Well, I have been raped more than once. The first time was by a stranger. The second was my ex husband. So I can add some anecdotal evidence, though clearly it is subjective. Both were horrendous, my husband was more violent, I was afraid of both, I suffered (and continue to) suffer flashbacks, panic attacks and general anxiety. I experienced feelings of anger, rage, helplessness, guilt and shame (still do, can't talk about it in RL).
Which was worse? I honestly couldn't tell you. Perhaps my husband who knew I had been raped and chose to subject me to further ordeal.
But really, by discussing which is worse isn't it a slippery slope to saying at the other end of the scale, well it's only sex. The effect the act has on a person depends on who they are - I didn't cope very well, others I am sure cope better. Does that mean it was worse for me or them?
The only thing I'm really sure of is that it's a power crime, to dominate the other person and take away their feeling of being in control of their life. It's so much more complex than just sex. I do feel this categorisation and 'levels' of rape conversations distract attention from the perpetrator and focus attention instead on the person raped. I should say victim or survivor but I hate both terms. I have neither survived nor do I want to be a victim.