People who can't make a simple bloody choice.

[MilkandCereal]

AIBU to want to kill,or maim someone who asks you to get them something from the supermarket,and when asked which flavour they'd like say 'It doesn't matter'. Only to turn their nose up at the flavour you do bring,in spite of asking them again,instore,which they'd prefer?

Surely any jury would be understanding?

Oh the XPIL over tea/coffee... "Whichever is easiest". Well, kind of neither because I don't drink hot drinks and I'm putting the kettle on just for you. And a spoonful of instant coffee is about the same on easy scale and getting a tea bag from a box. There's no Krupps machine, no teapot...
They know this.
They make it the same at home.
I've given up now. It winds me up too much! So I just say "coffee?" And they say yes or no. They want tea, they'll damn well have to ask!!

The easiest thing to do is to take the choice away; "Would you like tea?", "I'll go and put the pizza we're having for dinner on".

Mind you I don't care if I upset people, life is too short!

This thread has really hit a nerve.

I really truly thought that

• it's not my place to decide
• it would be rude to be abrupt and decisive
• surely it's easier for everyone if I just say 'I don't mind'
• people will think I'm demanding and grabby if I decide on something
• I will be disappointed if I make a decision and then it's not available

And many more...

No wonder DP hates it when he has to nip to the shops, with my non specific requests. Because I am always openly disappointed that he hasn't managed to guess the exact product I really wanted.

Right. Time to change :)

Oh, family never has a choice over meals (unless I've had a binge-cooking day for freezer meals and they happen to be still sitting in saucepans). If you don't like what's for dinner: there's the bread, there's the ham - make yourself a sandwich

I have often got annoyed with guests who, if you offer them something, eg, "Would you like some lunch?" of "Would you like to stay for dinner?" and they answer with "I don't mind". Aaargghhhh - it really gets to me. Do you or do you not? Yes or No? We haven't even reached the point of choice yet!!!!!!!!!! This happens a lot in South Wales, I found.

PookBob - aww, bless!
But yep, time for change

or, not of!

Why does this pesky site change what you have typed - I KNOW I typed "or"

This thread has been an eye opener...

Made me realise I ammean mean mean.

I never ask anyone what they want, what flavour etc.

It has never even occurred to me

OMFG this

My family and DH family are completely different with this

My family are very direct:

Me: Would you like a drink?
Mum/Dad: Cup of tea please.

His family have some convoluted code of what I assume is meant to be politeness and drives me absolutely round the fucking bend:

Me: Would you like a drink?
FIL: If you're making one
Me: (already baffled TBH as no I'm not making one generally he's just arrived and I'm offering him a drink) Well I can get something, would you like a drink?
FIL: Well if it's no trouble
Me: It's no trouble at all would you like something?
FIL: If it's no trouble
Me: It's no trouble what would you like?
FIL: Whatever you're having
Me: I'm not having anything but I can get you something what would you like?
FIL: Well if you're not having anything don't worry on my account
Me: It's fine what would you like?
FIL: I don't mind
Me: tea or coffee? Juice? Water?
FIL: I don't mind
Me: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WE HAVE BEEN AT THIS FOR 20 MINUTES JUST TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT TO DRINK AND I WILL GET IT. Well not really. We carry on in the same vein for approximately 18 months and eventually prise out of him the fact that he will have a cup of tea

It does my head in. It's just a totally different way of communicating. He probably finds my family a bit abrupt.

I am trying to train him to just tell me the answer already, but clearly for the rest of them I can't do that!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Oh I switch to DH at the end there, it is him who probably finds my family a bit abrupt and am trying to train a bit! Not FIL obv.