Advice you'd love to give to people but can't.

[MrsWinnibago]

My neighbour is a lovely young woman in her mid-20s. She has one baby DD and an ex DP who is on-off-on-off with her.

He lives in his own house not far away and dips in and out of her life...he pops up more often when she has money.

She's beautiful and would be able to meet a much nicer man but she continues to hope that he will get it together and move in with her. She doesn't see that he's shite and never visits their DD regularly or contributes. I want to tell her to go out a bit more...meet some nice man who will be more committed.

But you can't can you? What advice do you have for people in your life that you just can't give?

Put your children to bed at a reasonable time if you want them to behave better / concentrate at school.

Dear friend...ffs stop making arrangements then breaking them with some truly shite excuses,I won't stop being your friend if we don't see eachother much, I've got other friends, but I might if you keep lying (yes, it's fucking lying) about why you can't make it.

Oh and you're beautiful, funny and interesting, your bf is a fucking prick get rid.

"If you don't stop eating like you are, you'll have a heart attack and possibly die before you're 30. Either that or diabetes will be on the cards"

24 year old female who sits beside me at work and eats more food than I thought it possible for a person to eat, every day.

It's actually sad and worrying.

to certain relatives - when I've spent time and effort preparing a meal for you, it would be polite if you could remember to thank me. Perhaps even tell me it's a good meal. Lie if you have to. I'll never know

To C, if you give your kids cola, of course they will play up! Actually your kids are fine, you're just being a drama queen. And yes your husband will run off with another woman, he has form and he will do it again and break your heart so LTB.

To N, I am glad we're no longer friends but I am sad to see you have alienated yet another important person in your life. I really liked your kids and it's a shame you don't give them much thought when you sever ties with people they are fond of.

And to my mum, I am so proud of you for pursuing our dream and taking two months out to do it. I still worry you're going to be eaten by a penguin though.

I would like to tell my ex husband that we only get one shot at a relationship with our children and that he's fucking it up big time and the children resent him and are angry at him and are fast moving towards not wanting to have anything to do with him. It's just not fair on them, is it?

Please tone it down a bit - we like you, but the 'I'm crazy I am' routine isn't necessary and not always appropriate....

S - you will never ever meet the man you want to meet because he doesn't exist. Why not start spending time with real, ordinary people? You never know, you might actually like them. And stop talking over me all the fucking time.

C - leave him. He wants to shag your best mate. You know this. You two can't even look at each other these days. Your marriage has been over for years. Just leave him.

K - leave him. He's lied and lied and lied. And hit you. You deserve SO MUCH better than him.

M - yes, your relationship with your ds is pretty much shot to pieces. If you took your head out of your arse for five seconds you'd work out why. Everyone thinks you're a useless, lying, pointless twat, btw. HTH.

All of these are to different people.....

• you cannot talk to the dead, no one can. You are an embarrassment.
• you have hurt your db more than you can ever imagine with your disgusting and thoughtless behaviour.
• please stop drinking.
• constantly talking about how much money you have, and posting all over FB about it, is vulgar, crass and makes you look like a right twat.
• don't be so cautious, life is for living. Take chances!