Aibu to be angry at dh for reading my messages ?

[woollyandtig]

Sorry it's facebook related . Dh decided to have a good old nosy through my messages and shock horror doesn't like them all.
He is sulking not said 2 words to me . And acting as if I have betrayed him.
messages where between me and my closest friend discussing childhood romance's there was a good reason behind that. And a message between me and another old friend who happens to be male . That one could be missread but the jist of it is him saying he had always wanted to ask me out and I said I wonder what would have happened it proceeded and was jokey it was of course purely hypothetical.

I know this sounds stupid and honestly it is but aibu for being angry or is he ?

Well you shouldn't have it open to him.
He shouldn't snoop
eavesdroppers always always find things they don't like or can be read badly, or sometimes even are bad.

I don't know. Let him have his huff as long as it doesn't drag. Would you feel ok if you'd read the same?

yabu. how would you feel if he was talking to a woman about "if" they had shacked up

Yabu, the "jokey" content of your conversation is very inappropriate.

Sounds like your messages may have been inappropriate/flirty.

Of course he shouldn't have been going through your messages however. Was there a reason he did it? Was he feeling suspicious?

He has cheated in the past so I know the feeling all too well. The message where beyond jokey it was obviously light hearted.
I can see why he is upset but its his fault for snooping .
I didn't leave it open to him he actually reset my password to snoop .
Im more just annoyed that because of something so innocent and daft me and the kids will have to put up with his mood.

YABU

It was facebook - a social network, messages are not private
... or are you going to "unfriend" your DH in future?

As others have said; how would you feel if he did the same?

I think I would have felt very hurt if my husband had done a hypothetical what if with a girl from his past in the present.

Be honest with yourself and reverse it and you read something like that between your partner and a lady friend?

Why was he looking though?

I should really expand on the message it was along the lines of maybe we would have kids , yes but only if you can cook a good fried egg . that pretty much sums the message up. No what ifs or imagine if this had happened.

And the friend in question was never anything more he was in relationship with my friend for 7 years.

milbracat it was private messages , and dh isn't on facebook he hates it apparently.

drip drip drip.

The pair of you sound like complete nightmares. Perhaps a little growing up all round would be in order.

Did you say something in the message that you wouldn't have said if the three of you (you, him & your dh) were in the room together? If so, Yabu.

I don't think he is suspicious he certainly has no need to be. I never go anywhere without him or the baby , which is whats annoying me most my tablet and mobile is always around he can check what he likes but why reset my password and spend 2 hours reading my messages ?

He can't see the mote in your eye for the beam in his.

Cheaters often think everyone else is cheating. He's got form, you haven't.

milbracat How am I dripping I said from the start it was in a message ?

ThatSmellsLikePoo Thanks that is very helpful

Thats a very good point Fairenuff I would have said the same I think , im sarcastic alot and dh knows this. But I suppose it's hard to do sarcasm through a message.

Wtf. He read your private messages? I would be wanting an apology from HIM. He totally intruded in your privacy. How is that ok?

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted He has ironically joined a "gym" last week so 4 nights a week he is out for hours. It wouldn't surprise me if he was up to his old tricks last cheating was when our oldest dd was around age the baby is now :(.

How is the rest of your relationship?

Sounds like at best he is judging you by his own standards.

Thank you Discobugsacha that's what I am feeling just now he read every single message , its so intrusive .

Why is everyone acting like you're the bad guy? He snooped on your messages. You should be in a huff with him.

wafflyversatile shitty tbh he is constantly moody , angry and just not a nice person its like walking on eggshell's everyday. Im the idiot that lets him do as he pleases to keep the peace .

I'd agree he probably is and is trying to deflect attention or blame any split on you.

woollyandtig You were dripping because several significant details were in several subsequent posts. The fact he reset your password to read the messages, the messages were private and not public ones, the message were less flirty than might be initially assumed.

He's an arse.