To be sad that my DD thinks I'm 'not as cool as X's Mum'

[CambridgeBlue]

I turn myself inside out trying to make sure she has a good summer holiday, working long hours in a job I often hate so I can be there for her as much as I can, and trying to plan nice stuff we can do together or for her to do when I have to work. I give her more freedom than I would prefer because I know how important it is to fit in. I dress reasonably fashionably and think I am pretty good fun but it's not bloody enough.

In addition DH looks after her for one day because I have a meeting I can't get out of, despite me making all the rest of the holiday childcare arrangements, and now he's the best thing since sliced bread.

I know kids can be selfish and thoughtless but I can't help feeling really sad. Bloody 12 year olds who think the world revolves around them :(

[Nerf]

Yup well I can confirm that dd tells me I am cool to her friends and it totally relates to my hairstyle. So, no deep thinking there.
Little Ds on the other hand told me that if I would only let him call me (name of teacher) he would love me more

[Egghead68]

It's your job as a mum to be uncool.

[Delphiniumsblue]

They eventually come through it!

[Batmansbuttocks]

Another tip when kids are naming mum's they think are cooler is to name kids YOU think are cooler (jokingly). "Mum, Joe's mum is sooooooo much cooler than you" "well life's unfair because I think Bradley is probably sooooooo much cooler than you as a son".

I guess you need to find it funny and not hurtful.

[LiegeAndLief]

Completely normal. No teenager (or nearly teenager) thinks their parents are cool. They are all excruciatingly embarrassed by your very existence.

Quite a few of my friends thought my mum was cool. I thought they were completely insane.

[Batmansbuttocks]

Oh bless. Don't be hurt, this is normal. You are shockingly embarrassing and deeply uncool because you are her mum. End of.

My DS (out the other side, can cuddle me in public and shout 'I love you' in the street!) went through an awful phase at about 11/12. We had to go to his secondary school together for a meeting and he said that when we got there I must not 'look at him, talk to him or touch him'. He even walked there whilst I went in the car. He seemed to resent my being alive. I payed him back in the typical fashion learned from my own parents. When the headmaster finished his talk I gave a full standing ovation what? I liked his talk! My DS didn't talk to me for a week.

We laugh about it and everything else now.

[Delphiniumsblue]

Auto correct-that was supposed to be but she only gets one mother.

[Delphiniumsblue]

It doesn't matter what you do, or how cool you seem to her friends, you are her mother and mothers are just not cool! Just be assured that she can have any number of cool friends. It she only gets one mother.

[CambridgeBlue]

PS MrsTerry I thought your comment was a bit harsh but saw your point, certainly didn't ask for it to be deleted.

[CambridgeBlue]

Thanks you lot, you've made me feel a lot better. Just having a bit of a crap time juggling life lately and an ungrateful preteen was the final straw. She's a good kid but getting a bit entitled - everything's boring, everyone else has/does more than her. DH says I should take a step back and stop trying so hard, think he's got a point.

[aWEEquestionn]

Mums are supposed to be uncool

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Actually more than four years. I did once request a deletion for myself because I thought I was being mean. I'm a bloody Girl Guide.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Almost four Jeffing years without a deletion. I feel dirty.

[SqueakySqueak]

Ha! Mom's aren't cool until you're an adult. It's just the way of life.

Your daughter wishes her friend's mother was her mom temporarily. But after the novelty wore off, she'd miss you again.

I babysat kids that told their parents they wished I was their mom. Of course they did! I only had to watch them for a night and keep them entertained for a couple hours, and was a fun novelty since I was a switch up from their usual routine. But kids don't understand the importance of all the dull stuff like cooking, cleaning, making sure they do their homework, and general maintenance. They don't know any different so they take it for granted and assume that's just how it always is.

[AgentZigzag]

Oooh, swearing on MN MrsT, whatever next

Cunts the lot of 'em

How long have you been on MN without a deletion?

[MrsTerryPratchett]

I'm going to do face again. I think there was a swear in there. Please tell me we are still allowed to swear...

[EElisavetaofBelsornia]

I was wondering that Mrs Terry!

[ArsenicFaceCream]

Gosh MrsT I thought it was a good inoffensive but no-nonsense post.

I even endorsed it

[MrsTerryPratchett]

I got deleted, . First time... WHHHHYYYYYYY?

[thecatfromjapan]

Agentzigzag; Personally, I think it was needy. And I think needy can look a lot like cool until you are experienced enough to be familiar with your own values.

Also, my point is that OP's dd may well think Mum A is cool, but Mum A's children will almost certainly have a different take on it all.

[AgentZigzag]

You don't comment on what you thought of your mums behaviour thecat, was that intentional?

Flirting with anyone you brought back? WTF??

[EBearhug]

Aren't everyone else's parents always way cooler? Just like everyone else's parents allow TVs/computers/mobile phones in the bedroom, let them stay up late, give them loads more pocket money, buy them inappropriate shoes/clothes, etc, etc.

All the other children will be making similar complaints to their parents, and you'll be the cool one to some of them.

It all sounds perfectly normal to me.

[LondonRocks]

Lovely post, TheCat

[AgentZigzag]

I suppose if I had to choose though I'd prefer to be compared to Mike (dead, alive or undead) than Pete Andre

No scope for twisting it into a weird complement with him is there?

[Wadingthroughsoup]

Agent My children's peers have not yet, to my knowledge, compared me to any deceased male pops stars. I expect it'll happen one day. Boo to the bully though.