I hate that my MIL has only photos of her with DD around her house and none of me!

[Samedino]

I know I sound a little immature but it really gets on my nerves. She has never put up a photo of my DD with me, her mother, despite me giving her lots.

She only has photos of her cuddling and looking close with my DD, about 7 or 8 of them.

She does want to be like a mother to DD so yes there's background for me feeling so annoyed about it. But I hate this blatant 'display'. I hate the message it sends to my DD (aged 5). Like DGM is so much more important than mummy!!!

[Hakluyt]

My mother was inclined to have pictures of her children and their children- my mil was the same. Why would it be otherwise?

[burgatroyd]

When my dd2 was born I sent over pictures of her being cuddled by OH to in laws. That felt natural.

[Pinkrose1]

I thought this was just another 'let's bash MILs' thread, but I actually think it's quite a reasonable annoyance if she is asking your DD to call her mummy .

It's not the photo issue (lack of your photo) so much as her over the top attitude to DD.

Not sure what you can do except get DH to have a quiet word about this OTT attitude.

[Sleepswithbutterflies]

Our baby away from us - not our baby seat from us!!

[Sleepswithbutterflies]

Mine is the same.
She also used to refer to herself as mummy and FIL as daddy but doesn't now that ds is older (he's 5 too). It's extremely annoying. She always called ds 'our baby' too. As in 'when can we see our baby again?'

Whenever we went home she would say 'why are you taking our baby seat from us?'
It's done her no favours as I'm absolutely unwilling to give an inch to her now and where I would have happily let her see ds more if she had been normal I now only let her see him once a week. There's no way I'm bending over backwards to accommodate her when frankly she has behaved in an insane way. It does not help that ds is an only one and we can't have any more children. It makes me resent her possessiveness even more. She had three children and has 4 other (albeit grown up) grand children. It's our turn now, not hers.
She acts very hard done by that we don't take her on holiday with us. But I don't see that as a right, we don't take my parents either - why should she come on holiday with us?

[maddy68]

I would say that's pretty normal tbh. Why would she want a pic of you up? She has a close bond with her cg and is clearly proud. I wouldn't be bothered about that at all.
dreading being a mil

[FlipFlippingFlippers]

My mil had to be told yelled at several times to take down a picture of dh and his ex gf a year after we'd been together! Though she's made no secret of disliking me and I wasn't really that bothered but it was upsetting the ex gf when she took DSD to visit.

Still no pictures of me or our dc's up in her house despite being given some in frames. Not too bothered about my ugly mug but her house is covered in pictures of sister in laws dc's so that makes me a bit

Oh and she still has an entire album full of pics of dh's ex. I think she's built her a secret shrine

[ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged]

Photos - meh. I wouldn't expect mil to have pics of me up; I don't have any of her.

"Call me mummy" - huge red flag. Have you asked her why she does that? and told her to stop?

[Hakluyt]

Do you have pictures of you MIL up in your house?

[MarshaBrady]

I don't want photos of me up at pils. It's normal for there to be many of their dgc.

[MarshaBrady]

Really to the call me mummy thing? That's odd.

No photos of you, not a problem.

[Petallic]

My MiL is the same - no photos of me in her house and refers to herself as DCs mummy and daddy - she tries to get round it by saying she forgot and it's a slip of the tongue. She also calls my DS "mini-DP". She's full of the crazy though so we try to limit how much contact she has with the DC and eldest DS is now just about old enough to start correcting her on her name when she does it out of my earshot.

I can't stand the woman but I think it's sad that she's so desperate to relive her mummy-years. It's telling that her own children don't call her mum, they call her by her first name.

So I can definitely sympathise OP!

[tobysmum77]

personally I think it is weird to have lots of pictures of yourself up in your house regardless of the rest. Not much you can do about that though.

[StillStayingClassySanDiego]

There are a couple of pictures of me and dh on our wedding day on MiL's wall, loads of the boys, I don't think I'm on many, meh.

The issue with her calling herself mummy to your dd needs sorting, does your dd actually call her Mummy, have you told dd shes gran/nan/nanny and notto be called mummy?

[Tinkerball]

You are reading far far too much into the photo thing, it doesn't send out the message you are less important at all! However it's understandable given your other issues with her, now encouraging your DD to call her Mummy or whatever is plain wrong and I can't believe she's still doing it - what dis she say when you point out this isn't true and is confusing for your DD?

[gamerchick]

My own mother doesn't have photos on display of me and she has one photo of one of my kids in a frame (I have 3) I simply can't see what there is to get worked up about. Your kid is adored, what's the problem with that?

But the mummy thing needs to be sorted.

[however]

Come to think of it, my MIL doesn't either. I never really noticed. No doubt she loves them a lot more than she loves me. As she should!

[ithoughtofitfirst]

I live for a bit of MIL bashing but... yeeeeah yabu.

[MorphineDreams]

It wouldn't even cross my mind to think MIL had to have a photo of me on her wall. Like I don't have one with her and my partner

[BackforGood]

YABU about the photos. Perfectly normal for a gran to have photos of their grandchildren. My MiL doesnt have photos of me up. I'd be a bit unnerved if she did, tbh.
She had a wedding photo up fora while after the wedding, but once grandchildren started arriving, we got moved elsewhere - pretty much as id expect.

[morethanpotatoprints]

There is nothing you can do about the pictures really, even giving her some hasn't worked.
I would pull back with the contact immediately, not stop but cut back. I would make sure I was present at all times for a while.
Nobody would get my dc to call them mummy over my dead body.
Put your foot down this is not acceptable.
Does your dh support you on this, he needs to be on your side.

[Littleen]

I really wouldn't react to that at all - it's her house and she wants pictures of herself with your child. Other things you say are bonkers, but the picture thing isn't something to waste your thoughts on :) x

[mrssmith79]

Think yourself lucky - my MiL has one of those multi-picture frames full of family snaps. Top right space - me and OH on our wedding day, bottom left space - OH and his first wife on their wedding day.

Good job I'm an easy going kinda gal

[smallworld200]

Every single time on these threads women are just finding the most trivial things to be upset with their mothers in law about. Why don't you just try to get along for the sake of your daughter and stop trying to compete with each other? You have a problem with her because you're not in her photos?! If she seriously does try to get her to call her mummy that should be your main gripe if anything, but I find that hard to believe to be honest.