People who can't make a simple bloody choice.

[MilkandCereal]

AIBU to want to kill,or maim someone who asks you to get them something from the supermarket,and when asked which flavour they'd like say 'It doesn't matter'. Only to turn their nose up at the flavour you do bring,in spite of asking them again,instore,which they'd prefer?

Surely any jury would be understanding?

The phrase "if you like" is the bane of my life.

Me - would you like x?
Dh - If you like

Aaaargh not if I like I am asking you if you would like it!!!

I have been known to snap "well I don't like so where does that leave you/your opinion" usually followed by the text book male defensive humph.

Just say what you want or like fgs!!

My mother does this. One day I am going to snap, I know it.

In her case, I truly believe that it is a test. If we loved her enough, we'd know exactly what she wants and give it to her.

If we fail the test, she is in a right mood for hours.

Similar to her habit of refusing to ask for help on the grounds that "if you have to ask, it's meaningless, they should know". Getting huffy if you don't do it because if you cared you would but also getting huffy if you do it cos you're doing it wrong, and then telling you to stop because she'll only have to do it again.

No jury in the world would convict me. In fact, they'd probably pin a medal on me

Balaboosta what about when they say "oh whatever you are making." Look I'm not a bloody barista, it's going to be either popping a teabag in a mug or a spoonful of coffee granules, you cannot possibly be inconvenience me by choosing one over the other.

Me: What shall we do today?
DH: I dont know.
Me: What would you like for tea?
DH: I dont know.
Me: Any ideas where you would like to go on holiday this year?
DH: I dont know.
Me: Do you prefer this one or that one?
DH: I dont know.

and so it goes........

What about "I'm easy" in answer to a question such as "what do you want to do today?" then you make the decision what with them being so easy 'n' all and their body language and facial expressions let you know in no uncertain terms that they are in no way shape or form 'easy'.

We should compile a list of phrases/actions that come under the heading "person reacting to these will not face any prosecution whatsoever but will be knighted, have a seat in the House of Lords and 1 million pounds"

It drives me bananas when I ask someone if they want tea or coffee and they reply. I don't mind as long as it's wet!
Make a decision please! Think this is because I am so fussy with my tea!

I actually lost it a bit with MIL a few weeks ago when she was dithering over coffee. I said "It's a yes or no question MIL, make a decision."
It worked!

I had a friend who did this so much that when she went off on one with me and stopped being my friend I didn't miss her at all as I had no idea of anything she thought or liked. She was just an "I don't mind" void.

Oh my word! My mum does this. ALL THE FRICKING TIME!!! Drives me batty. I already make decisions for me, DH and DD I do not need another person to make decisions for.
She genuinely believes she is being less hassle and less of an inconvenience. But she isn't. It's impossible to constantly keep deciding what someone else wants!!!'

Now I've read Couldnt's post - almost exactly the same as mine - I'm a bit worried about your friend's kids, Niger. Is she a liberal user of "You'll get what you're given" type phrases, by any chance? I hate to think of more kids growing up to feel they've no entitlement to ask for anything.

Having been guilty of this a lot in the past I'll freely admit it's frustrating as anything but can I please make a plea to people who prompt the 'i'm easy'-ness - STOP! As in;

Mother: "Do you want tea, or I've got some orange juice in?"
Me: "Errrrr..... orange juice please"
Mother: "Sure? I can make you a tea if you want"
Me: "Well, are you making tea?"
Mother: "No, I'm having a coffee, but you can have a tea"
Me: "I'm fine with orange thanks"
Mother: "Ok, if that's ok for you"

ARGH! I'd be fine with either so it's far too tempting to say 'either/I'm easy/whatever you're having' if any firm decision is only going to get questioned.

Think everyone should agree to say what they want when they want and not fecking question anyone else's decisions - if they wanted a cup of tea but didn't say then tough they don't get one.

I used to do this as a child, not sure when I grew out of it. I think it was related to being the youngest in a larger family, and our parents not allowing us to have many choices for an easier life.

I do this. When I go to a restaurant I ask the waiter to pick my meal!

Also had strict upbringing. I actually don't care though. I like to be surprised. Its as bit like being the dice man.

hammy, I hope I don't prompt the "I'm easy" response, I ask direct questions and don't query, or add options if they give me a direct answer back.

My Dad does it (I love him dearly, BUT)
Me: Would you like a tea or coffee, Dad?
Dad: Yes please
Me: Which then, tea or coffee?
Dad: Either/or, I'm easy

I bring him coffee

Dad: Oh, I'd have liked a cup of tea

Me: HEAD BANGING ON WALL

- - - -
FIL is diabetic

Me: Would you like tea or coffee?
FIL: Tea please
Me: With a sweetener?
FIL: Yes, just one.
I bring tea
FIL: Why does this tea taste funny - have you sugared it?

(Me Inwardly screaming - NO I PUT A FREAKING SWEETENER IN IT BECAUSE YOU ASKED)

Me Outwardly calm, "Oh, sorry - would you like a fresh one" ( over your head )

"Oh can you just pop to the shop and get me something for dinner as I'm going to be late arriving. Nothing fancy, but has to be vegan. Some kind of ready meal. No tomatoes either."

Could manage to wolf down non-vegan cake the next day though couldn't she!

I find it very frustrating when people won't say what they like and then complain. That's passive aggressive sweary shit bollocks. But some people are just easy going, or have grown up not wanting to say, and I when I get the 'whatever' sort of response from them I offer a precise option!

I think people saying they don't mind and then complaining is very different to those who just say they don't mind because they think it's easier on the other person. The latter can definitely be due to lack of confidence/low self esteem. Just tell them (nicely!) that it makes it easier for you if they make a decision, because they may genuinely be trying to avoid being awkward and not realise.

Hmm I wonder if it's partly a British thing. You never say what you mean in many everyday situations (sorry sweeping generalisation of course), so why stop at choice?
I totally agree with OP though - drives me bonkers when people do it to me!! And also if they ask my opinion and I'll give it but it wasn't actually wanted at all, in fact I was expected to say "I don't mind"... Same situation reversed. I've lived in the UK for over 20 years now and am still struggling with this.

Me - What do you fancy for tea?
DH- Anything love.
Me - Cheese omelette and salad?
DH- Not cheese .....and I don't fancy salad.
Me- What then? Tuna Pasta.
DH (pulls a face) Not pasta or fish.
Me - You have a think then and tell me when you've decided.
5 mins later
DH - Lu, I know exactly what I would like. Macaroni cheese.
Me- Would that be made with cheese and pasta?
DH- What's your point?

DH does this. I have been known to stand in supermarkets shouting "I need direction!" down the phone.

I agree that it's to do with low self-esteem. They probably don't realise they are doing it.

Lulu Why on earth are you still asking him?

Oh God this drives me mad. DH will tell me he eats anything, but this is the conversation we had yesterday:

Me: I'm having soup tonight, do you want me to take something out of the freezer for you?

Him: Don't mind. Anything.
Me: Well, okay, then if you will eat anything, you don't need to bother cooking. You can have soup. Or there's lots of things in the fridge.
Him: Oh good! What? [as an aside - what does he think I'm going to say? He's eaten with us all week, he knows what we had. "Oh, I bought a dozen fresh oysters and some foie gras, darling, forgot to mention"]
Me: Well, two types of curry.
Him: Ugh, had that yesterday, sick of it.
Me: Or there's penne with meatballs.
Him: Oh God no.
Me: Or sausages
Him, witheringly: Sausages? For dinner? Is that it?
Me: Yes. There are two types of curry, a pasta dish, a soup and some sausages available. You said you would eat anything. Would you, in fact, like me to take something else out of the freezer for you?
Him: I guess I'll go buy something from the shops.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH.

I think GarlicJulyKit is my secret twin. I never realized I had the right to an opinion on anything let alone what food I ate.

Now I know better and say what I'd like and if it's not available and someone brings me an alternative they still brought me something so I won't reject it.

I used to do this till I read threads on here saying how infuriating it was to be on the receiving end.

I did it most if I was staying in someone's house because I didn't want to inconvenience/impose on, anyone, esp with the "What do you want to do today" sort of question. I just couldn't see how flipping maddening it might be and now I work hard at saying what I want.

I also think it sometimes has to do with feeling 'undeserving' which is definitely true in my case. I hate to ask for or accept offers of help for the same reason - because at some level I don't feel I deserve it :( Am working v hard at this too and now if anyone offers to help me, I accept.