Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shocked how many of you believe in karma?

107 replies

Fanfeckintastic · 01/08/2014 13:09

Do you really or do you just say things like "what goes around comes around" and talk of karma as a turn of phrase?

I'd like to think people are kind naturally and not because they're frightened of karma?

If you do really believe, then why? Is it not like believing in magic or something? For what it's worth I do think it's a nice thought and I wish it existed!

OP posts:
burgatroyd · 01/08/2014 18:27

I was raised as a Buddhist but karma has always been a sticking point for me. Deep down I don't believe there's a karmic justice system. I do believe in the Buddhist way of acceptance.

sebsmummy1 · 01/08/2014 18:30

And for the murderers who win the lottery, so what? When did money ever equate to happiness? They will come out and squander the money on drugs and alcohol, get ripped off by their druggie mates and probably murdered themselves by someone who wants what they have got.

morethanpotatoprints · 01/08/2014 18:32

Maybe people should ask you why you are so shocked?
I think people believe what they want to believe and Karma is a popular belief that many have.

burgatroyd · 01/08/2014 18:34

Perhaps though...another thought... In Buddhism there should be no ego, no I. If we hurt someone else we are hurting our consciousness. Nirvana is when one by one we let go of the concept of 'I' and selfishness and join the larger peaceful 'we' consciousness, one that isn't causing each other hurt and distress. This is another way at looking at karma. By causing distress to others we are hurting another piece of the puzzle at is our humanity.
In this way we can also look at reincarnation. The ego is not reincarnated but the chain of our consciousness...

TattyDevine · 01/08/2014 18:40

I am amazed how many people on here say it "karma will bite her in the bum one day" etc etc

Its not only bullshit but a sort of advance-shaudenfreud

It bugs.

AngieBolen · 01/08/2014 18:41

DH is a good person, who always does the right thing. Shit happens to him. Sometimes awful shit. He continues to do the right thing. And if another person has been responsible for DH's shit, it does seem that DH eventually comes out on top.

But I don't believe it's a simple as that, if you believe in God, it's much bigger, and longterm. In Gods eyes, a lottery win wouldn't be Kama for the death of a child. I'm not sure I can explain it.

mommy2ash · 01/08/2014 18:44

it's not that I think there is some cosmic check list out there but I do think you get back what you put out there and someone who is nasty will sooner or later see the effects of that in their lives

superstarheartbreaker · 01/08/2014 18:44

An example of karma; I was abused by my ex who didn't seem to give a shit that I had to drop out of uni and almost died.

5 years later he phoned up and apologised and said it took a failed marriage to realise what he'd done and he'd been to counselling as he hated himself so much.My first response? Karma!

Molly333 · 01/08/2014 20:05

I don't think people who say it really are serious in what they say , but have you considered that they may have been hurt so badly in fact shockingly so and have no way of the other person feeling as bad as they do . Some people hurt others so bad it has life long consequences and yes I understand them saying what they , it doesn't necessarily mean they believe it

scottishmummy · 01/08/2014 20:11

Of course I don't believe in karma

BestIsWest · 01/08/2014 20:16

I just think it's nice to be kind.

Aliceinvodkaland · 01/08/2014 20:17

come to the drunk thread we have free wine and them sausages on sticks!!

londonrach · 01/08/2014 20:36

It does exist....please...or else everything I've been though...and that horrible landlord...

scottishmummy · 01/08/2014 20:40

I think essentially many of you don't go for book learning or thinking very hard

Salmotrutta · 01/08/2014 21:02
Grin

Trust scottishmummy to cut to the chase...

Sleepswithbutterflies · 01/08/2014 21:12

I never used to but I had dc 1 very easily and didnt appreciate him at all. I had pnd depression and didnt bond with him very well for the first year.

Result? Can't have any more children. Karma for being ungrateful the first time round.

Original poster
Fanfeckintastic · 01/08/2014 21:18

You can't honestly think that sleeps??

I had am abortion, would you say I will suffer the same fate when I try? In all seriousness.

OP posts:
SqueakySqueak · 01/08/2014 21:41

Karma is actually about influencing your own future by slowly building brick by brick. So if you're a good person then your foundation will attract you a good future with good people. It doesn't mean if you steal a dollar you will get bad luck later. As PP's have mentioned people want there to be some sort of justice for people that are assholes, because coming to grips with the fact that life is unfair is hard. But it's not about weird coincidences, it's about nurturing the seeds you plant.

People attract like minded people, and hang out in groups with similar values. So if you are miserable, you will attract miserable people to commiserate with. If you are a nice person, you will generally attract nice people.

If you are generally nice to everyone, there is a good chance when you ask a favor, you won't be refused. Or if you need support people will be there for you. If you are an ass to everyone, there is a good chance people will avoid you. People will reciprocate how you treat them generally. That's all it really means.

So, in that sense, yes I believe in karma. I have good friends because I treat them well and do my best to do what good friends do. When I need support I have people I can go to, just as they know they can come to me.

scottishmummy · 01/08/2014 21:47

Utter rot

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 01/08/2014 21:48

As a teenager, i am ashamed to say I laughed at someone in a mobility scooter falling off a curb and into a bush.

Now i have my own. Karma.

...Na, i dont believe in karma really

Sleepswithbutterflies · 01/08/2014 21:54

Of course I wouldn't fan

I know that's not how it works for everyone but it's a bit weird how I got pregnant with ds easily and now have had two rounds of ivf and have been told I'm so infertile (or we are rather, as a couple) that even that won't work.
What is that but karma for not appreciating how lucky I was and cherishing ds when he was a baby instead of spending most of the first 12 months depressed and miserable?

Makes no sense except someone or something somewhere is teaching me a lesson.

Iconfuseus · 01/08/2014 22:13

I'm a Buddhist and I believe in Karma.

Unfortunately Karma is a concept which has been diluted and confused in the West and people who use the word, don't really understand what it means.

I think it's because most people in the West grow up influenced by Christianity and it's concept of sin and punishment. So they think that Karma is the same thing and that you get punished for being bad - it isn't.

I'm no expert of course but I'll try to explain it this way.

A lot of Buddhists understand Karma in this way. The mind has existed from the beginning of time, a bit like a stream. It passes through life after life. Negative actions you commit result in negative outcomes - somewhere along the stream. Not necessarily in the same lifetime.

So a person can live what appears to be a terrible life doing lots of harm to others and not appear to suffer in that life time. Ultimately however those negative actions will have negative results for them.

Many Buddhists also believe that the ultimate goal of life is to attain enlightenment. On the way to enlightenment a person can achieve a higher rebirth in a level above the human world which helps them on a path to enlightenment.

No real Buddhist believes that people who suffer or are killed in tragic events deserves it, real Buddhists believe in compassion. We believe that everyone is good and pure at the core but that our minds are filled with delusions that confuse us.

Also Buddhists believe that you cannot judge a persons Karma on the basis of their life. For example a person can appear to suffer a great deal throughout their lifespan and die in tragic circumstances and then go on to achieve a wonderful higher rebirth or even enlightenment itself, because in their last life the last of their negative Karma has been eliminated. Yet a person who appears to have a wonderful life can actually still have a lot of negative karma left.

I would ask that people posting in this thread remember that more then 20% of the people on this planet follow a faith that believes in Karma. Disagreement is welcome but please be respectful.

sebsmummy1 · 01/08/2014 22:14

Sleeps you can only deal with the present day, how were you to know you would struggle to fall pregnant again? If we all knew what was round the corner of course we would make different decisions.

I also fell pregnant with my son with no effort yet cannot conceive a sibling for him and have had two early mcs this year. This has fuck all to do with karma, and neither has your situation. It's bad luck and very very sad, but it's simply the roll of the dice and in my case it's age primarily. I'm so sorry but please don't punish yourself thinking that way.

OutsSelf · 01/08/2014 22:17

Right, I've had dealings with Buddhists, who first of all acknowledge that different people in different Buddhist traditions might see things differently to them. But their thing about Karma was not that there was that there was a great big cosmic accounting system, but that all actions have consequences. You can cultivate good or bad. They didn't in any way say that the person who does the good or the bad would be the person who experienced it's karmic consequences. Just that someone would.

This is meaningful when you don't cling to your own individual life as the sum total of the meaning of your actions. If you cultivate suffering SOMEONE is going to suffer, that's really all they said about that. You can make a different choice, you can cultivate goodness in the world.

See I think this is vital to Buddhist thinking because of one of the other things in Buddhism is that to find peace you have to accept reality as it is. But this is quite nihilistic in the absence of karma. Karma gives the individual agency, karma makes a claim that you can change the world and your actions are meaningful because otherwise acceptance becomes straightforward passivity. Karma enables peace to be equanimity in the present moment without condoning the vast suffering of the people of the world. It's actually the only way you kind find peace in the moment without shutting down or putting your fingers in your ears about the suffering of others.

Reincarnation is an extension of this, really. It's nothing to do with an individual consciousness being reborn, but instead it is a way that you hand on your suffering to successive generations. Basically, if you don't solve the pain you carry, and act in distorted ways because of it, you pass that suffering on to be reborn in others. I think Phillip Larkin explains.it best:

OutsSelf · 01/08/2014 22:19

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.