To arrange to descend on my local Starbucks with an army of toddlers after being told to keep my one year old laughing child quiet in there today by miserable manager?

[Elsmom]

I would understand if I was letting him run riot but he was sitting lovely (for once!) and laughing!

and no one would think twice about a stranger telling a child off for doing something naughty where here on mm that is only the job of a parent

Whatever,
Some ppl are intolerant of children being out in public.
And some of those ppl are here today.

Told off for what? For laughing?
For being under five years old?
For having a parent who doesn't speak to them like they're reading from the times?

Some of you (I'm assuming a lot here but bear with me) might have noticed that I like dresses and dressing up and pretty clothes.

This morning whilst waiting to cross the road in I said to the little girl of about 5 standing beside me that she looked very pretty in her summer dress.(I quite often get random compliments from strangers about how I dress, which cheer me up no end and I do the same to random strangers if I see someone looking particularly splendid)

Her mother glared at me as if I'd suggested buying her for a white-slave ring and stomped off without saying a word.

In which case I suppose the manage was quite right to tell the ops ds off for laughing Phaedra

Did you not read my post

I wrote for doing something naughty

Never said laughing out loud was naughty or even questioned the op on what her ds was doing more her ott reaction to have a sit in. I was pointing out the differences how adults interact with children in some other countries (in my experience)

Where did I say that Amanda ?

I was replying to BoysAreLikeDogs post that if it seems you're damned if you and damned if you don't pay attention to children. .

Phaedra, it's beyond me to understand what mothers who react like that can be thinking. Mind you, I had a similar reaction recently when I was out for a walk and turned the corner to see the cutest little dog (bundle of white fluff) coming towards me, on a lead. I love dogs and might have involuntarily said "Aaah" quietly . I looked at the owner smiling and the glare she gave me was murderous! Why? What heinous crime had I committed? Would it have killed her to smile back as she passed? It is horrible when people react to like this isn't it? A bit of a slap in the face really.

I was wlaking through the village near my mum's yesterday and was just looking at two little children in a double buggy thinking they were cute. When I looked up again I was getting a cold stare from their mother/minder. It threw me a bit.

Yes, Vintagejazz how much more pleasant if the mother had smiled. What's the matter with them to behave so nastily?

ps

I have got annoyed in cafes sometimes when a baby has been encouraged to screech with high pitched laughter every few seconds by some parent playing peek a boo with a napkin or somesuch. Not saying the OP was doing this, but laughing babies aren't always just chuckling quietly away; sometimes their laughing is akin to a loud delighted scream which is okay once or twice but not constantly when other people are trying to chat or relax.

Yes exactly, Phaedra

Well, I don't know how loud your baby was, but in any case your response to the manager was to encourage your baby to be louder, and now you are planning to return with an 'army of toddlers'. So yes, you sound unreasonable. Calling passengers on the bus miserable gits is also unreasonable.

You are teaching your baby the wrong attitude towards other people. I do not think we are entitled to have people be friendly to us as we go out and about. It is nice if they are friendly, and most people are friendly, but it does not mean that you need to go on the attack if somebody is not friendly to you or your baby.

Most mothers of little girls like it if you comment on their dc's pretty dresses, and most dog owners like it if you engage with their dogs. So Phaedra and Grunt, you did the right thing (you sound lovely).

Quintessentially, I was in India when DS must have been 3 and DD almost 2. DD got far more of the attention, to the point that I was irritated by it as DS was old enough to realise the disparity (and would have lapped up the attention, whereas DD hated it).

Where we live (middle east) there is a lot of attention given to children, and it really doesn't seem to be gender based; yes I am sure there are differences in how children are treated in some of the families but I don't see that affecting the fussing over kids in public... DS started getting less attention once a cute little sister (as opposed to a newborn) came along; and the attention was generally of the same type.

Karelia... Again.... If I went on the attack purely for somebody being unfriendly to my baby I would have said something to those on the bus. However, I just thought it's a bit of a shame and only used it as an example making a point in this conversation.
In the case of the subject heading, WE were the ones being "attacked" by somebody with no reason to single us out. I did not react to somebody purely being unfriendly I responded to a completly unfair "telling off" by somebody in a rude and patronising manner.

Do you really have to still go to Starbucks OP? Aren't there any other coffee shops in your area where you can go? I would simply vote with my feet and encourage your friends to do so too.

Quintessentially, I totally see where the question comes from. The male child preference in certain segments of Indian society comes from many socio-economic factors. Has nothing to do with the fact that by and large, theirs is a very children-loving culture. I was in Bangalore a little while ago, shopkeepers gave sweeties/ choccies to DD free of cost - even those where we didn't buy anything. Their affection tends to be a bit physical - cheek pulling, head patting etc, which DD didn't much care for! She is a stroppy 6yo, not a cute baby or toddler :-) but still got a fair amount of attention.
We moved to the Middle East earlier this year, and the difference from UK in this respect is quite marked.

OP - don't mean to distract from the original issue. FWIW, I totally sympathise with you!

This is my first time on mumsnet, also my last! Although alot of people on here genuinely add some useful advice/opinions on topics, i dont think ive ever come accross so many self important, condescending, arrogant, arseholes in my life!!!
There are some absolute sad wankers out there that need to get a life ........op! ??
See ya mumsnet!

I think it's pretty self important to announce your arrival and departure so publicly, not to mention unpleasantly.

I used to work in a Starbucks. The manager hated having any children in, even well behaved ones. The amount of times we saw hot drinks spilt on them is shocking

Who the hell is CMW81 anyway? She said she was there I.e in the cafe.

None of your business! Now all piss off, i keep getting notified that you are taking time out of your day to mention me. Get over something that had nothing to do with you in the first place will you?!

Sorry if i have upset the organic granola munching, parenting theory help book reading, wannabe yummy mummy brigade but not everyone thinks you are as good as you do.

How are you geting notified CMW81? I never get notifications [sulk]