On a packed train and the guy directly in front of me is snorting, snotting, coughing and making all number of vile phelgm-y noises....
I can't move but think there isn't a court in the land that would convict me if I just battered him until he stops! He isn't taking notice of people recoiling or me almost retching and is just doing this continuously.
No sign of an actual cold by the way!
So, am I being irrational or would this be a perfectly reasonable defence if he ended up a little unconscious.