Daughter's hair

[Vicky5910]

First timer!

AIBU to get annoyed when other people do my DDs hair? She is wild and active and I always just brush it up into a ponytail to keep it out of her way. She is nearly 4.

But any chance they get, SILs give her cutesy little plaits or a bun or something. I feel like it's a waste of her time and teaching her that her looks are too important. She doesn't mind really, she's a people pleaser.

So AIBU to be bothered?

Yabu. Really it isn't a big deal.

Dd is the same age, also wild and active - aren't they all? Having a plait or a bun doesn't stop her doing anything. If you find her long hair a pain why not cut it short?

If she doesn't mind, then I don't think it's an issue. Braids or a bun are up out of her way just as much as a ponytail is. I don't see how it's teaching her looks are too important. They're not putting makeup on her, they're just fixing her hair.

I think this is an odd thing to be bothered about, you are her mum, you need to get her ready quickly, up it goes in a ponytail. They have more time, might chat with her while doing it and it looks nice, what is there to complain about? If your dd is happy with it, it's fine. It's also very relaxing having your hair brushed/plaited, my kids do my hair sometimes, it's really fun.

YABU, it's fine, really.

YABU

Plaits are do much more effective at keeping hair out of her face. Plus if your SIL is as good as my DSis then you can leave them in for a few days. Win-win

It's not teaching your DD anything. It's just hair.

Dd has a mixed hair style never 2 days the same. Today is down and she has been in the pool so really a mess.
Yesterday she was at a party so it was in pigtails with big frilly bobbles and clips with glitter spray.

YABU. Totally.

How on earth does putting a 4 year old's hair in a bun make them feel looks are overly important?

Plaits and a bun are also practical too. I think I would see your point if she bleached it and curled it and hairsprayed it but she didn't. Today my hair is in a side plait, my clothing is old jeans and chaps and a (not so waterproof) raincoat because I'm bonding with my new horse. Nothing about my look today says I consider looks important.

I am shit with hair thus Dd's hair is a ponytail. If I had any semblance of know how I'd do plaits etc. they always look neater.

I would pick your battles if I were you, this is not worth causing a scene over.

Gosh, just relax!! SIL and your DD might both enjoy it... Most kids like being made a fuss of.

My dd has long hair. I plait it when I have time - she prefers it this way as it keeps the tangles out and gets in her way less than a pony tail. She can't plait it herself, so has a pony tail if we're in a rush.

We do a bun every now and then, but it takes longer. She would tell you it's the best for keeping it out of her way!

Yabu

I think it's a nice thing for your SILs to do with your DD.

I have lovely memories of my sister doing my hair up into a bun with a colour co ordinated scrunchie. I had bum length long hair and my mum would only do a plait.

This didn't stop me being a tomboy either. I just felt quite special.

YANBU! My neighbour is lovely but she's always saying to DD aged 6 "come round to mine and I'll do your hair." because I let it go a bit wild...it's curly ffs!

I bet left to her own devices, my neighbour would straighten it and cover her head in multiple rosettes.

Plaits and buns are VERY practical and it is very useful when you have long hair, to be able to style it in a variety of ways - that's the benefit of having long hair. It's nothing to do with how pretty it looks!

Relax, and learn how to do a few extra style on her yourself.

YABU. Plaits and buns are out of the way too and they aren't teaching her that looks are important any more than you are with your 'cutsey frivolity is not for the likes of you' ponytail regime.

My Mum wasn't allowed hair below her earlobes as a kid because 'looks aren't important' and 'what do you want with that nonsense' from my Grandma. If looks are not important then why can't she have plaits or a bun?

Soontobesix. Not really on to call someone unhinged for something like this. I have reported your post.

My exSIL does this all the time and the only thing I ever feel is envious that I can't do half the lovely stuff she can!

YABU and odd

DD has very long hair and I plait it generally. My DM does it any which way and tbh it saves me a job.

Plaits and buns are very practical for long hair and it doesn't really pass on any message unless they say "I'm plaiting your hair so you can become a handmaiden of the patriarchy" or something similar while they're doing it.

My dd is the same as yours by the sounds of it, but I often do different things with her hair. She has to wear it up for school so most days it's an easy ponytail, other times it's a bun or plaits or whatever. She stil maintains her active style and often comes home with leaves and dirt in her hair so she's certainly not worried about her looks when she's having fun! I wouldn't worry about it OP. It's nice for her aunt to spend that time with her I think.

Yabu - it doesn't give her any message other than some people can do fancy hair. Ridiculous.

What are the SILs saying as they do your DD's hair. And why are they doing it?

It it's 'come here and I'll do your hair properly/make you look pretty etc', I'd b annoyed. If she is staying at theirs and they are getting her ready, I'd not be faffed.

YABU. I have always loved having my hair done. It feels lovely and it felt special. :)