big dramatic title, perhaps less dramatic content (although not for me)
After a year or so of assessments, yesterday our lovely 3 yo DS was officially diagnosed with autism. My head is reeling. I knew that he was different to his peers from a very young age, but after years of reassuring comments like "boys will be boys" etc I honestly thought that I was overreacting/overthinking it all and that he wouldn't be diagnosed with autism.
Yesterday I was told that he will always be autistic, and that it would become more obvious and problematic when he starts school. I do wish the consultant had been a bit 'softer' in her approach, and that I had asked DH to come along with DS and I for support, but in a way I suppose it was a relief to put an end to the 'is he isn't he' debate that played in on a constant loop in my head.
DS is kind, happy, confident - perhaps overly so, which is the main cause for concern. He struggles with the social side of things, he gets overly excited and over confident, which I think causes other children at pre school etc to move away from him, I think he can be seen as an annoyance - loud and bouncy. We are new to the area and consequently I dont have a network of friends with children to conjure up throughout the holidays. He has no real friends, although is desperate for some. He asks about birthday parties, best friends etc, things he hears about but hasn't really been able to participate in. Thinking like this breaks my heart.
With 6 weeks ahead of us, I decided to take him and DS2 to the park today for him to let off steam. He approached a group of older children and straight away joined in their game of standing on the roundabout, whooping with happiness, constantly chatting and babbling and repeating certain phrases they were using (he does this a lot). They looked at him like he was mad, laughed at him, told him to stand on the roundabout and took it on turns to try and knock him off it (by pushing the roundabout faster and faster - before I had to intervene). They tired of the game and then just kept running away from him. He asked me where his new friends had gone. I am not a crier, I am rarely emotional. However, I sat at the side of the park watching it all and sobbing, entire body heaving sobs.
I think I need time to let the news sink in. There are many things to be grateful for, including the fact that DS is unaffected by many of the traits that can go with ASD. But at the moment I just dont feel like I can cope with the constant feeling of sadness for him. I would do anything for him, but I cant get him a friend can i? Or protect him from situations like today, which will happen so many times in his childhood. I have been keeping a brave face as best I can, but husband is away tonight and I am lying in bed feeling dreadful.
AIBU?
to think our lovely family wont ever be the same now
tigerpug · 24/07/2014 23:34
If nobody has told you yet, and I am sure they will have (not rtft) 
go over to the special needs children board. they are lovely over there.
Yes it can be a shock. but all is not lost. though I may not have been so positive on saturday when it was ASD central round here.
You are lucky to have an early diagnosos in time for school. That will really help ease the way. (even though maybe you don't feel like that right now) you wil not have stupid head telling you that he will sort hin out in three months...
You may also get a lovely cuddly boy, who sits on your knee and make sure you put in all the capital letters that you are normally too lazy to use! ZZZZzzzzzzz! he has just added the zzz!
Yes. Echolalia has been the way in for my boy to start building sentences from learnt words, he has made functional language from it.
Ps and lovely pics too granny and videos saintly thanks - sorry your gorgeous DSs have such a tough time of it, you sound the most amazing mothers both of you 
Similarly to the surfing my DH found a lot of sensory calm in skateboarding.
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