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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to find these fb posts a bit racist?

169 replies

choochootrain1 · 30/07/2014 17:13

I have so many friends who seem to think its fine to share "black is beautiful" type posts (for the record I don't disagree and my family is mixed) however as a Caucasian woman can you imagine it going down ok if I posted a pic of a blonde haired blue eyed child with "white and proud of it"?

I'm not actually going to do anything about it, or confront anyone - it just upsets me a bit that id be shot down as a racist white supremacist for the same type of posts

OP posts:
thecageisfull · 30/07/2014 20:59

x-posts with sweet.

I think your example fails on a couple of points. Firstly, name one. Without googling do you know a single one of those girls names. Secondly, if they were white girls taken from a UK boarding school the outcry would be deafening rather than the whimper it was. They haven't been found, nobody is looking. A #Bringbackourgirls twitter storm lasted a couple of days and was met with #Can'tBeArsed.

sweetnessandlite · 30/07/2014 21:07

Without googling do you know a single one of those girls names.

I wouldn't know any of there names whatever their colour was.

I think you are reading things into it that aren't there.

sweetnessandlite · 30/07/2014 21:08

Do you honestly think that if those girls were white that people would memorize each and every one of over 200 names?
I don't think so.

thecageisfull · 30/07/2014 21:09

So why bring them up as an example of a missing black woman whose name you know?

thecageisfull · 30/07/2014 21:10

If you were asked to name a missing white woman/girl you wouldn't have had to scrabble about looking at a terrorist act in another country, which is rather the point.

Softlysoftlycatchymonkey · 30/07/2014 21:11

I find this sort of thinking strange. It's like you think black people are incapable of being just as bigotted and twatty as white people. Of course they are. The reason being, we're all the same

This. I've been called honkey and white trash by a group of black lads. That was racism.

sweetnessandlite · 30/07/2014 21:11

Duh,
because somebody tried to imply that when black women go missing there is never any media coverage.
~Which, as I proved, is Wrong.

thecageisfull · 30/07/2014 21:12

Duh ????

Are you for real?

Softlysoftlycatchymonkey · 30/07/2014 21:13

By the way honkey didn't bother me it was the white trash comment. I also got called a lesbian bitch as I was holding dd hand (10) at the time as she was scared.

sweetnessandlite · 30/07/2014 21:13

This. I've been called honkey and white trash by a group of black lads. That was racism.

Softly, according to some on here, that isn't racism - they are just being 'mean' to you :)

ikeaismylocal · 30/07/2014 21:14

I don't think there is any need to shout about what is beautiful (and be saying something is beautiful and not mentioning other forms of beauty you are in effect saying the other ways of being are not as beautiful)I have friends who post similar things about women with curves "real women have curves" type comments and photos, it is all very well being curvy and thinking that you are sexy and beautiful but to post about it is a bit odd.

I would say that the least desirable colouring is pale skin and medium brown hair, you can't but hair dye the same colour as my hair because no one wants mousy brown hair.

sweetnessandlite · 30/07/2014 21:21

I would say that the least desirable colouring is pale skin and medium brown hair, you can't but hair dye the same colour as my hair because no one wants mousy brown hair.

But if a poster were to say that they find the least desirable colouring to be dark skin and frizzy hair

would that be okay?

Softlysoftlycatchymonkey · 30/07/2014 21:22

I can see where creating a divide in this age is still happening though, when we are supposed to be eradicating it.

Black music stations, black newspapers...

I don't understand why it's aimed specifically aimed at that sector. Can you imagine the out rage if a new radio station was started for 'white people'

Original poster
choochootrain1 · 30/07/2014 21:23

Yes sorry softly, the definition of racism doesn't include that Wink when the thread went that way with one particular individual I think the debate became futile OP packs up and gets on with real life

A shame really as some had some eye opening POV

OP posts:
Softlysoftlycatchymonkey · 30/07/2014 21:26

Where are black women paid less? I'm my job all races are paid the same! There would be hell to pay if it wasn't.

Softlysoftlycatchymonkey · 30/07/2014 21:27

Yes choo me too. I think the media does have a lot to answer for.

ikeaismylocal · 30/07/2014 21:33

But if a poster were to say that they find the least desirable colouring to be dark skin and frizzy hair, would that be okay?

Yes it would be ok if they had those features, but I don't think it is ok to say that the features you or your dc have are the most beutiful, it's lovely to feel beutiful and it's important to tell your children they are beutiful but to tell other people that you or your kids are the most beutiful is odd and unnecssary.

Softlysoftlycatchymonkey · 30/07/2014 21:52

The cage I've just read the link. In this day and age I just can't get my head around it.

I wonder if the ethnic employee worked at the same Companies/organisation as the white employee. Or was it a comparison between different places/comparison. As I know if I went and worked at a different company doing the same job I'm doing now, there would be a slight difference in the pay. If two people were used in the study at different places of work the comparisons would be different.

In my place of work all pay scale is standard regardless of colour or gender. Would it not be illegal if that was different in a company or place if work?

thecageisfull · 30/07/2014 22:07

more comprehensive report here

It would be illegal if it was the same place of work but we know it must happen as every so after a group of (usually) women will get together to demand equal pay to (usually) men in the same roles. Birmingham City council is a recent example. Even if the employers were different, the chances that BME workers would be consistently earning less because they happened to pick an employer that didn't pay as much as the employer where white people worked and their was no discrimination or racism at play re a bit slim imo.

dawndonnaagain · 30/07/2014 22:12

The level of racism here is truly frightening.

FreudiansSlipper · 30/07/2014 22:18

OP YABU as many have already explained why

being called white trash, honky is not nice its horrible

racism is questionable as it takes on a different meaning for different people. if you believe the oppressor (white person) can be oppressed by the minority or are in the position of being oppressed (this case black boys calling names to white woman) then if this is what you believe it is racist many people do not see white people being oppressed so will not class this as racism but nasty name calling

but being white you are not judged on being white in society, you are judged maybe on the way you dress, attitude, education, class but not on the colour of your skin

FreudiansSlipper · 30/07/2014 22:20

I agree dawn :(

same posters as I have seen before making similar remarks

enormouse · 30/07/2014 22:28

Racism is racism regardless of which individual of whichever race is being victimised. I say that as a member of a minority group (female, working class, indian).

To negate someone's experience of racism by saying it's just bullying feels wrong to me.

UnderEstherMate · 30/07/2014 22:28

YABU. The media and the enter western world is pointed towards white beauty. Black female celebrities wear long straight weave to look more European. They contour their facial features using make up to make them look more European. They wear foundation lighter than their own skin to look more European.

The argument that white women wear fake tan is not the same thing. It is far more deep rooted than that and stems back to European colonialism.

If black women want to remind each other that their own beauty is also worth celebrating, I'm all for it.