To think my colleague fancies his patient?!

[MojitoCake]

This will probably sound strange and I could just be reading too much into things because I'm bored on maternity leave with 2 weeks until due date and jealous of anybody even remotely attractive.

My colleague is a young (30) guy and easy to talk to although not previously flirtatious to any colleagues or patients. Anyway, before I left for maternity leave he had an appointment with a very pretty and strikingly tall and curvy young woman, I noticed how his face lit up as soon as he saw her and he seemed quite awkward when standing next to her. Obviously I don't know what happened during the appointment but it went on for longer than a standard appointment for her issue would and during his lunch break he kept talking about how unexpectedly different the appointment was and how he was amazed he and the patient share such similar political interests. He kept smiling at her across the room as she sat waiting for her prescription in the waiting room.

Anyway, the same girl then came in yesterday (I was visiting my colleagues for lunch) and his face literally lit up when he saw she was in the waiting room. He said 'hello there, how are you?' and she raised her eyebrows at him and smiled

I feel so tragic even making this thread because it clearly shows how I have far too much time on my hands but aibu to think my colleague wants to shag his patient?

Sandthorn, your post has given me a mental image of the OP walking around the surgery, hoiking her judgy pants, glaring at patient and doctor and sniffing pointedly.

It's not allowed in any place, not just yours. AFAIK.

Not "allowed"?

A lot of people meet their OH at work. At this moment in my office there are a young man and a young woman - both single - whose feelings for each other in the six weeks since she joined are entirely obvious. It's potentially a bugger for management but as long as there is no imbalance of power, and these two are both at the same lowly level, management have to cope with it. In fact even if there is an imbalance of power they have to cope with it, it's just more difficult. Except in the very special case of medic and patient, teacher and (school but 18-year old) pupil, and the like, there is nothing to be done about it.

Yes, it isn't allowed in the healthcare setting. I wasn't talking about offices and the like.

Yes, it isn't allowed in the healthcare setting. I wasn't talking about offices and the like.

What isn't? To fancy someone? Or to do something about it? I don't think you can really ban a lit up face and a friendly smile. I am not even sure that necessarily constitutes flirting.

tigger have you read my posts on this thread at all? Because you will see I've pointed out he hasn't done anything wrong.

I was replying to this: that at our surgery romantic relationships are not allowed with patients

Thanks for the clarification Morphine :)

I think they'd have to be the thought police to stop people from fancying others

So??? Did he do anything that could be called into question, so people find others attractive, you can't worry about what might happen. Are you a DR also?

Morphine haha, indeed It doesn't seem like this dude is doing anything other than showing his lit up face anyway, so not really sure what the hoo-ha is about and what that has to do with his wife and baby. I am sure being married or in a relationship has never stopped anyone from fancying other people. Doing something about it is, of course, a different question but, so far, apart from the perceived issue of unethical behaviour, I am not really seeing what's wrong here.

It's more unethical to be discussing the woman on here, these details make her very identifiable! If she were reading she could easily get the OP pulled up in front of the NMC

Poor bloke. Op, do you have a little crush on this doctor? A touch of the green eyed monster? It really seems that way. YABVU.

If you're really a practice nurse you should know full well that there would be no point the patient seeing the nurse for pain behind the eyes.

I'm a pretty experienced practice nurse and know sweet FA about eyes and eye pain.

Anyway working in primary healthcare is so bloody stressful and can be immensely tedious anything that brightens the day is to be seized upon and enjoyed. It's not like he's going to do anything with the gorgeous young woman he's seen, not if he values his career.

Given that most male patients I see are elderly, infirm or have something gross wrong with them if I see a hottie it lifts my spirits. I'm only human.

I'm a HCP and have found a few service users attractive over the years and probably some have thought the same about me.

There's actually no way on earth to stop that when you're dealing with human beings!. You don't act on it and you maintain professional boundaries but you can't stop people finding someone else attractive!.

The OP seems to spend a lot of time watching this Dr, even noticing his facial expressions!. There's usually only one reason we watch people THAT closely.

You sound utterly unprofessional and not a little unhinged. I would be most unimpressed to hear that one of my nurses was discussing a Dr and patient like this on the internet. It may even be grounds for a formal warning.
The patient may be on here and the story is very recognizable if I were you I'd ask MN to remove the thread.

Erm surely it is unprofessional of YOU to disclose what her appointment was for?!

Eh, it could mean something, it could mean nothing.

DH has some female colleagues that he gets along great with and looks forward to working with. He's constantly chatting with them or texting them.

He just likes them, come to find out I meet some of them and they're just like "Oh yes, he doesn't shut up about you or DD". :)

So he could just be happy he found a kindred spirit.

a pretty face who fancies herself as a revolutionary and no idea why she didn't go to the optician first are the two phrases that make me wonder if there is a little bit more than concern for ethics or the wife here.

Firstly, how do we know the person didn't see her optician first? Secondly, discussing political views doesn't mean anyone fancies themselves as a revolutionary. Writing a list of blogs during appointment time is also not that unreasonable unless he spent an hour or half the day doing it. The list may have consisted of 4-5 blog titles, which would take him all of 2 minutes to write! We are all human. He could have spent this time getting a cup of tea or a glass of water and it wouldn't have been unreasonable or unacceptable! And even if he does fancy the woman, so what? He hasn't committed any crime this far!

I think you have copped an unfair drumming here OP.

Listen to your instincts. You saw the encounter, we didn't.

What encounter is that, wonc?
The one where he saw her in the waiting room and said "hello, how are you?"
The filthy pervert!

You can't tell when someone is overly interested in someone else?
The OP feels he displays an unhealthy level of interest IN A PATIENT.
To be called unhinged is quite unfair, considering she saw it. We didn't.

Unhealthy?
I thought it was perfectly healthy for attractive men to fancy attractive women?
There's not a shred of evidence he's done anything inappropriate so what is the problem, exactly?

You're right, we only have the OP's perception, but I believe her. I don't think it's healthy for a GP to be obviously interested in a patient.

N.b tell dp he must not say hi to other females, show an interest in their interests or smile at them.

Dunno about you, wonc, but when I deal with an attractive man in ANY context, I go a bit divvy. I'd like to flatter myself that I'd still know to behave professionally and not cross and taboo/illegal boundaries.

What, actually, has the man done wrong? Had a conversation about politics? Said hello in the waiting room? Found her attractive, even?

Sigh. I am so not in the mood for this fight but by all means carry on building your straw man.

OP if you are still reading, good luck with your pregnancy and please do listen to your instincts despite this thread.