I hate that my MIL has only photos of her with DD around her house and none of me!

[Samedino]

I know I sound a little immature but it really gets on my nerves. She has never put up a photo of my DD with me, her mother, despite me giving her lots.

She only has photos of her cuddling and looking close with my DD, about 7 or 8 of them.

She does want to be like a mother to DD so yes there's background for me feeling so annoyed about it. But I hate this blatant 'display'. I hate the message it sends to my DD (aged 5). Like DGM is so much more important than mummy!!!

Really? She has massive blown up pictures all over the downstairs of her house?

I'm thinking now and my MIL has no photos of me or her other DIL up. Her own DCs (now adult obviously) and her GC, but no couples photos. Like weddings.

My mil has all get family, extended family aswell, included in that one of bil ex girlfriend and his new girlfriend but mine of me!

Yeah, you need to stamp out this "call me mummy" crap. Yesterday.

Don't drag your poor DD into it by correcting her every time and making the onus on her to call everyone the correct name, that's very unfair on her to make her "pick" between you and MIL. Not saying you do, but just make sure you don't either. If she can't follow your rules, she can't see DD. It's unfair to place a child in that sort of position.

same here except none of DH either just his children and his sister. And his sister on their wedding day even though they are divorced.

Oh I did mean correct granny for suggesting it, not dd btw.

Well my DC's grandparents only have pics of them with us or school pics because they've never taken them anywhere, done anything with them, shown enough interest in them to merit a joint photo. It's not a big deal in itself. Be glad she has a relationship with her.

Every single time on these threads women are just finding the most trivial things to be upset with their mothers in law about. Why don't you just try to get along for the sake of your daughter and stop trying to compete with each other? You have a problem with her because you're not in her photos?! If she seriously does try to get her to call her mummy that should be your main gripe if anything, but I find that hard to believe to be honest.

Think yourself lucky - my MiL has one of those multi-picture frames full of family snaps. Top right space - me and OH on our wedding day, bottom left space - OH and his first wife on their wedding day.

Good job I'm an easy going kinda gal

I really wouldn't react to that at all - it's her house and she wants pictures of herself with your child. Other things you say are bonkers, but the picture thing isn't something to waste your thoughts on :) x

There is nothing you can do about the pictures really, even giving her some hasn't worked.
I would pull back with the contact immediately, not stop but cut back. I would make sure I was present at all times for a while.
Nobody would get my dc to call them mummy over my dead body.
Put your foot down this is not acceptable.
Does your dh support you on this, he needs to be on your side.

YABU about the photos. Perfectly normal for a gran to have photos of their grandchildren. My MiL doesnt have photos of me up. I'd be a bit unnerved if she did, tbh.
She had a wedding photo up fora while after the wedding, but once grandchildren started arriving, we got moved elsewhere - pretty much as id expect.

It wouldn't even cross my mind to think MIL had to have a photo of me on her wall. Like I don't have one with her and my partner

I live for a bit of MIL bashing but... yeeeeah yabu.

Come to think of it, my MIL doesn't either. I never really noticed. No doubt she loves them a lot more than she loves me. As she should!

My own mother doesn't have photos on display of me and she has one photo of one of my kids in a frame (I have 3) I simply can't see what there is to get worked up about. Your kid is adored, what's the problem with that?

But the mummy thing needs to be sorted.

You are reading far far too much into the photo thing, it doesn't send out the message you are less important at all! However it's understandable given your other issues with her, now encouraging your DD to call her Mummy or whatever is plain wrong and I can't believe she's still doing it - what dis she say when you point out this isn't true and is confusing for your DD?

There are a couple of pictures of me and dh on our wedding day on MiL's wall, loads of the boys, I don't think I'm on many, meh.

The issue with her calling herself mummy to your dd needs sorting, does your dd actually call her Mummy, have you told dd shes gran/nan/nanny and notto be called mummy?

personally I think it is weird to have lots of pictures of yourself up in your house regardless of the rest. Not much you can do about that though.

My MiL is the same - no photos of me in her house and refers to herself as DCs mummy and daddy - she tries to get round it by saying she forgot and it's a slip of the tongue. She also calls my DS "mini-DP". She's full of the crazy though so we try to limit how much contact she has with the DC and eldest DS is now just about old enough to start correcting her on her name when she does it out of my earshot.

I can't stand the woman but I think it's sad that she's so desperate to relive her mummy-years. It's telling that her own children don't call her mum, they call her by her first name.

So I can definitely sympathise OP!

Really to the call me mummy thing? That's odd.

No photos of you, not a problem.

I don't want photos of me up at pils. It's normal for there to be many of their dgc.

Do you have pictures of you MIL up in your house?

Photos - meh. I wouldn't expect mil to have pics of me up; I don't have any of her.

"Call me mummy" - huge red flag. Have you asked her why she does that? and told her to stop?