing attention to them seems to work, as they (so far) have quickly reparked (away from me). If there is a BB that's different. They can be abused, but you can't know why someone needs one just from looking.

You must remove it and return it or destroy it. Anything else will be condoning the behaviour that is completely inexcusable.

What an arse your partner is being!!!

I remember years ago when my FIL was terminally ill with motor neurone disease and becoming progressively more disabled and immobile. MIL had a blue badge for their car because of him, and sometimes my husband would also drive him around in the same car. It would have been infuriating and very unfair to have found themselves unable to use disabled parking spaces because some tosser had decided to abuse someone else's badge.

More recently MIL herself became terminally ill with widespread inoperable cancer. As her mobility declined another blue badge was obtained for her car, which was by then being driven only by her daughter, who was caring for her. Same thing would have applied.

Send the badge back asap, or burn it.

I use people's behaviour with my blue badge as a test. Having screened out people who would try and slip away with it in their handbags or dashboards, the standard of carers got so much better.

And oh the lies they'd tell 'sorry I forgot' (for the third time, no I don't think so), 'but I need it to do shopping tomorrow' (!!!), 'it's easier for you if I just take charge of it ' (patronizing twats).

I found abusing my blue badge came hand in hand with other things like abusing me, swearing at me, stealing money and objects from me, and other such delightful behaviour.

I guess your dp is content to be in that group of people, or would pretend that he's got nothing in common with those awful people who'd exploit a vulnerable disabled person.

Except he's just the same, isn't he?

I'm not the only one who would LTB over this, am I?

I think that it's abhorrent.

Diddl, i would never be with anyone like this, and if this scenario cropped up, I would LTB, because right there... He's given himself away - he's an utter twat.