Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send these cards during the summer hols?

180 replies

Bocolatechiscuit · 30/07/2014 06:54

I'm a secondary school teacher, and as you will know, the end of year gifts tend to tail off to almost nothing as children move to high school (I don't actually believe in teacher gifts as I see it as doing the job I'm paid to do and absolutely adore, but that's a whole other thread).

This year though, I was given presents from three students. They caught me in the corridor and gave me the gifts in pretty gift bags with a card inside. As it was the last day and I was rushing to lessons, assemblies etc I thanked them profusely of course but didn't open the bags there and then. When I opened them later, they have gone to huge effort, buying personalised gifts and have all written such lovely things in their cards about how they have enjoyed my lessons this year and learned so much etc etc.

So...I'd like to send them a thank you card. I've bought a pack of small cards and am thinking of sending them to their home address which I can easily get from the school system. I'm not going to be teaching them in September unfortunately and in any case feel it's too long to wait to say thank you. I'd like to send a card each, thanking them for their gift, telling them it was a delight to teach them (it genuinely was-fantastic students with lovely bubbly personalities, amazing senses of humour and such a desire to learn) and wishing them a lovely holiday.

Something's holding me back though and I don't quite know why. I've had the cards a week and still not sent them. Is this a nice thing to do like I think it is or is sending them to their home address a bit ott?

OP posts:
PeoplesFrontOfJudea · 30/07/2014 09:54

DD's y6 teacher sent thank you cards to pupils' home addresses last summer. It was a lovely thing to do and it didn't cross my mind to feel it was an inappropriate use of data.

TheFallenMadonna · 30/07/2014 09:55

I get the difference. I do. I wouldn't do it myself, for reasons clearly demonstrated by the reactions on the thread. But just wanted to make the point that home addresses are readily accessible, and accessed, by teachers.

Delphiniumsblue · 30/07/2014 10:03

The thing to remember is that the pupils you want to send them to have most likely not got the suspicious parents or they would never have given the presents! They would have had a lifetime of the parent saying 'why give a present for doing their job?' And if they give a present the parent has generally picked it, without reference to the child who knows the teacher. They probably don't get that the teacher likes the homemade card with personal message and 'in' class jokes, better than anything.
I wouldn't worry.

Delphiniumsblue · 30/07/2014 10:04

Home addresses are readily accessible by anyone- something you realise if you do family history as a hobby.

Thenapoleonofcrime · 30/07/2014 10:05

I don't see the issue as a data protection one really- surely it's about sending a personal note out of school-time, in an envelope addressed to the child. Cute at primary level, not so cute from a male teacher to my 13 year old dd in the hols. Postcards are visible to everyone and addressed presumably to the parents, not the child.

I had exactly this experience, an older man in a professional setting sending me a lovely card with lots of compliments and urging me to keep in touch when I was in my teens. I knew exactly what it meant.

The OP has the absolute best of intentions, but not all teachers do and young teens/adults. I think it makes it easier for the teachers and for the students if they have a close working relationship in school-hours so there's no room for misunderstanding. This doesn't preclude a warm friendly interaction at all.

Altinkum · 30/07/2014 10:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MMcanny · 30/07/2014 10:07

My DS gets a thank you card from one teacher he's had twice and it's lovely.

jacks365 · 30/07/2014 10:07

I think some schools just have very different policies. Our school for example insists all communications go via the school system so a teacher contacting a pupil without it going via the office would be a big no no. Some others have a policy of the teachers sending anything themselves. The fact that the op is querying this suggests that her school probably does everything through the office. I will add our school office is open all through the holiday so a teacher can drop anything off for posting at any time.

ICanSeeTheSun · 30/07/2014 10:08

My niece aged 13 in high school would adore this.

HokeyCokeyPigInAPokey · 30/07/2014 10:09

Dd's year 3 teacher did this, we thought it was so lovely that she wrote a personal thank you note. Never occurred me it was a breach of anything, it's just a nice thing to do.

Delphiniumsblue · 30/07/2014 10:10

Good grief! I retract OP- don't send them. Common sense has gone out of the window- in view of this thread don't. The paranoid always win- no one dare risk normal human interaction. I dare say people would also have reasons why you can't even give them a note when back at school!

FannyFifer · 30/07/2014 10:10

DS teacher sent thank you cards during the holidays & also also sends birthday card if a pupils birthday falls during a holiday.
No problem with that here, I think it's lovely.

steppemum · 30/07/2014 10:13

Why is this a personal not professional issue?

In her role as teacher, she is thanking a child who gave her a gift as their teacher? How is that not within her role? Are teachers not allowed basic manners?

Altinkum · 30/07/2014 10:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cocolepew · 30/07/2014 10:17

DDs geography teacher took a years sabbatical just before the gcses. DD received a lovely, heartfelt card from her in the post, she was delighted and I was very moved by the fact that the teacher took the time to do it.

The fact that she would have probably taken the address home with her never crossed my mind. Now that it has it doesn't change my view. But then again Im sensible Wink

effinandjeffin · 30/07/2014 10:20

This thread is bizarre.

In an era where people splash every tiny little bit of their lives on social media, over the internet for anybody and their aunty to access, people are getting their paranoid knickers in a twist about a teacher sending one of their pupils a fucking thank you card.

I look forward to the day when all schoolkids are assigned a number at school instead of using their names and are completely anonymous in every way.

Altinkum · 30/07/2014 10:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tweasels · 30/07/2014 10:21

I feel so sorry for teachers Sad

In my work I have access to all the addresses of every person in the county within a certain age range. I often send letters of congratulations to people I've worked with for their progress/achievements.

I thought I was being nice, did not think for a second anyone would think I was stalkerish. And I'm a 34 year old woman and these might be 16/17 year old boys! Shock

bookcave · 30/07/2014 10:22

It is sad that sending a simple thank-you is such a minefield.

I had a lovely teacher for yrs R to 2, many years ago. She left the school when I finished yr2. A few years later when I got a full scholarship to a London private school (a very big deal for my parents as they were on the dole and had left school at 14 themeselves with no qualifications), she sent me a congrats letter to say how pleased she was that I'd continued to do well. I've no idea how she heard or how she had my address but I was very touched by it. Neither I nor my parents regarded it as sinister.

Having said that, my parents always read any post I got as a child. I can't remember what age they stopped doing that.

Edenviolet · 30/07/2014 10:24

Do it, its a lovely idea. We have had Thankyou cards sent to our home from teachers before and dcs were really pleased.

Dancingqueen17 · 30/07/2014 10:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Toooldtobearsed · 30/07/2014 10:26

Absolutely ridiculous.

Op - you obviously know their names and rough area they live in. Look them up in the phone book (on-line), then you will not be subjected to such pathetic nonsense.
I understand about DPA, but ffs.... How many outraged parents hand out their address willy nilly for grocery deliveries, raffle draws etc?

It is a lovely idea and one which should be appreciated Thanks

Idontseeanyicegiants · 30/07/2014 10:33

Sad world we live in when every adult that comes into contact with our children is regarded with suspicion.
In your shoes I really wouldn't OP, if a card from you came to my house from one of DS's high school teachers it would he thought of as a lovely thing to do but you really need to keep yourself safe in this climate.

TheLovelyBoots · 30/07/2014 10:34

How bloody sad that this is considered a breach of data privacy. I would be delighted for my children to receive such a note, as would they.

Hulababy · 30/07/2014 10:37

wigglesrock and others

You do realise that teaching staff have access to your address and contact details whenever they want don't you? Or they certainly do at every school I have taught at!

If I asked my HT for an address of a child to send a personal letter, like a thank you letter, I would be allowed - no problems whatsoever. In reality I wouldn't even need to ask - there are paper files with all contact details in the office for all teaching and admin staff to access and use.