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Original poster

To be sad that my DD thinks I'm 'not as cool as X's Mum'

79 replies

CambridgeBlue · 01/08/2014 21:36

I turn myself inside out trying to make sure she has a good summer holiday, working long hours in a job I often hate so I can be there for her as much as I can, and trying to plan nice stuff we can do together or for her to do when I have to work. I give her more freedom than I would prefer because I know how important it is to fit in. I dress reasonably fashionably and think I am pretty good fun but it's not bloody enough.

In addition DH looks after her for one day because I have a meeting I can't get out of, despite me making all the rest of the holiday childcare arrangements, and now he's the best thing since sliced bread.

I know kids can be selfish and thoughtless but I can't help feeling really sad. Bloody 12 year olds who think the world revolves around them :(

OP posts:
Wadingthroughsoup · 01/08/2014 23:38

Crying laughing at AgentZigzag's Michael Jackson resemblance.

Mrsjayy · 01/08/2014 23:43

Oh you are doing your job right if your 12yr old thinks you are uncool other parents are always nicer trendier spend more money blah blah parenting is a thankless task sometimes dont take it to heart, dd1 friends thought I was cool at 12 I was just a bit younger than their mums and had a couple of extra holes in my ears dd didnt think I was cool and nearly died when I had red and black hair.

AgentZigzag · 01/08/2014 23:51

I did roffle a bit myself when she said Wading Grin

I can slightly see the lad's point, white face, dark hair, always wears sunglasses, I've been called vamp/goth before (which I'm not), Mike was probably the only one he could think of to describe me Grin

He was using it to bully DD anyway, little shit, so that goes double for laughing at him.

Softlysoftlycatchymonkey · 01/08/2014 23:57

Honestly as the mother of an 19 year old , the best thing is to be standard.

Not her best mate, not hitler just big standard mum.

Idd1 went to a posh school and all the other girls mums were fab. Until she realised she just needed me. Plain old mum who would be there to pick her up,dry her tears, wash her clothes, get make up stains out of her fav top. Stability and normality is the key .

Wadingthroughsoup · 02/08/2014 00:01

Grin Agent My children's peers have not yet, to my knowledge, compared me to any deceased male pops stars. I expect it'll happen one day. Boo to the bully though.

AgentZigzag · 02/08/2014 00:06

I suppose if I had to choose though I'd prefer to be compared to Mike (dead, alive or undead) than Pete Andre Grin

No scope for twisting it into a weird complement with him is there?

LondonRocks · 02/08/2014 00:07

Lovely post, TheCat

EBearhug · 02/08/2014 00:12

Aren't everyone else's parents always way cooler? Just like everyone else's parents allow TVs/computers/mobile phones in the bedroom, let them stay up late, give them loads more pocket money, buy them inappropriate shoes/clothes, etc, etc.

All the other children will be making similar complaints to their parents, and you'll be the cool one to some of them.

It all sounds perfectly normal to me.

AgentZigzag · 02/08/2014 00:16

You don't comment on what you thought of your mums behaviour thecat, was that intentional?

Flirting with anyone you brought back? WTF??

thecatfromjapan · 02/08/2014 00:33

Agentzigzag; Personally, I think it was needy. And I think needy can look a lot like cool until you are experienced enough to be familiar with your own values.

Also, my point is that OP's dd may well think Mum A is cool, but Mum A's children will almost certainly have a different take on it all.

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/08/2014 02:36

I got deleted, Shock. First time... Shock WHHHHYYYYYYY?

ArsenicFaceCream · 02/08/2014 02:47

Gosh MrsT I thought it was a good inoffensive but no-nonsense post.

I even endorsed it Grin

EElisavetaofBelsornia · 02/08/2014 02:50

I was wondering that Mrs Terry!

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/08/2014 02:56

I'm going to do Shock face again. I think there was a swear in there. Please tell me we are still allowed to swear...

AgentZigzag · 02/08/2014 03:01

Oooh, swearing on MN MrsT, whatever next Grin

Cunts the lot of 'em Grin

How long have you been on MN without a deletion?

SqueakySqueak · 02/08/2014 03:03

Ha! Mom's aren't cool until you're an adult. It's just the way of life.

Your daughter wishes her friend's mother was her mom temporarily. But after the novelty wore off, she'd miss you again. Wink

I babysat kids that told their parents they wished I was their mom. Of course they did! I only had to watch them for a night and keep them entertained for a couple hours, and was a fun novelty since I was a switch up from their usual routine. But kids don't understand the importance of all the dull stuff like cooking, cleaning, making sure they do their homework, and general maintenance. They don't know any different so they take it for granted and assume that's just how it always is.

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/08/2014 04:48

Almost four Jeffing years without a deletion. I feel dirty.

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/08/2014 04:53

Actually more than four years. I did once request a deletion for myself because I thought I was being mean. I'm a bloody Girl Guide.

aWEEquestionn · 02/08/2014 05:43

Mums are supposed to be uncool

Original poster
CambridgeBlue · 02/08/2014 06:11

Thanks you lot, you've made me feel a lot better. Just having a bit of a crap time juggling life lately and an ungrateful preteen was the final straw. She's a good kid but getting a bit entitled - everything's boring, everyone else has/does more than her. DH says I should take a step back and stop trying so hard, think he's got a point.

OP posts:
Original poster
CambridgeBlue · 02/08/2014 06:13

PS MrsTerry I thought your comment was a bit harsh but saw your point, certainly didn't ask for it to be deleted.

OP posts:
Delphiniumsblue · 02/08/2014 07:22

It doesn't matter what you do, or how cool you seem to her friends, you are her mother and mothers are just not cool! Just be assured that she can have any number of cool friends. It she only gets one mother.

Delphiniumsblue · 02/08/2014 07:23

Auto correct-that was supposed to be but she only gets one mother.

Batmansbuttocks · 02/08/2014 07:35

Oh bless. Don't be hurt, this is normal. You are shockingly embarrassing and deeply uncool because you are her mum. End of.

My DS (out the other side, can cuddle me in public and shout 'I love you' in the street!) went through an awful phase at about 11/12. We had to go to his secondary school together for a meeting and he said that when we got there I must not 'look at him, talk to him or touch him'. He even walked there whilst I went in the car. He seemed to resent my being alive. I payed him back in the typical fashion learned from my own parents. When the headmaster finished his talk I gave a full standing ovation Grin what? I liked his talk! My DS didn't talk to me for a week.

We laugh about it and everything else now.

LiegeAndLief · 02/08/2014 07:42

Completely normal. No teenager (or nearly teenager) thinks their parents are cool. They are all excruciatingly embarrassed by your very existence.

Quite a few of my friends thought my mum was cool. I thought they were completely insane.

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