...to be VERY annoyed? DH has "tidied" my wallet into the Rift!

[misanthropologist]

The last time I went for a shop a few days ago, when I came in I put my car keys and wallet on our Hoosier cabinet in the kitchen. I've used my car keys since but not my wallet. I've gone to look for it and DH has gone on a mad tidying binge and the wallet is GONE. Have looked quite literally everywhere I have been in the house, in and under all furniture, but I'm afraid he's tidied it straight into the trash which has already gone. We have differing points of view: he thinks IABU for being annoyed as it "should have been in a purse and hung up", I think HIBVVU as I am no more likely to put my wallet in an effing purse (unless for special occasion) than HE is and he can fecking well leave MY things where I put them. The wallet in question is about four by five inches, brown leather and very obviously not trash or something needing tidied away.

Lastly, his car is having a new water pump put in so is in the shop til tomorrow afternoon. I probably would, but WIBU to withhold MY car keys so he can't go to work until he produces my wallet, bank card, charge cards etc? Even more annoying is that I have a millionty errands to do tomorrow and without my cards, obviously, those are right out.

As a complete aside, this kind of shows the (very interesting to me, because I'm a history/anthropology student with a fascination for languages) difference in UK English/American English terminologies. It's larger than I thought. Like, I had forgotten about the difference in the meaning of 'purse' v 'wallet' v 'handbag'.

Also, neither one of us keep our wallets on the dresser. If they're not set on either that Hoosier cabinet near the garage door, they're on the bookshelf near the front door. It all depends on which door we've last used to come in. We keep them by the doors so there's no "damn, forgotten my wallet" when we're leaving. There would be a lot more forgetting if they were all the way off in the bedroom.

DeWee tell your friend that a good alternative to marriage certificate for proving maiden name is a divorce certificate. That should make her DH think more carefully about disposal of the marriage certificate!

Well I'm going to go against the grain here and say YABU.

If you've ever been the one tidying and been on the receiving end of "where's my X, where have you put it?" then you would understand that if they hadn't left it laying around and had tidied up after themselves in the first place then it wouldn't have gone missing in the first place.

I'd never heard of a Hoosier either, but in the interests of language comparison, it's not a dresser! Don't know if this is the case throughout the UK, but where I'm from they revel in the fairly ghastly name of kitchenette.

Hideous word, fabulous thing.

Plenty on ebay, take a look!

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Vintage-Retro-Mid-Century-1950s-Kitchenette-Larder-Cupboard-Dresser-Shabby-Chic-/161375679290?pt=UK_Collectables_Vintage_RL&hash=item2592bd733a

RedToothBrush I accept that tidying after other people who leave things around is annoying (boy do I, I have DC 15 and 13!) but the Hoosier cabinet as well as the bookshelf I mentioned have been accepted places for keys/wallet etc. for years! I wouldn't have even been annoyed about him throwing away the adverts from the grocery stores, because I can always find them again at the store. But I suspect what he did was carelessly sweep everything (everything = a day's advert-mail and maybe an empty snack wrapper from DCs?) into the bin and my wallet went right in with them unnoticed. I think if I were throwing a fit about "where is my empty, dirty glass I was drinking from two days ago, it was RIGHT THERE!" I would BVVU, but I am just asking him to take an expected amount of care to leave my things where I set them, as I do when I tidy in the living and dining rooms and leave his occasional things (drawing tablet and pens) where he uses them most.

I'm glad you put that mixed.

I think of a dresser as a display cabinet.

Mum & dad used to have a kitchenette-wasn't it just what everyone had before fitted kitchens took over?

Careless tidying - HIBU
Blaming you for the outcome of his carelessness - HIBU
Taking your car without asking you - HIBU

In Summery - HIBVU

Maybe his wallet can go mysteriously missing

My dh on a tidying spree won't even know where he has put his own stuff! (Un) fortunately it doesn't happen very often but somehow always stops short of things like cleaning the toilet. Hope it turns up.

This sounds like an argument me and DP would have!

I would try my best to be forgiving about throwing it away, because I am often a bit clumsy myself and I can imagine I would feel bad for doing that to someone else's wallet.

I would be annoyed about him trying to to pin the blame 100% on me though, that just seems a bit petulant, he should have apologised as out of common courtesy.

My DH "tidies" things into teetering piles or, alternatively, shoved somewhere, anywhere out of his direct line of sight. Why he cannot put things away into the PLACE WHERE THEY BELONG I will never know. He has to make 3 jobs out of every task - we recently got new wardrobes. I emptied my old wardrobe by taking things out and carrying them immediately upstairs to the spare bed until the new ones arrived. He took everything out and put it on the bed. Then it was still there at bedtime so I had to move it to get into bed. Then he moved it from the floor to the bottom of the stairs. Then it finally got into the spare bedroom just in time for the wardrobes to arrive. Maddening!

OP, YANBU. But I suspect you knew that.

Oh, he's now apologised...sort of. "I know you're upset and if it was me that lost your wallet I'm sorry." Well I don't think my gran showed up and nicked it for anything, seeing as how she's eleven years dead, so... His life is going to be MIGHTY inconvenient til it's found. I've got his bank card, he has to go and pick up my and DS' medications because a drivers license has to be presented on pickup... he'll be a bit busier than he likes until the wallet is found or all the stuff is replaced.

I live very near Pennsylvania Amish country

I'm in Ohio! We're neighbors!

I'd kill my husband if he threw away my wallet.

Oh hi hi hi!! I'm in Indiana County, PA, just a bit NE of Pittsburgh! (Not a Steelers fan though, so it's okay, you can still 'talk' to me, haha)

We saw the Steelers at Wembley last year

And we've got lots of Amish and Mennonnite folk around where I am at this very moment (visiting my parents in Ontario).

OP. You should check out the Cunning Linguists topic. It's fascinating and there are entire threads on the differences between American and British English!

Sweet, I will, thanks so much Hearts!

Would there also happen to be a thread around where I can read how accurate or not 'Ladies of London' happens to be....?

misanthropologist - have you suggested that he look in Cardiff. A lot of things that go through the Rift end up in Cardiff.

OP - here's on with US v Aussie translations that you might get a kick out of!

aussiegirlinamerica.blogspot.com/2012/05/lost-in-translation.html

Oh hi hi hi!! I'm in Indiana County, PA, just a bit NE of Pittsburgh! (Not a Steelers fan though, so it's okay, you can still 'talk' to me, haha)

I'm in Cincinnati, right in the heart of Bengal's country, but I'm not into football at all. I don't really get the rivalry.

It's a bit late now, but in the future:

Wallet and key locator.

You are not going to believe this steff13 but I grew up in Cincinnati! Mount Lookout in particular - went to Walnut Hills. And I've never been into (American) football - I'm a fiend for Reds baseball. Also played for the Celts Women's Side rugby when DS13 was wee. I moved away in 2002.

Oh and that wallet/key locator is a) GENIUS and b) on its way to my house!! Thank you so much!

Haha assumed you were American when you said purse and then mentioned wallet. Always amused me when I read a book where someone puts something largeish in their purse! Another one who had no idea what a hoosier was.

I am surprised you hubbie is so casual about this. I would suggest he gets the shopping now but know how crap some men are at shopping when unsupervised.... Perhaps you could hide the tv remote for a while??

Do you think it could be a 'dig' at your spending???? He seems way too unconcerned about it.

Hope getting new cards isn't too much of a hassle. I assume they can add your points onto the Sephora card if it has loyalty points (ignorant of that fact cos we don't have it here in UK though I know we can order stuff).

If you've ever been the one tidying and been on the receiving end of "where's my X, where have you put it?" then you would understand that if they hadn't left it laying around and had tidied up after themselves in the first place then it wouldn't have gone missing in the first place.

Asbsolutely - couldn't agree more, as one who is married to someone who constantly dumps things down, forgets where he's dumped them, blames everyone else because he can't find them..... Grrr.

A 'hoosier' is a boring old kitchen cabinet like your granny had. So much nicer to have the fitted kitchens of today, IMO.

Sorry, didn't realise it was a zombie thread. Just idly MNing whilst said husband is tidying his crap up after having the riot act read to him this morning.