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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask how you would deal with these nasty children

69 replies

ChristmasYoni · 04/08/2014 21:14

Home from a 13 hour shift, stressed and wanting to relax in my garden with a cup of tea and a cigarette. Kids in the garden opposite looking through the fence shouting a whole array of comments at me such as telling me I'm fat, I need to fix my hair etc. Now started throwing chips over the fence at me.
Trying to ignore them by callin my little old nan for a chat but they're annoyingly mimicking every word I say.
I know it's petty to be annoyed but being insulted in my own garden is so infuriating.
Their parents are rather...rough to put it nicely. As in saying something to the children would result in getting an earload from the parents and knocking to complain would probably result in a punch to the nose!
I've now came inside and I'm really pissed off move basically let myself be bullied into my own house by a fan of 10ish year olds but argh!
What would you do??

OP posts:
Original poster
ChristmasYoni · 04/08/2014 21:15

I've * not move. Autocorrect on phone sorry!

OP posts:
Ohwhatfuckeryisthis · 04/08/2014 21:18

I'd be "watering" my garden.
Or having a bonfire.

coppertop · 04/08/2014 21:18

I would be watering the garden with a hose but trying really hard not to let the water squirt through/over the fence. After all, it would be such a shame if someone got soaked, wouldn't it? Wink

Yamyoid · 04/08/2014 21:19

That's really awful. Can't think of anything immediate sorry as I'm a wuss and couldn't cope with that but can you put up a bigger fence without gaps? What about that bamboo stuff that's not too expensive but great for privacy.

Original poster
ChristmasYoni · 04/08/2014 21:21

Haha thanks for the tips so far. Unfortunately no hose pipe,decided to be lazy and buy artificial grass so no need to water anything. Have bamboo up actually but still slight gaps to see through and unfortunately fence is low enough for them to see over when they're standing on then landfill/rubbish dump in their garden argh!

OP posts:
limon · 04/08/2014 21:23

Hose pipe?

SaucyJack · 04/08/2014 21:31

If they start laughing at you, then play up to it and put on a deliberate performance to give them even more to laugh at. Eg if they're mocking you on the phone then start talking in a silly voice yourself, or if they call you a fat pig make grunting noises.

Not for their entertainment or to make friends mind. Purely to take the power away from them and their insults.

catgirl1976 · 04/08/2014 21:31

I'd take to dressing in a really scary clown costume, waiting till dusk and then sneaking up on the little feckers in a really sinister way and laughing manically at them.

Possibly don it and peer through their bedroom windows at night whilst pointing to them in a really scary way

Finish them off by leaving weird bone and leaves type offerings in the garden by the fence a la Blair Witch and scratching odd symbols into their side of the fence.

Obviously this might get you arrested but I would be sorely tempted.

coppertop · 04/08/2014 21:33

Download some truly awful music (along the lines of "Cilla Black's Greatest Hits") and leave it playing on repeat in the garden.

AyMamita · 04/08/2014 21:35

I'd pepper spray them, then deny it.

gamerchick · 04/08/2014 21:36

Maybe one of those things that emit this high pitch only the young can here. I've heard they are quite good.

greeneggsandjam · 04/08/2014 21:37

A whole bag of oven chips sprinkled in their garden tonight? Pref uncooked.

Dieu · 04/08/2014 21:39

Fucking wee shites. I am infuriated on your behalf. I'd be tempted to tape what they say and post the recording through the door, with a note attached for the parents. Summat along the lines of: just thought you'd want to know about the harassment I've been subjected to by your children. Please sort this out or I will take my copy to the police. Definitely keep a journal at least and don't let it lie. You deserve to enjoy your garden in peace.

bubalou · 04/08/2014 21:39

You poor thing. I would record / track incidents as this and log it all.

Keep it as evidence and report it to whoever you thinks best.

Council, police, housing association etc.

Smile
Original poster
ChristmasYoni · 04/08/2014 21:39

Loving some of these ideas! Actually have an awful clown mask in a cupboard upstairs haha

OP posts:
BudsBeginingSpringinSight · 04/08/2014 21:40

With rough neighbours like that, one can only imagine what the delightful parents are like..I would not retaliate.

Two things, firstly, surprise them by being nice....one day go out with a big jolly smile...and a huge bag of sweets and say, now, would your parents let you have these sweets. they were left over from x y z and I wont eat them, would you like them?

that will, or any act of kindness will totally take them by surprise..what about even buying them something to occupy them like a swing ball?????? say I brought this for x y z and they dont want it.....

then knock at parents...soooo sorrry to bother you,...hope you dont mind gave them some sweets /swing ball.....( not foot ball as will knock into your garden)....dont stay for a chat be quick and polite.

NEXT STEP MUST GET PROPER HUGE FENCE......WITH NO GAPS....AND TALL THEY WILL ONLY GET MUCH WORSE AS GET OLDER.

IMurderedStampyLongnose · 04/08/2014 21:43

What are oven chips gonna do?Op I would actually get a hose for the sole purpose of hosing the wee shits and then deny it.Dont let them bully you!

Original poster
ChristmasYoni · 04/08/2014 21:43

Have started to keep a record thanks. Already pissed off with their dog that they lock put barking until past midnight each night which wakes my dc up numerous times. The annoying thing is that the ONE time we have had guests around sitting in the garden having a drink on a Saturday night the dad opened the window to tell us to be quiet (we were only talking no music etc) at 9.30pm. Yet the kids are normally out there screeching til 11 with music blasting and the parents are no more respectful shouting their heads off until late at night. Typical annoying neighbours but we put up with it. Shame they can't be as courteous .

OP posts:
BudsBeginingSpringinSight · 04/08/2014 21:44

btw I had situation with rough neighbours - at first I asked for music to be turned down, they were not english so harder to communicate....but there was tension.

I was so desperate when it was queit on the trot for two days ( yes all of two days) I actually brought them some beer and gave it to them and said thank you for keeping noise down( they didn't do it deliberativelt probably just out) HOWEVER.........

It broke the tension...and it made them feel more obliged to try and keep noise down!

Honeslty - its a good trick! Try it....you wont win escalating agaisnt a bunch of kids like that...

SharkBearGator · 04/08/2014 21:44

Clown mask ... please?

Dieu · 04/08/2014 21:45

Can see where you're coming from Buds, and understand the 'kiiling them with kindness' idea, but I would struggle with this approach as it would feel like I was rewarding them for their behaviour. It might really work but it would stick in my throat! And then what if it didn't work and they decided to be nasty again, but this time upping the ante a bit. Hmm, difficult one.

Lepaskilf · 04/08/2014 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

greeneggsandjam · 04/08/2014 21:46

I just like the idea of throwing uncooked oven chips over the garden so it makes a big mess. It would also be weird to wake up and find them sprinkled all over your garden.

I can have my ideas, leave me alone!

BudsBeginingSpringinSight · 04/08/2014 21:47

I promise it would work. because your not rubbing against them any more giving them anything to fight against.

it would give them loads of pleasure if she sprays them with water, is that when they get eggs out to pelt at her?

The pleasure from seeing their confused faces....its hard to be nasty to someone who has just been really nice.....ops pleasure comes from being sneaky and also getting some peace and quiet back.

Dieu · 04/08/2014 21:51

Okay, well what if we tweaked the approach slightly Bud, and the OP suggested to their parents that she needs a few jobs done in the garden/car washed, and she will pay them in sweets. That way she will get to know them a bit, and it will be harder for them to be nasty thereafter. I'm not sure it what I would do, but it might just work.