We should cancel this holiday - sleeping bags soaked before we even leave, estranged parents

[justfoundout2014]

I have had a few threads recently about my sahd h who has been sleeping with a mutual friend for 2.5 years. We are separated (rooms) and he will move out when we get back from this family holiday in UK that the dc have been looking forward to.

We are supposed to be camping (pods, not tents, which is something) but, of course there is torrential rain here and in our destination. When we moved in here, h insisted on keeping all camping stuff, even sleeping bags, in the garage. I said with the slightest risk of damp they should go in the huge attic room which is a proper room, so easily accessible. No. All camping gear must go in the garage. The garage had a leak we were unaware of. The bags are absolutely drenched and there is smell of damp, so I don't think it's the first time they have got wet over the year . He has gone to check on the airbeds.

I have had to tell the dc we will go tomorrow, not today, which has caused tears, but I'm not really sure the stuff will be fit to use tomorrow. I just feel drained. Really, really, didn't want to go anyway and now this. Every day some other shit caused by him. He has taken the view that we have to act normal for the dc (fine) but that we can't even discuss our issues when they are in bed as there's 'no point in screaming at each other.' Not fine. I don't want to scream, but I can't just go on like nothing is happening.

We can't afford to replace it all right now. I just want to give up on it, but can't let the dc down. FFS.

Have just heard him come in and turn the hairdryer on, so I assume the airbeds are indeed wet, and he is trying to dry them like a twat. There are four dripping sleeping bags here, the smell is getting stronger. What the fuck do I do?

Could you take them to a launderette and do a wash and tumble dry?

Probably take about 2 hours and cost £15?

that

Or leave the twat at home, and just the 3 of you go. Say he is ill?

Just take duvets.

Take duvets?

Do you want to prove you're right or do you want to have a holiday? Not being snarky, a genuine question to think about.

That is a good idea, and certainly affordable, but we originally put them in our tumble dryer and heard a funny noise so opened it and steam poured out quite dramatically. We realised you are not supposed to tumble dry them .

Wash them?

Tell him you don't want him to come and want him out of the house. Take the kids and their normal bedding off their beds. Try to enjoy your break and look forward to him having moved out when you get back

er -steam is them drying....

Take the sleeping bags to the laundrette or squish them in the machine one by one if it's big enough?

If you can get the airbeds dried do that and take your quilts. Go and count down the hours until he moves out.

Or - are you on fb? If one of my friends posted saying 'camping stuff ruined, anyone got airbeds / sleeping bags I could borrow? ' I'd loan mine.

I'm not at all sure I want the holiday, but I really don't want further upset for the dc, but, yes, this is another opportunity for me to lay in to h, albeit purposelessly, but he deserves it.

It never occurred to me to take duvets. Are they warm enough for podding?

Go and buy cheap roll mats instead of airbeds?

If you don't want to go with the twat then give him the choice - he goes with kids or you go with kids.

Replace the airbeds with cheap ones, take your duvets and go without the twat species. You'll have a lovely time.

Launderette- they should wash. I wash mine and dry hem but have a large machine. If they haven't been aired they'll smell anyway so a wash and proper dry is needed.

Get your tent or and FGS blow up the air beds tonight to check them and also that you have the stoppers

Good luck
We're off tomorrow supposedly too but it looks grim.
Take wellies!

Launderette service wash here is £5 and you pick up in half an hour (it is truly awesome living in a cheaper area sometimes).

Your H is a twat of the highest order and so should do the necessary running about.

Sit down, have a cup of tea, and work out how much the camping equipment is serviceable - get the kids to help check the tent so they can appreciate if its wet what they are getting themselves into.

PS a wet camping holiday is a rite of passage, just make sure you bagsy sleeping in the car and work out where the closest hot drink is.

Blow up the air beds ad they will dry and can be wiped with a damp cloth in case of mildew

Do you know anyone who could lend you some sleeping bags? Could you speak to the people at the site and see if they can help?

Where are you OP? We've just unpacked and sorted out 5 sleeping bags, mats etc. Happy to lend if you're in London.

Facebook, seriously. Or Argos: £7.99

Go to laundrette to wash dry sleeping bags. Go to Asda and get sleep mats for 4 each. Go on holiday. Get back kick twat out of house and tell family, kids and friends why.

Why are you putting up with twat?

In fact go on holiday without him and tell him to move out by the time you get back.

What a twat he is - but that doesn't help you.

Our sleeping bags are washable - polyester not down though.
Wash them and rinse in vinegar and bicarbonate to get rid of damp smell. You might have to do this twice. Also put in some fabric conditioner.
Put on a fast spin and they should be able to be tumble dried.

I've read your previous threads, and I really can't understand why you are bothering. Your marriage is over, so might as well just make the break and be done with it. This whole holiday idea has disaster written all over it.

The minute I found out my dh had been sleeping with my friend for 2.5 years the holiday would be off. The dc will be upset whatever with the marriage break up but I just could not pretend everything was ok. There will be a hideous atmosphere the kids could pick up on anyway. I would plan a holiday with the dc's on my own.