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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my colleague fancies his patient?!

97 replies

MojitoCake · 23/07/2014 16:03

This will probably sound strange and I could just be reading too much into things because I'm bored on maternity leave with 2 weeks until due date and jealous of anybody even remotely attractive.

My colleague is a young (30) guy and easy to talk to although not previously flirtatious to any colleagues or patients. Anyway, before I left for maternity leave he had an appointment with a very pretty and strikingly tall and curvy young woman, I noticed how his face lit up as soon as he saw her and he seemed quite awkward when standing next to her. Obviously I don't know what happened during the appointment but it went on for longer than a standard appointment for her issue would and during his lunch break he kept talking about how unexpectedly different the appointment was and how he was amazed he and the patient share such similar political interests. He kept smiling at her across the room as she sat waiting for her prescription in the waiting room.

Anyway, the same girl then came in yesterday (I was visiting my colleagues for lunch) and his face literally lit up when he saw she was in the waiting room. He said 'hello there, how are you?' and she raised her eyebrows at him and smiled

I feel so tragic even making this thread because it clearly shows how I have far too much time on my hands but aibu to think my colleague wants to shag his patient?

OP posts:
Gruntfuttock · 23/07/2014 16:39

All you've seen is evidence that he probably fancies a patient, which is the same as seeing evidence that he's a normal human being. What you have not seen is evidence that he is pursuing a sexual relationship with her. I can't see why you're making a big deal out of it.

MojitoCake · 23/07/2014 16:39

I'm not a doctor, I'm a nurse and I said further up the thread that at our surgery romantic relationships are not allowed with patients. I'm not going to do anything about it as such but I was just wondering whether I'm imagining things due to boredom. It was just very out of character for him Smile

OP posts:
MorphineDreams · 23/07/2014 16:40

People can fancy other people. As long as you don't act on it I don't see a problem.

Coldlightofday · 23/07/2014 16:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MorphineDreams · 23/07/2014 16:41

It's not allowed in any place, not just yours. AFAIK.

Gruntfuttock · 23/07/2014 16:42

Well, none of us are there so how are we to know whether you're imagining it? By the way, romantic relationships between doctors and patients are not allowed in any surgery, not just yours.

MojitoCake · 23/07/2014 16:44

SlicedandDiced thank you for seeing my point! She should have made an appointment with an optician or a nurse for her eye, she did not need a doctor and to drag on the appointment whilst they talked politics is ridiculous. Add in the fact he's married with a child and I think its understandable I'm a bit confused by it all. I'm sure his wife wouldn't be happy about this and neither would the other patients if they knew the reason why their appointment was running behind schedule, its not their fault a pretty face who fancies herself as a revolutionary had an appointment before them!

OP posts:
Baaaaaaaaaaaa · 23/07/2014 16:45

Even as a receptionist I would expect her to be familiar with the guidelines governing relationshios. Heck, I don't even work in the health industry I know about them.

Baaaaaaaaaaaa · 23/07/2014 16:47

Aaah, I see, a receptionist who can diagnose whether a patient needs a dr or an optician, but not know about GMC guidelines.

MorphineDreams · 23/07/2014 16:47

a pretty face who fancies herself as a revolutionary had an appointment before them

ODFO.

What an absolutely disgusting thing to say.

Coldlightofday · 23/07/2014 16:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BitOutOfPractice · 23/07/2014 16:53

How do you know that the appointmnt went on for too long for her condition? She might have had something else she needed to discuss with him.

He's not having a romantic relationship with her. They have, at most, smiled at each other.

I think you need a hobby OP

iklboo · 23/07/2014 16:53

'Being different' might also mean a change from whining, demanding, obnoxious patients who never listen to medical advice.

Fancying someone isn't against the law. Or GMC guidelines. ACTING on it is - but you've no evidence of that, have you?

MrsBoldon · 23/07/2014 16:54

Why do you dislike someone you don't know?.

This isn't about him being married or clinical time being misused is it? What's really getting to you so much? Seems like a massive overreaction.

Gruntfuttock · 23/07/2014 16:54

I'm beginning to wonder if you're very slightly envious of the patient's good looks, OP.

CaptainTrollolololol · 23/07/2014 16:54

Aw, I think the nurse has a crush on the doctor but his eye is on the patient and now she feels sad :(

MorphineDreams · 23/07/2014 16:54

NurseyWursey, is that you?

theladywiththelamp · 23/07/2014 16:56

Get a grip, OP.
You sound jealous because she is attractive. People go to their GP's for way more petty, ridiculous things than a headache. As you should well know. Any chance because you are pregnant you are feeling righteous on behalf of his wife and new baby at this supposed indiscretion? Hate to say it, but even married men with kids can actually fancy other women. He is allowed to find a patient interesting without being a cheating bastard. Especially if all he sees all day is chest infections and gout. YABU.

CaptainTrollolololol · 23/07/2014 16:58

Oooh whatever happened to nurseywursey? Did she get outed as not being one in the end?

Baaaaaaaaaaaa · 23/07/2014 16:58

YABVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVU actually :D

tiggerkid · 23/07/2014 16:58

OP, are you simply asking if it's unreasonable for your colleague to fancy his patient full stop or if it's unreasonable for you to think that it's unreasonable for him to fancy his patient?

If it's the former, then based on the information provided I don't think it's unreasonable for him to fancy his patient. We are all human and can have any feelings. Even if neither of them is available, he can still fancy her. Whether he or they do anything about it in this scenario is entirely up to them and would obviously bring a different question. If both of them are available and fancy each other, then provided there is no so called conflict of professional interest, it's definitely not unreasonable because they would be two consenting adults (assuming the patient is an adult?)

If it's the latter, the answer would depend on why you think it's unreasonable.

CatKisser · 23/07/2014 16:58

its not their fault a pretty face who fancies herself as a revolutionary had an appointment before them!

You sound horrible! Have you been trying to stir up shit about this with colleagues who've refused to bite, by any chance?

MorphineDreams · 23/07/2014 16:59

From what I read yes!

CaptainTrollolololol · 23/07/2014 17:00

Oooooh! Grin

Sandthorn · 23/07/2014 17:19

Reading between the lines, I'd guess that OP would like to be (or used to) flirting with this doctor, but because he's more interested in another woman, she's suddenly come over all morally outraged.

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