AIBU to be hacked off over ppl touching my child

[choochootrain1]

I would NEVER touch a tot or baby without permission from the parent and knowing I had recently washed my hands...but it seems like the whole of London wants to touch my toddler (shake his hand/hi5 /even kiss his cheek!)

These are not ppl I know - these are random strangers! I'm on the verge of creating a badge asking ppl not to - but a friend thinks that would draw even more attention and ppl would assume it's a joke and do it more?

Thoughts? Advice?

Ikea... I don't think it should be incumbent on the parent to tell people not to touch, it should be absolutely the action of the itching.to.touch.baby person to ask - and wait for an affirmative response before they lay a finger.

Exactly LyingWitchInTheWardrobe, although personally, bonkers about babies as I am, I wouldn't even ask if I could touch a baby. I just wouldn't do it at all.

I just wish I had the chance to ask people not to...after the fact that they've dived right on him, it's not much use is it?!

As to the "Grope" references alisvolapropiis as explained - someone used the term "babygropers" I thought it a cute term and re-used it. I don't think the original user of the word meant it in the real sense of the word and neither do I. I appreciate people aren't going to read through all threads and realise these things but really wish there was an edit function now so I could make this clear.

Thank you LyingWitch and Gruntfuttock!

We should embrace the term 'baby-gropers' actually... people who have the parent's permission to touch the child are excused. People who lack the manners to ask need to be taught to do so and until they do, they ARE 'baby-gropers'.

how does anyone know that the stranger touching their kid isn't carrying bacteria from masturbating and not washed their hands since?

How do you know that a family member hasn't done this?

lol LyingWitchInTheWardrobe I hope it becomes a well known term and definition understood, I really do.

Would make my life so much easier.

I don't think it should be incumbent on the parent to tell people not to touch, it should be absolutely the action of the itching.to.touch.baby person to ask - and wait for an affirmative response before they lay a finger.

Yes, but if you have a child who's health is at risk if strangers touch them it is more important to protect your child than rely on people to ask.

I don't think that chatting to a toddler and doing a high5 with them is overstepping social norms when it comes to touching. I personally wouldn't kiss a random toddler but touching hands is not hugely intimate in my opinion, if an adult had dropped something I wouldn't hesitate to touch their hand/arm and say "excuse me, is that your phone/purse"

I don't TheLovelyBoots however a) they are family not random strangers and b) My family are pretty neurotic about handwashing and always wash hands when we arrive at each others houses, it's just something we do!

I'm astonished that there is anyone who objects to someone high-5'ing their child.

I am very very happy when strangers chat/play with my ds on the bus, he loves people, one of his first words was "people" it makes the journey an awful lot easier for me if a friendly person entertains him for 5 mins regardless of if they touch him.

I'm generally quite relaxed about people interaction with my two. The old lady who kissed DS2's head while I was breastfeeding him crossed some boundaries though!

well Ikea the only option seems to be to get a badge made up then by your reasoning - how else am I supposed to protect him? Or should I stand on the bus yelling at people not to engage with him?

If people did care to ask - I'd have a chance to say no.

It's really not realistic that A) I don't ever go out and use public transport or B) I keep a muslin over a kid who will yank it off and gets something anyway out of seeing the world and engaging with it or C) yell at people not to touch him before they've even shown any sign that they might

Just a simple glance in the mothers direction is surely curteous??? and allows the YES/NO of the parent whose child it is.

Fair enough that some people are OK with it. My point is not really whether it is OK or not across the board - for some it is, for some it isn't. However I feel with MY child, I have a RIGHT to decide what IS or IS NOT OK.

Touching my kid when I don't know you, and never will. NOT OK WITH ME. More so when you didn't bother to so much as glance in my direction to check.

and TheLovelyBoots you sound like someone whose just come to cause trouble waves have a nice day...

TheLovelyBoots, I couldn't agree less with that nasty remark.

TheLovelyBoots... There's no need for that, none at all.

If you read OP's comments on this thread you'd understand where the concern is coming from. You obviously haven't and you've been spectacularly rude to her.

These are beginning to sound like issues which go beyond the health and well being of your child. You seem to come from a family worried about all kinds of potential germs.

I could not agree less with the OP, but Lovelyboots comment is just nasty. Ignore it OP.

Apologies choochoo I didn't realize your child had health issues. My bad. I did not read the entire thread.

However I feel with MY child, I have a RIGHT to decide what IS or IS NOT OK.

If you take your child out into the community you run the risk of people interacting with the child. By the seeming regularity of your child being touched and the amount of people on this thread who have said that they don't see an issue with touching a child then it seems that giving high 5s and shaking hands, ruffling hair are seen by lots of people to be a normal part of interaction.

I personally dislike the gender sterotype comments that seem so popular "what a tough little guy" "such a sweet little girl, you look just like a princess!" But I can't get angry at people saying these sorts of comments to my children as they are seen as quite acceptable and normal and the people saying the comments are only trying to be friendly in the way they know best.

As a parent you get to make the majority of decisions for your children but if you want to take them out in public you can't decide how every individual behaves around your child. You sound a little controlling,you can't controll how other people behave if they are behaving within the law.

ChooChoo's statement that it shouldn't matter whether there are health issues or not - you don't go up to somebody's baby and touch them without asking the parent, is spot on. You just don't do that. It's very ill-mannered and dismissive.

ilovesooty who cares what kind of family I come from? It's mine. Your family probably has traits I would find bizarre. That was just a simple reply to someone asking how I didn't know my family had unclean hands - the main point of the reply was that they are my family and not randoms.

Thanks LyingWitch!