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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give away my three year olds mattress and buy one for the new baby

45 replies

bleurghblah · 23/07/2014 14:52

You are supposed to buy new but the mattress looks as good as new and has never ever had poo or wee or sick on it. Would anyone want it or does everyone buy new mattresses?

I don't want to ask anyone in real life as I suspect if I offer it to anyone whilst saying it's not good enough for my next baby then I will not come across very well. I hope I don't come across as an a hole now it just seems ridiculous to Throw away something which looks as good as new.

Be kind, I am heavily pregnant and hot and prone to tears anyway

OP posts:
Chippednailvarnish · 23/07/2014 14:54

If its not good enough for you, then bin it.

stargirl1701 · 23/07/2014 14:54

Is it a foam mattress? My understanding is that over time foam degrades and gives off fumes which may be linked to SIDS. I don't know how accurate this is though.

kinkyfuckery · 23/07/2014 14:57

Why isn't it good enough for your new baby, but is for someone else's?

PintOfTea · 23/07/2014 14:58

I breifly dithered over this, then chucked it. For a start, who would you give it to?

I reckon many keep and reuse mattresses, buy I've not heard of anyone using a secind hand for their pfb. IF, they did, it would be because it came with the 2nd hand cot...

PintOfTea · 23/07/2014 15:01

kinky, I wouldnt use a 2nd mattress or carseat but people do. It's their own choice to make. Op is simply asking whether it is wirth offering anyone the chance, not making a decision for them.

Op, unless you know a charity shop will take it, chuck it and forget it.

Kittykatmacbill · 23/07/2014 15:02

You need to get a new mattress for the baby, and discard the old one. You can't pass it on, as it goes against all the cot death advice.

Ps being pregnant in this weather is horrible isn't it?

PintOfTea · 23/07/2014 15:02

Typos galore, sorry.

Pico2 · 23/07/2014 15:04

You can pass it on as a dog bed.

Floundering · 23/07/2014 15:05

Can't abide waste- YANBU to change it for your baby though, why not donate the old one to your nearest cat or dog rescue?

They always need bedding, bung in an old baby blanket or sheet & they've got a bed for the next visitor.

morethanpotatoprints · 23/07/2014 15:09

I don't know anyone who used a second hand mattress, you are supposed to buy new. Brilliant for a dog bed though, agree with others.

TheWanderingUterus · 23/07/2014 15:12

I bought a new one for my second child.

The old one covered with a throw on the floor (and some cushions) was used for five years as a reading /relaxing space for the DC, somewhere for me to sit /kneel when the kids wanted me to play on the floor, extra seating in the garden and it's currently in the kids playhouse for them to sit on now it's looking a bit sad. It was great as I could lean it against things to get it out of the way.

DS is about to grow out of his small size bed and the kids already have plans about what they are going to do with the mattress!

Bannakaffalatta · 23/07/2014 15:12

There are some charities that take second hand mattresses and car seats etc. I have been passing all my youngest a stuff on as don't plan on having more.

These are often church based charities and will pass to refugees for example. It's easy to forget but there are still people in this country who can't afford a cot or mattress or car seat. There are still babies and toddlers sleeping all night in a buggy so a clean decent well looked after mattress is preferable though I'm
Sure it doesn't apply to your friends.

ElephantsNeverForgive · 23/07/2014 15:16

My PFB got a second hand crib mattress, it was a weird size, I couldn't find a new one.

She's 16 and the evidence against old mattress is still just as ropy.

As for the crib, it's been used by her younger sister and the person I borrowed it off for her younger DCs.

loudarts · 23/07/2014 15:19

My older 4 all used the same mattress, not recommended but it didn't do them any harm . It was a quite expensive sprung one tho not foam

ikeaismylocal · 23/07/2014 15:22

There will be some people who have the option of a manky 2nd hand mattress possibly with mould and bodily fluid stains, or op's good quality 2nd hand mattress.

I would approach a refuge or a charity who work with very vulnerable families like refugees.

I wouldn't want to use a 2nd hand mattress for a newborn but I would use a 2nd hand one if the baby was over 6 months ( if something had happened to their original mattress, if it had got damp for example)

Ideally every baby and child would have a new mattress and new carseat, unfortunately this isn't the case so it's a good idea to donate good quality used items.

TheLovelyBoots · 23/07/2014 15:24

Why would you even consider this?

Lauren83 · 23/07/2014 15:27

I think its a lovely kind offer, for all those on here saying yabu there will me many people who would snap your hand off I'm sure

I guess the majorly wouldn't be on mumsnet though

nigerdelta · 23/07/2014 15:27

Women's shelter would have it.
I think I had 2nd hand for first born, would do it again, too.

dashoflime · 23/07/2014 15:40

How big is the 3 year olds mattress?

If we're talking about a moses basket mattress I'd say chuck it because of the (slight) SIDS risk.

If its a cot or toddler bed mattress then it might still be useable by someone as SIDS risk drops massively after 6 months. I's say its still useable safely for a baby 6 months or up.

Bannakaffalatta I'm Shock that you know of a charity that provides second hand car seats to refugees.
They have no way of knowing the history of those items and a car seat which has been in a crash before will not provide protection in a subsequent accident.

The cot mattresses is less bad because the SIDS risk is unproven and because children under 6 months are less at risk. It would still be preferable to fundraise to provide new items I would think.

Mine has loads of 2nd hand stuff but will not compromise on safety and don't see why anyone else should be expected to- no matter how poor.

Mouthfulofquiz · 23/07/2014 16:57

I got a new mattress but keep the old one downstairs for occasional use - naps etc. Would be handy if I had to have one of my nephews to stay over etc.

Original poster
bleurghblah · 23/07/2014 17:45

I am not expecting anyone else to at all I had no expectations which was why I asked people's opinions. I will contact a charity and ask them do they want it.

yes it is HORRIBLE being this fat in this heat and thank you to all the people here who defended me asking too.

Just because I wouldn't doesn't mean other people won't.

OP posts:
Igggi · 23/07/2014 17:45

It is handy to have a mattress to put next to the bed when your dc "move up". Mine is often to be found sleeping on it having rolled out of bed!

SaucyJack · 23/07/2014 17:49

If it isn't safe for your baby, then it won't be for anybody else's.

In fact, it's probably even less safe for other people's kid as it'll be covered in the bacteria unique to your house/family- which your PSB will build up immunity to.

Toottootoffwego · 23/07/2014 17:50

I read your title as "AIBU to give away my three year olds."
Right now, listening to my own, no, YANBU.

phantomnamechanger · 23/07/2014 17:57

we used the same mattress for DD1&2, 2 yr age gap between them
we had to buy DS a new one as it had gone mouldy being leant up against the wall in a damp room!
But we still have his now (not the mouldy one) and we use it as a put-you-up for kids on the floor.

There are PLENTY of people who for whatever reason have NO OPTION but to use second hand of everything, regardless of what the advice might be. So yes, OP, please do try to pass it on. Anything is better than it going straight to landfill. If you advertise it on freecycle or similar, just don't be surprised if someone wants it for their dog kennel or insulating their shed (I know someone who was collecting old duvets to put in between the outer shed wall and and inner wall)