To send these cards during the summer hols?

[Bocolatechiscuit]

I'm a secondary school teacher, and as you will know, the end of year gifts tend to tail off to almost nothing as children move to high school (I don't actually believe in teacher gifts as I see it as doing the job I'm paid to do and absolutely adore, but that's a whole other thread).

This year though, I was given presents from three students. They caught me in the corridor and gave me the gifts in pretty gift bags with a card inside. As it was the last day and I was rushing to lessons, assemblies etc I thanked them profusely of course but didn't open the bags there and then. When I opened them later, they have gone to huge effort, buying personalised gifts and have all written such lovely things in their cards about how they have enjoyed my lessons this year and learned so much etc etc.

So...I'd like to send them a thank you card. I've bought a pack of small cards and am thinking of sending them to their home address which I can easily get from the school system. I'm not going to be teaching them in September unfortunately and in any case feel it's too long to wait to say thank you. I'd like to send a card each, thanking them for their gift, telling them it was a delight to teach them (it genuinely was-fantastic students with lovely bubbly personalities, amazing senses of humour and such a desire to learn) and wishing them a lovely holiday.

Something's holding me back though and I don't quite know why. I've had the cards a week and still not sent them. Is this a nice thing to do like I think it is or is sending them to their home address a bit ott?

I have a slightly different perspective, working at a university which I know is a bit different. I would only use the files held on a student in really exceptional circumstances- so if they were having mental health problems and I needed to contact a next of kin urgently. For everything else, we have to ask them permission to use the data.

I disagree that this is a bad thing and stops these lovely spontaneous reactions. I have found, over the years, that my job is much better run with really clear parameters between students and myself. I am sympathetic, nice and helpful, get lovely letters and cards and emails from students- but that interaction is kept within uni emails, term time and office hours.

Lots of things can end up encroaching on boundaries- so in some cultures, giving gifts is the normal way to approach a teacher- fine for a tiny gift, not so fine if you have bigger gifts given, especially where there's an ongoing interaction or you are marking their work. I have had to discourage these students from giving extravagant gifts and would no way be allowed to receive the amount of vouchers that are talked about on MN- I can't get £200 from a group of students whose work I'm marking next year! I think this is not the case at primary, but by secondary with course-work, there can be issues.

As for sending cards, there was a case in the paper just the other day of a middle-aged lady teacher who sent a teenage boy several cards/letters saying what a wonderful pupil he was, unfortunately she had a crush on him and she then texted the same. She is now not allowed to teach. What if this were a male teacher sending a nice card to a female pupil's house over the summer to say what an amazing student she was. Why blur the lines even slightly? I have male students who I know get a little crush on their teacher (yes, even on middle-aged ladies like me) I deliberately never do anything to blur the boundaries whatsoever and would never send them a nice thank you card in the hols, I would wait for term to restart and thank them through the usual channels (internal post, emails or whatever).

OP- you already did thank them, in person, profusely. You can also send them a little card through the internal mail at school in about four weeks time, its hardly critical you get those cards out this week.

I am not by the way suggesting that in the OP's example that there is anything but the best and most honorable intentions, that is abundantly clear- I just want to point out that going around accessing personal files at secondary level or above, and sending things to home addresses/gifts exchanged can be misunderstood and that I personally address this by keeping everything really clearly demarcated between home and work.

Sending a thank you card for a thank you present makes no sense.

No, I would complain if a teacher remotely or otherwise accessed a work database to obtain my address, my children live with me. It's my address and as I said for personal and safety reasons I don't give out my address a lot.

I'd also be very surprised if a governor in a safe guarding role in a school couldn't maybe see a slight problem with this.

I know lots of people who have access to home addresses - GPs, dentist, DVA staff, Police, hospital staff, library staff, tv licensing etc, I'm assuming we'd all be happy enough for them to access home addresses for personal reasons.

Teacher has already said thank you, they'll be seeing them in 4-5 weeks they really want to give them a card.

University is different- they are adults- parents get nothing.

I give up- just think it is terribly sad that you even have to ask the question. Obviously you do- judging by the paranoid responses.

I'm with Delphiniumsblue.

MN is a constant education to me. I really never knew people thought like this.

I have just remembered
This year the class teacher had some 'well done' postcards. They said to the class they would choose kids who had behaved really well and send them to their parents. So one day I suddenly got a postcard from dds teacher saying how well she had done at something.

It was lovely and dd was chuffed to bits.

But then at our school most of us live within walking distance and we all know each others' houses. Our house backs on to the school field, so the whole school knows our address

Primary teacher here.
On the last day of term our clerical assistant gives us a print off of the addresses of the kids in our class. The only time I haven't sent thank you notes out in the hols is when I' ve been too lazy/busy to get round to it, then it's a last minute dash to get them done before the 1st day of term.
Never read such a load of crap on mn for a while!

I find MN very addictive because it is such an eye opener. I go through my normal life without realising that people have such odd views!

Btw I do this for Xmas pressies too, clearly I am about to lose my job and I didn't even know it

You can't have been around much Laura- there is lots of crap around as people have time to waste in the holidays!!

I can't believe people would actually complain about this. It's bloody depressing. A bit like the people talking to my kids on a barge holiday thread.
The data protection act is a very misunderstood act. She is sending a form of communication to the child and parents... There can't be any breach of the dpa in that surely?!

I'm sure the OP won't do it now based on some of these replies. But it's bloody depressing!

Postcards are different - they are "public" usually sent via the school office, not private correspondence between an adult and your child, where the adult has had to look up your child's home address in a protected database in order to send them something personal.

Everyone may have the sweetest of intentions, but looking stuff up in a protected database to send personal stuff is not professional, and is not maintaining that distance which is advised by the LEA/union etc for the protection of BOTH sides.

Having said that... Hhmmmm would you expect the office to issue all children their teacher's home address so they can write thank you to the teacher. Hhmmmm.

Go through the office, let them address it maybe?

This is not primary. These teens are becoming adults, it's all a darn sight more complicated than 8 year olds giving their teacher a home-made cake or whatever and getting a hug in return. It's like hugging- fine in primary, totally inappropriate in secondary.

We use home addresses all the time to send postcards home for good work. And to get their phone numbers to contact parents. We are strongly encouraged to do so.

All teachers have access to all the contact details of all the students on the school. I do get the difference between personal and work related contact. but I can't see the difference between sending a card via the school mail and from home really.

What is the worst that can happen? A slap in the wrist and 'don't do it again'.

I look up and address the postcards myself. The office would not appreciate having to do it for every student who gets a good work postcard.

In future if my dds give a teacher a present (less likely now they are at secondary) I will get them to include a proper letter, with their address on it so that the teacher can use it to send back a thank-you (if they want). I can understand that some people need to protect their address but I am from an era when you could look most people up in the phone book if you wanted to find them, so it feels odd that so many people feel their address is something to be closely guarded.

People actually want to live in such a climate of fear that you can't make a spontaneous, friendly gesture? -

Look up the addresses on the Internet- easy enough if the data base bothers you.

Our school heads send 'thank you' notes for gifts to home addresses. A lovely handwritten note is a nice thing to send to a child (teaches manners too!).