To think this is grabby?

[Cazm2]

SIL is expecting firstborn and having baby shower. This is being organised by two people there are near on 40 people coming!! People have been asking what presents to give and get organisers have been pointing people in direction of what SIL wants as she has already bought everything. Then SIL has provided a list if things she would like!!! Specifically clothes a sling etc she doesn't know what she is having so would rather give clothes once baby born do more gender specific, now been pointed in the direction of a certain shop which is selling clothing range with character that SIL has done the nursery in. AIBU in that you should be grateful for any presents you get and sometimes receiving duplicates of things is part and parcel of life when you have a baby. I had small shower and small gifts never gave a list or expected anything thoughts please?

I just think a gift list in this situation is a sad opportunity lost in a way - when women, especially women with children give you gifts for your baby - I see it as them kind of 'sharing' their wisdom with you in the form of giving you things their kids really liked or they enjoyed having.

I agree, and I would never buy a gift that I thought was silly baby wipes warmer. I always buy something that I found useful. I think most people here look at the registry as suggestion, you can always buy whatever you prefer.

If people are asking what they can buy I really don't see an issue with your SIL telling them. I currently have two lists on my phone - things I need to buy in the next couple of months - which I can hold off buying and a lot of friends have offered to lend me hence not buying them just yet. Then I have my 'nice to have' list - so things which are not essential but if people ask I will go for something off that list as I may not have the funds for it and it is not essential, or not needed just yet.

I am not having a baby shower (unless there is a surprise I am unaware of!) but would not expect my friends to buy two presents - as I said further up the thread - if I am invited to one I will probably buy a present then but not repeat once baby has arrived depending on the friendship. If they are a close friend will buy something for mum and then for baby later on.

I often ask new parents/parents to be what they would like as there may well be something they are wanting but can't justify buying it themselves and so they end up with something useful. Especially with baby number 2!

Ive only ever been involved in surprise baby showers. The 'tradition' amoungst my group seems to be that you get one (whether you like it or not) but you don't know anything about it.

So even though i didn't really want one, i knew id get one, and i ended up actually enjoying it.

Not for shower, but in general, if someone asked what they could get us for the baby, i tried to give them an idea of what we needed but only low cost items except close friends and family who i knew wanted to get some of the bigger things and i suggested they club together for x rather than assuming they wanted to spend loads.

dont see the problem with telling someone what you want/need if they ask.