Should I have called the police?

[FluffyPingPong]

Apologies in advance - long post!
I spent the day in Bristol yesterday, a totally unfamiliar place to me. Husband had a work meeting, it's a few hours drive away but as I am on maternity leave with 10month old, thought I would tag along and have a browse around the shops.
Time was getting on and at about 5 o'clock I was in a small shopping mall on the top floor with not many people around. I went to get the lift down to the ground floor (had buggy so couldn't take the escalator). As I was waiting I became aware of man standing behind me but thought nothing of it. Lift opened & 2 women with 3 children got out... They realised they were on the wrong floor so got back in again. I could have squeezed in with the buggy but didn't want to be like sardines so thought I'd just wait. I turned to the man behind me and said "I don't think I'll fit with the buggy, but you can go ahead" to which he replied that he would wait, and said some remark about ending up on the roof or something that I didn't quite catch. I didn't really think anything of it at the time, but looking back now it seems clear he wanted to get in the lift with me alone. As I was waiting for the lift to come back up I took out my phone and was text a friend. When I put it back in my bag he took a step towards me and asked "did you take a good selfie?", I was a bit confused and said "sorry?". To which he relied "did you take a selfie? On your phone?". I said "oh no. I was texting my husband" and then pressed the lift button again, thinking that would make it clear I wasn't interested in conversation. He then continued to try to talk to me asking if I ever took selfies, and I just shrugged, shook my head, and looked the other way feeling very uncomfortable. I should point out here that he seemed like a presentable man, probably mid 50's, but something about him just didn't sit right with me. I am only 24, and with a baby in an unfamiliar city, there was nobody else around and the time and I suddenly felt very vulnerable.
Luckily the lift came then, so there were no more awkward selfie questions. Then I had a horrible feeling in my gut that I shouldn't get in the lift alone with this man. I did not want to be rude, and simply said "you can take this one, I'll wait for the next" was this unreasonable?
He said "don't be silly, get in, I'm right behind you" to which I replied "honestly I'd rather wait for the next one, you can take this"
And the then said "why?!" in an aggressive tone. Before I had a chance to answer he said "fine I'll take the f*ing stairs you little btch" and began to walk away, turning around to shout at the top of his lungs "f*ing stupid little f*ing btch!!!"
I should also point out that there were no stairs, it was escalators which were about 10 metres away. I broke down crying as I was absolutely terrified to get in the lift incase he was waiting for me at the bottom. I've been unnerved ever since and didn't sleep very well last night as I couldn't stop thinking about it.
I keep re-playing it in my head, feeling like it's my fault for being rude and refusing to get in the lift with him, which caused him to react the way he did. But then I question whether he was lurking there to get in the lift with me alone so he could attack me and was angered when his plan failed. Am I being a drama queen? I'm worried that I should have reported it to the police in case he was being predatory and went on to attack a different woman? What do you all think? Should I ring the police? Or is it now too late?

You did nothing wrong. Your instincts were correct. Listen to them and never think you have to please men (sorry, this sounds patronising but I am much older than you and I think I would have worried about being rude too at your age).

I think it is very possible, likely that you stopped something else, maybe a lot worse happening.

I think it might help you, maybe also do some good in terms of reporting him too, to call 101. There will be CCTV all over the shopping centre. He may be someone who lurks there

He was not a nice man. A nice man would not, in the circumstances you describe, call a woman a bitch.

You could notify the police as his aggression sounds uncalled for and just horrid. Incase he is lurking around to attack your instinct sounds correct & save someone.
Well done for taking yourself out of that sutuation, tiu were 100% right not to get in lift with him!

I hope your feeling better hun, men like that are pathetic! Do not let them make you feel insecure or sorry as he was in the wrong.
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Wow, OP. You did exactly the right thing. You should never, ever ignore your instincts because the poor little man might feel a bit hurt. Go ahead and be rude! Any normal, adult man would understand that a woman on her own might not want to get into a lift with him and shrug it off as nothing personal.

But he clearly did mean you harm, shouting and swearing at you, asking you creepy questions... Report this to the police, as they may well have other reports about him, and it builds up a profile for them.

You should feel nothing but proud of the way you handled yourself.

A decent and/or sane man would not have behaved like that to you.

You did exactly what you should have done. You listened to your gut trying to protect you, rather than push it down to be "polite".

Your gut was right.

His reaction was NOT normal.

I think it is worth calling in to the local polcie station and making a report. Shopping centres have CCTV. Police forces can collaborate and share info.

Th value isn't in what will or won't be done about him this time. It's about marking his card. Leaving a paper trail that can follow him. So if there ever is some poor woman with her word against his, you marking his card can count for a lot. It might be the single piece of information that makes all the difference.

And , becuase that was a horrible horrible experience, The fact that you handled it well doesn't stop it being scary, nerve racking and shocking. You entitled to feel off kilter and upset, it's not being silly, it's being human having had what looks very much like a close shave with somebody deeply deeply unpleasant.

Yes, you should report it.

We had a young man where I kept my horse who would harass girls on horseback, none if them ever reported as they were too embarrassed. He once followed me (I was riding) and put his hands down his trousers and I guess, started wanking. I turned my horse around and charged at him telling him I was going to report him to the police which I did. It turns out he had MH problems and was well known for sexual behaviour towards young girls (even though I'm in my 30's!). He was arrested and a plea put out for other people to come forwards,, which they did.

I'm glad I did it, even though I wasn't scared, if it had been one of the young girls, it could've had worse consequences. It just goes to show your instincts are nearly always correct.

I think I would have turned and walked into a shop and asked them to call the police/mall security and wait with me until the bloke was removed.

It sounds like you did exactly the right thing at the time.

I think it would be a good idea to let the Police know - you never know when these things will prove useful to them.

Don't let him haunt you though.

Your instincts were great!

I have occasionally had odd experiences (fortunately none as scary as yours) where the man has become aggressive when I refused to go along with whatever he wanted. In each case it simply underlined the fact that my instincts were correct.

A completely NT and innocent person (ie someone with completely innocent intentions) would not start swearing at you in the situation you describe. I am thinking of some of the men I know, for example DP, who might feel a bit sad that society is what it is but would most certainly not start shouting abuse at you.

His reaction was absolutely not your fault and was in no way justified by anything you said or did. It's often social pressure, actually, that forces us to override our instincts and go along with a situation for fear of appearing rude.

Tell the police, you never know, he could be a random unpleasant person or the CCTV could fit the description of someone they're interested in. Let the police decide whether it's worth reporting or not.

I hope you feel better soon. Remember: you did the right thing. It's your choice whether you want to get in any lift, or talk to any random person, whenever, wherever. How they choose to react to your choice is up to them and it's not your fault.

Keep following your instincts, keep in touch with them, they're a really great thing to have.

Please inform the police.If nothing else it'll help you tou talk it out with someone impartial.I bet you're out of mind with worry about 'what if' I know that I would be.Go with your gut feeling and phone them.You poor thing.Best of luck.

What everyone else said. Normal men in their 50s do not engage young mums in conversation in quiet areas, then press their attentions when it's clear they are unwanted . I live in a very friendly place, where talking to stranger is normal . But not the way it happened to you

Are you talking about the lifts in Cabot circus? There is cctv surrounding the whole place.

From an outsiders point of view what you describe doesn't automatically scream creep to me. "selfie' are everywhere, in the papers and magazines is it possible that the man was just trying to engage in friendly conversation with what could seem to be a trendy topic amongst young people? Which could explain the arsiness afterwards as I would take offence if somebody thought I was a creep.

I'm NOT saying that this is the case, I'm just giving a different angle. But in any case you was right to trust your instincts.

He seemed concerned that you had taking a selfie in which he would appear. That is very disturbing. As if he was planning something and wanted to make sure there was nothing on you that could identify him afterwards. Thank goodness you followed your instincts.

Instincts are there for a reason- the problems arise when we try and talk them down/act against them.
I would call 101. Could be nothing, could be something. Could be a big piece of a picture that they need, especially as there will be CCTV to check against your account for an ID.

grunt not necessarily. Not wanting to appear in someone's selfie does not mean you are planning to do something to that person.

I agree with everyone else. Well done you for being assertive and not going along with something that made you uncomfortable :)

If it had been (for example) my dh, the second you said anything, he would have realised he had made you uncomfortable and fallen over himself to apologise and say he should be taking the stairs anyway.

Anyone who reacts with anger or aggression when you don't go along with their expectations, is someone to be wary of. Normal people are polite and understanding. Nasty people are not.

I hope you inspire others to listen to their instincts and put their own safety before potentially offending someone else.

Monkey he may have been trying to engage in friendly conversation, but his aggressiveness is not on, swearing at op totally unacceptable and frightening, he was not being arsey. A normal person would have shrugged their should shoulders and thought oh well.

Thank you everyone for your advice! I filled out a form stating what had happened, with all my contact details, on the Avon and Somerset Police website. So if they feel they want to look into it then they can. Thank you all for your help

threeYorkshires you beat me to it! That book will very clearly show you that you were 100% correct in your assumptions. It is a superb book and will help you sort out your feelings about this.

I would send you mine but I have lent it so someone.

Well done for reporting.

aero I know him being aggressive was unacceptable. I was just trying to hazard a guess as to why he became so aggressive. Possibly because he felt like he was being branded a dangerous creep when he was just trying to be nice (not that this excuses it) or possibly he was genuinely a dangerous creep with awful intentions.

Trying to see this from his POV here, if I was waiting for a lift (normal) standing behind a lady (normal) and decided to start idle conversation (normal) and was met with indirect accusations of being some sort of predatory monster then I would be really annoyed I wouldn't get as aggressive as this man did but I would Still be pretty pissed off.

I'm not saying that this was all just innocent and OP has misunderstood but it is a possibility and some replies on here seem to suggest that it isn't a possibility at all, that he WAS going to do something bad.

Are you for real monkey?
You have the right not to engage in chit chat. I love small talk. But if I talk to someone who doesn't want to engage I have the common sense and decency to respect their boundaries. I would not be pissed off in the slightest and I wouldn't call them a bitch for not conversing with me.
Besides she did converse politely. He was a wanker