To haaate when people say they are "too soft" or "too nice"

[Fanfeckintastic]

It's usually the very ones who love plodding around like martyrs, telling everyone all the good turns they do etc.

Some people are habitual doormats,they love trying to save or fix folks

Frequently code for passive aggressive.

Come stand next to me, I'm a bitch, never have the words Lally and soft been put in the same sentence. I'm a bad tempered old cow who is too set in her own ways and I don't care. But I am honest about it and that's the main thing

LMAO at habitual doormats - scottishmummy I am stealing that one, got a few people in mind I can aim that one at next time they go sticking their noses in.

In my experience people who say they are too nice are usually the opposite. It's like starting a sentence "I'm not being funny but...".

Or "I'm not being racist but...."

As soon as they whip out the meek little Oh I'm too nice for my own good, I rage!

Oh just the kind of company I need Lally

Pmt-ing, I'm sure you can tell!

I've only ever heard someone saying they're too soft when they've been soft as shit and have put themselves out for someone else, usually when the other person's thanking them.

I like the cut of your jib Lally

for you OP

People say I'm soft, I really don't think I am, does this mean I am?!

I am too soft and let people walk over me constantly and never stick up for myself at all. Not a martyr just way too timid and nice and not passive aggressive at all.

I am too soft and let people walk over me constantly and never stick up for myself at all. Not a martyr just way too timid and nice and not passive aggressive at all.

My dad says hes too nice and hes a passive aggressive toxic horrid man! He also says hes the most laid back bloke anyone will ever meet. Seems to forget running round the house threatening to commit suicide when I wwas 15. Bastard.

Anyone saying "Im too nice" "Im too soft" Make me that mad i get adrenline rush! Nobody can say that about themselves! And if they do i tend to think their a nasty shit trying to hide it.

I had a friend who was always trotting that line out to justify bouts of nastiness towards people. As in "the problem is, I'm too nice and people take advantage, so I had to tell her to fuck off/delete from Facebook/refuse to speak to her ever again."

Yeah, too nice...that's the problem...

YADNBU
We had one of these at work.
Fucking bastarding nightmare.

People who do this tend to keep score... And to weight their own kind acts more heavily.

Yanbu. IME people who say that lend people things/do people favours and then expect that person to be eternally grateful and their friend forever more. When the person just thanks them and moves on they are highly affronted and declare they're "too nice" when in fact they're manipulative and whiny.

It makes me want to say "well, maybe you should [try and] be different then".

You can't be too nice. Being nice is important, mistaking 'unable to be assertive' for 'nice' isn't. Same for kind, kindness comes in many forms, and you can't be too kind.