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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask how you would deal with these nasty children

69 replies

ChristmasYoni · 04/08/2014 21:14

Home from a 13 hour shift, stressed and wanting to relax in my garden with a cup of tea and a cigarette. Kids in the garden opposite looking through the fence shouting a whole array of comments at me such as telling me I'm fat, I need to fix my hair etc. Now started throwing chips over the fence at me.
Trying to ignore them by callin my little old nan for a chat but they're annoyingly mimicking every word I say.
I know it's petty to be annoyed but being insulted in my own garden is so infuriating.
Their parents are rather...rough to put it nicely. As in saying something to the children would result in getting an earload from the parents and knocking to complain would probably result in a punch to the nose!
I've now came inside and I'm really pissed off move basically let myself be bullied into my own house by a fan of 10ish year olds but argh!
What would you do??

OP posts:

BudsBeginingSpringinSight · 04/08/2014 23:12

I'm not saying you should condone their insults and bad behaviour. If they criticise your hair, smile and say "hey, that's rude, how would you like it if I criticized your hair?" - but keep smiling. If they don't get a hostile reaction, they will probably soon get bored of being hostile

totally agree and its also showing your not being bullied by a 10 year old you are in control not them.

I would do sweet, gift, then take this approach too, then get the big fence up......

greenbananas · 04/08/2014 23:14

Giving sweets is a bad idea though. You shouldn't be giving kids sweets without talking to parents first, for all sorts of reasons (e.g. people tell their kids not to accept sweets from strangers, and you don't want to undermine that; also they may be sensitive to too much sugar, or have food intolerance s you don't know about)

BudsBeginingSpringinSight · 04/08/2014 23:14

I agree with those saying be nice, kindly, friendly and they'll treat you with respect i bet your friend did it out of genuine kindness, i wouldnt, it would be to get what i want which is peace.

BudsBeginingSpringinSight · 04/08/2014 23:16

true....maybe a toy of some kind....i was thinking with sweets it was a good op to also talk to parents in a faux panic.....

but your right...cake maybe? cake is more neighbourly - op can bake for them , or some old toys of her children have a mini clear out and ask if they want them?

MrsWinnibago · 04/08/2014 23:18

Buds I do see your point (I never said Fuck off just fuck off though) but having lived on council estates for a good portion of my life, I know the type the OP describes.

She'd better buckle up for many letters to the housing association and calls to the non emergency number if she's not able to give as good as she gets.

I've had to stand up to people like this a few times in the last 40 years and really, the only thing that has worked was lowering myself briefly to their standards.

Not nice but faster than the other options.

greenbananas · 04/08/2014 23:22

You don't need to give them anything like sweets or cake (although if you genuinely have something like outdoor toys you don't need, that might be appropriate?)

It's the respect that's important. Smiling and treating them like human beings. Seeing the good in them.. there is bound to be some good in them.

butterflyroom · 04/08/2014 23:22

Sounds hard but seriously just ignore. No eye contact, no speaking. Continue as if they aren't there. Totally ignore. I promise they will get bored and pack it in. Any reaction at all will amuse them. This will take time but not too long. IMO it's the best way.

Lally112 · 04/08/2014 23:30

Go and speak to their parents anyway. Rough or not they might get a clip round the lughole and learn not to be so fucking rude.

brokenhearted55a · 04/08/2014 23:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhizzFucker · 04/08/2014 23:43

Brick wall? (Tall one)

BudsBeginingSpringinSight · 04/08/2014 23:47

if she's not able to give as good as she gets.

But can op do this !! she ran in tonight and came on here!

I see where your coming from bananas, but i am not coming myself from genuine oh you delightful children position...i just want my garden back. lets try subtle bribery....

BudsBeginingSpringinSight · 04/08/2014 23:47

Go and speak to their parents anyway. Rough or not they might get a clip round the lughole and learn not to be so fucking rude

I think its more likely op will get clip round ear for daring to critise their dc.

greenbananas · 04/08/2014 23:55

Going to speak to parents is not necessarily a bad idea. But maybe be upfront with the kids about the fact that you will have to do it, then talk to the parents non-confrontational my, more in sorrow than in anger, if you see what I mean.

If you start from the position of being really sorry that you have to tell them, as you know that all children play up sometimes, but you are sure the parents would be horrified to know what they have been doing, and felt it was only fair to the children to say something because of course the parents will want to make sure they don't say this kind of thing to anyone else... You might well shame the parents into being on your side (pick your moment though)

greenbananas · 04/08/2014 23:56

Sorry about all the typos in that, probably didn't make much sense!

Boomerwang · 05/08/2014 00:14

Get the phone/camera out next time and video it. They might not stop, they might get lairy, but you'll have evidence if you need it in future. Don't post it online though, I've a feeling 10 year olds would be protected.

FloozeyLoozey · 05/08/2014 01:22

I'd probably tell them to fuck off and call them ugly little bastards or something. Or get something to shoot them with (legal!).

Maymay07 · 05/08/2014 01:30

Is moving house a possibility?

PopularNamesInclude · 05/08/2014 01:35

What Mrs Winnibago said.

whois · 05/08/2014 08:25

Oh god don't chuck water over them, that would just initiate some kind of war which you are going to loose.

It will be pricey but i'd get a massive fuck off dense at the max height allowed (6"6 I think).

You also might want to keep a log and record if you did decide to try and make a complaint to their landlord/housing association or something.

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