To arrange to descend on my local Starbucks with an army of toddlers after being told to keep my one year old laughing child quiet in there today by miserable manager?

[Elsmom]

I would understand if I was letting him run riot but he was sitting lovely (for once!) and laughing!

happy I didn't say I'd ignore them. I just said I would politely disengage.

And I never mentioned that politely disengaging from conversation is rude (smacks head off desk 10 times) that's completly fine.... Blatantly ignoring anybody regardless of age on the other hand...... Anyway that's digressing from the original subject. It was simply an observation of how different society here is, than in other countries. If adults here think it's fine to ignore a baby waving and saying bye to them they can get on with it. It's only become a big deal because people have jumped on that to use it as some sort of evidence that my child was screaming his head off. He was not ( for the millionth time) and anybody assuming this and commenting, your comments are irrelevant because you are not basing your opinions on the facts.

It is not rude to politely disengage - it is rude to just completely ignore which, if we're trying to ally that scenario with the baby waving at a bus scenario which is what I'm reading you were trying to do.

Obviously people have their own issues such as social anxiety and the likes, but I doubt an entire busload of people were so anxious or socially unaware to not wave back - but people are people.

You seem to have taken my misreading of your initial ambiguous comment personally. It wasn't meant so.

Anyway, have great sunshine time all. The usual circular arguments and pedantry that these types of threads become is wasting everyone's time.

I'm usually reading on the bus. I wouldn't even notice a baby waving and saying goodbye. I probably wouldn't even notice as I was getting off to be honest. I'd be concentrating on making sure I had all my stuff and on making sure I kept my balance if the bus were to stop suddenly or even go past the stop (as has been known round here).

I think there is much more to this story than the OP is letting on. No way would a manager chuck someone out of a coffee shop because their baby was just laughing..... No disrespect OP but you sound like of those parents who thinks that their child is the most wonderful thing in the world and that everyone else should feel the same way. The truth is that most people couldn't give a stuff about other people's children, harsh but true, and anyway why the hell should they?

Sometimes it's nice to be able to go out for a coffee or a meal and not have to put up with screaming kids.

I really don't care that he was ignored on the bus.... It's an observation! That would not happen in most other countries!!!' Just pointing out the attitude towards kids here is different. If I'd have been that bothered about that I'd have written a whole thread about it months ago it was a little aside, and no way means that I expect him to be the centre of attention. I know the type of mother you are assuming I am but I am not one of them! In the almost two years my son has been onthe planet this is the first thing that I've felt strongly enough to want to have a little vent about. If I was all "look how amazing my little angel is" I'd haveli lions of posts on here already! I'm simply annoyed that we were singled and had our meal ruined over nothing more than this horrible woman having a problem with the fact my child was laughing! End of!

Rhine the OP didn't say she was chucked out. She did admit to encouraging him to be louder after the complaint though.

Yes the attitude is different in some countries because people tend to be more open and friendly towards adults and children

A question.

Those of you in foreign shores who experience that their babies are loved and adored and showered with affection, does this happen to girl babies too?

My son was constantly the center of attention in India. I wonder if he would receive the same attention if he was a girl?

Just a flying thought about the confidence of boys as many of them grow up to feel on top of the world....

Look, OP. Really just walk away - people just love this kind of thing. Using lovely references to your child as a 'little ray of sunshine' etc etc which is just plain unpleasant and having a pop. AIBU is crawling with this general attitude towards people. Don't take the bait. It will just get you nowhere. Really.

You know whether or not the manageress was being unreasonable. On the face of it, yes she was. Just don't go there again.

I've been on the receiving end of this attitude here on AIBU - it's a complete waste of time and energy.

Go enjoy your child and that belly-laugh.

No way would a manager chuck a child out for laughing? Well no that didn't happen, the manager came up and told Us to keep him quiet. And it was rude, patronising and totally uncalled for. That's exactly what happened and excuse me for not being happy about it. Why have high chairs in there if a child's laughter is so offending? And to those who want peace there are other places you can go where you won't have to put up with noise from children or even worse obnoxious adults. Maybe stay at home as the problem is as soon as you set foot outside you are in a SOCIETY which includes young, old, noisy, quiet.

I have 4 dc's, even when I used to take all four of them out together when they were younger I was never asked to leave/frowned at/complained about or any of the other things that seem to happen with amazing regularity on mumsnet..Crumbs I even breastfed in a myriad of coffee shops and only once did I get daggers.
I am clearly doing something wrong.
Or maybe I have worked from a position that they are my children and should be able to behave in a way that is generally inoffensive to others and much as I may find them delightful they are not very fascinating to others.

YANBU. Bring on the toddlers!

Well here's a medal for worlds best mom hobnob. Hilarious how I have encountered a horrid woman who took
Her stressful day out on me and my child, why is it so hard to believe? Nothing I have said could possibly lead you to imply I am a sub standard parent. I am always aware and respectful of others. I'm off to enjoy this lovely day with my l child thanks happytalk.

And please be comforted by the fact I am armed with a sick ready to shove in his mouth Incase he dares to laugh in the presence of adults. Bye!

Sock! Armed with a sock!

elsmom fwiw, I just wouldn't go back.
There a plenty of places to go without supporting their business.
Fwiw, I've found that the local independent places are cheaper, less stress and more welcoming.

ROAR at ready to sick in his mouth, bless ya; I know twas a typo but pahahaha

I think you oughtta hide the thread, folk are hot and snippy

Seriously, why are people so eager to assume the OP is lying?

She has no reason to, on an anonymous forum does she?

MN is full of baby haters!

But you do care about the non-incident on the bus, else why mention it? It made you seem a bit precious. As others have said no-one was being deliberately rude. I'm never on buses although frequently on trains. If this had happened on a train it's very unlikely I'd have noticed.

The bus incident was useful IMHO as its recount illustrated the diffence (already mentioned by a fabulous poster ) between the way children are welcomed in many countries and derided in the uk.

Yes. MN is full of baby haters
And mum haters tbh.

No the bus incident indicates to me a bus of people who very likely didn't even notice and a mother getting worked up about this perceived slight against her child.

Yes we know children are made a fuss of a lot more in other countries and that is lovely though sad sometimes it is directed more at boys

but we do not interact with adults or children as much as some cultures

but yet to encounter this precious attitude apart from in the states (it's even worse ime) and Australia

Wrt the bus, I do know that people can be scared to talk to children because of ooh you fucking peedo type of stuff

Anyhoo, hopefully OP has hidden thread