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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be pissed off that mnhq claim they don't like to delete threads but do it constantly?

123 replies

slithytove · 03/08/2014 20:40

Another one has just gone. One which could have done with staying and just having certain posts deleted.

Not even a deletion message.

Ffs.

OP posts:

zzzzz · 03/08/2014 23:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

slithytove · 03/08/2014 23:14

Zzzz thank you for saying that. I was worried I'd made it worse and hurt people more.

sorry to all those hurting.

I will be firmly on your side of the fence next thread.

OP posts:

SqueakySqueak · 03/08/2014 23:15

You can't treat people with SN the same as people who are NT all the time.

This is why my posts keep getting misinterpreted. Obviously something is lost in translation.

I don't know how to explain that I treat SN the same as NT without everyone thinking I'm going up to someone with ASD and demanding they stop stimming, because I'd find it annoying if an NT person did it. That's not what I mean, that's not what I do.

I'm not NT myself and I get upset when people treat me "differently". So, what you want to take away from that, I don't know.

I'm hiding the thread. I'm beyond frustrated trying to explain without people wanted to get offended.

thornrose · 03/08/2014 23:21

Hmm, how did I know which thread this was going to be about? I didn't say much on the thread but Fanjo.

Koothrapanties · 03/08/2014 23:25

Fanjo I hope I didn't make things worse by asking if you would move your child away in that situation, I was just trying to understand a bit better. I'm sorry to hear you were so upset by the thread, to you and anyone else who found it upsetting.

I missed the later posts, but it was all pretty crappy from what I saw. I can't believe the op was a troll, what do you get from doing that???

Becca19962014 · 03/08/2014 23:49

Not intending to derail the conversation you are having about the upsetting thread (i didn't read it) but I'm glad you made this thread, I'm fairly new here and had been searching for threads about a situation I am experiencing, I've had a few page doesn't exist type pages coming up and wondered if it was me. Now I know this is somewhere that deletes threads I understand why it is happening.

Though why the threads appear in searches is a bit of a mystery!

Original poster

slithytove · 03/08/2014 23:52

If a thread is deleted you should get something like This

Sometimes there is a picture of a biscuit for older ones.

OP posts:

Becca19962014 · 04/08/2014 00:22

No it wasn't like that. But I think I remember seeing a biscuit. Thanks.

ICanSeeTheSun · 04/08/2014 00:52

It's not up to posters to educate about SN, as a mother with a child with asd I don't want or need sympathy or for other people to tut and stare. I just want to be able to go into tesco with him do a shopping trip and people to have a bit of empthay.

It's hard enough coping but ill informed people spitting vile when they talk and have got a fucking clue what they are on about makes it worst.

Perhaps read the MN campaigns as linked below.

www.mumsnet.com/campaigns/this-is-my-child

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 04/08/2014 07:21

Also I hope that a certain poster who came on thread agreeing with troll and bitched about "us all" seeing disablism everywhere reads this and realises that they were agreeing with a troll. And that there was disablism there.

But no wish to resurrect the discussion again.

EveDallasRetd · 04/08/2014 07:47

Morning Fanjo, hope you are feeling better this morning.

I'd like to ask you something, if I may?

I've seen you say before about the 'shouldn't have to educate/teach' thing, and agree with you that it must be wearing/upsetting. I wonder though, it that just when the thread(s) have become bunfights/full of disablism crap?

The reason I ask, DD was previously in a class with 2 children with SNs. In general she didn't blink an eye but the one lad started 'flapping' (I know there's a better word for it but it's gone right out of my head, sorry) and was getting scared by it. I gate crashed a thread here and asked what was the best way to explain it to her without insulting the child/parent and was advised to explain it as something he did that he couldn't help, like getting hiccups. That explanation worked really well with DD, it stopped her being scared and 'normalised' his behaviour. DD actually started using the explanation herself to other kids and it seemed to make things easier.

Would you have been insulted if I had asked you the question? and if so, where do you think would be a good resource for me to use if something like this came up again?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 04/08/2014 07:53

No I wouldn't mind that question. :)

I think the NAS website has information that would help :)

I am OK today thanks..am heading off to work.

EveDallasRetd · 04/08/2014 08:10

Thanks Fanjo, have a good day.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 04/08/2014 08:15

I dont think flapping is so much involuntary as the child either enjoys it, or it relieves stress, or he is happy.

Hard to know which though.

My DD is happy and flappy.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 04/08/2014 08:23

Look up " stimming" if you have time..sounds more like that than an involuntary tic

Thumbwitch · 04/08/2014 08:43

I know this is sort of deviating away from the main topic of this thread but going back to the actual question - MNHQ will always delete troll threads if they can prove they're trolls, and so they should. They will also usually delete threads that are upsetting people; but they won't always delete threads just because they're asked to, not even by the OP, unless there is good reason (like risking someone's anonymity or safety).

ArsenicFaceCream · 04/08/2014 09:03

Self-stimulating behaviours (stimming) are compulsive (and look it). They get more pronounced with anxiety.

ouryve · 04/08/2014 10:22

DS2 stims a lot when he's excited, eg if he's watching a video on his nook or watching the numbers progress on the Blu-ray player timer. He tends to jump and shout and squeal and slap his thighs.

Tried but failed to find a video of something similar, but this is gorgeous :)

thornrose · 04/08/2014 10:30

That video made me smile and laugh and cry a little bit hormones! I want to frolick.

My dd used to love spinning and hanging upside down.

She also had a lot of tics, which don't give her pleasure, they still reappear from time to time when she's anxious.

ouryve · 04/08/2014 10:41

I quite fancy a frolic, but DS1 would probably yell at me to stop.

ouryve · 04/08/2014 10:44

And yes - tics are horrid. I've had them and hated them and DS1 was plagued by them when he was going through a particularly stressful period earlier this year and found them quite distressing.

CaptChaos · 04/08/2014 10:51

I love that video. The young man she frolicks with reminds me so much of ds2.

We like a nice frolick when he's having trouble with anxiety. Bouncing is good too. His favourite stim right now is playing guitar. He's bloody amazing.

ouryve · 04/08/2014 12:25

Excited stims! (ignore the lego wheels all over the floor and the fact that I couldn't keep up with him with my webcam, without attracting his attention!)
www.flickr.com/photos/90690617@N06/14803364496/lightbox/

He's loud. He does that behind little old ladies when we're out shopping and makes them jump

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