Apologies for the over-dramatic title but it unfortunately describes my situation pretty accurately right now. I am posting here as it gets the most traffic (am I right?) and quite frankly, I need a kick up the arse! This will be long - sorry.
I am basically in a world of shit right now: I have been living with my (now ex) partner and in-laws since last Autumn, since we both got made redundant last summer and could no longer afford our rental property. I have only managed to find sporadic temp work since and exP was out of work for a staggering SEVEN months (unheard of for him), but has been in regular full-time work since February. It is still contracting though, so not 100% stable.
I have a DS of 12 from a prior relationship and a DD of 2 from current/exP, both living with us and both fantastic kids, truly. I am also almost 6 months pregnant, due to a spectacular contraceptive failure at the beginning of the year (no one quite knows when). We have all been sleeping/living in one average sized double room and sharing the kitchen and bathroom. Although in-laws have been very kind to welcome us and I am grateful for the roof over our heads, it has been a very difficult existence to be honest.
Upon discovering I was pregnant, ex-P tried to pressure me into getting an abortion. I was not thrilled with the timing of being pregnant myself but I just couldn't go through with it (I lost a baby 11 years ago at about 19 weeks - this may be why). Perhaps I was selfish not to terminate? I dare say so. As a result, ex-P split with me, saying he would "see and support the kid" but was fed up of all my disasters and was done with me. He has implied I got pregnant deliberately (not true)!!! So we have been living in the same house/ same ROOM since early April, as a separated couple. It has been a living hell.
Relationship with now exP has been quite frankly awful anyway since my pregnancy with our DD. He is very emotionally abusive and can be cruel. He has also been violent in the past but not for some time (I think his behaviour has improved now that DD is getting older). My DS is unaware of ex-P's behaviour, as he seems to hold it in for every-other-weekend when my DS stays over at his dad's. He does not yet know we have split. Hardly anyone knows! This is one saving grace.
Ex-P and his parents decided in June that they wanted me and the kids to approach the council to "get a council house" as they put it. They basically gave me a date to get out by (17th). I can't really blame them for not wanting to put up with this situation any longer, so I did. The council bargained for them to let me stay for 5 more weeks, on the proviso that I went out and searched for a private rental that accepts housing benefit (which they would then pay for, along with the deposit). I was relieved to hear that and set about looking high and low. I am not kidding when I tell you I have done over 800 miles in my car in just over a month!!! Every estate agent in a 50 mile radius must have my details and it hasn't been easy, being pregnant and trying to keep my toddler DD from getting fractious going in and out of these places. Most agents/landlords are not accepting DSS at all now, so a lot of these visits have been futile.
Never-the-less, I was offered just ONE property in all this time. It was slightly more than housing benefit were willing to pay (benefit cap) but my ex-P was willing to top up (so as to keep the kids nearby) and my dad agreed to be my guarantor. It was agreed in theory.
I found said property in the 1st of July. Myself and the estate agent kept in touch regularly and we continually phoned/emailed the council and in particular, the woman assigned to deal with my case every couple of days or so but she just continually outright ignored us both. It was only on the 17th of July, after I threatened to complain, that the council got back to the estate agent about letting me the property, by which point the landlady of the property had decided enough was enough and let the house out to a private renter. The day before. I am heartbroken - this was my only chance to get housed and they completely fucked it up for me - either by incompetence or corruption. I have kept a paper trail on the bastards though.
I have put in an official complaint, but the bottom line is that I have to be out of the house by Friday. (Was originally supposed to be today)! There is no one else that can take us in. The council have said I am to present myself to them on Friday at 2pm and they will put me in temporary emergency accommodation. But they warned me that this could be anywhere in the country and was unlikely to be nearby. Apparently the Midlands or up north is a possibility (I am currently in London). I have also been told that if I refuse the accommodation, that the council have no obligation to help me. Ever again.
I don't mean to be rude or ungrateful, but I cannot just up and leave my area! My son is at school locally and spends every-other-weekend with his dad and although his dad can't have him full time (he works mostly nights), we are amicable and I do not want to deprive them of a regular relationship with each other and I cannot afford to travel long distances if I'm up north. Despite my tense relationship with ex-P, I also do not think it's right that he should lose all access to his DD. I am under consultant care at my local hospital for blood issues during this pregnancy - what about that also?! This is the council's fuck up and now they've got me backed into a corner and are refusing to help me unless I pack up my life and do what they say! I have a life here and so do my kids - I don't mind moving a county or two out but 100's of miles away? No way! Why are they punishing us for their incompetence?! The outcome of my complaint won't even be heard until the 4th August, by which point I'll be gone! Here's the joke: it arrives in letter form! At what address?!?!?!
Please mumsnetters - what the hell do I do?! 